[NF] Following the crowd, or leading it? -not an NF thing?-

[wedekit]

and Wedekit, my tip to you is to not be overwhelmed by lack of open affirmation, you don't need it because as you have just mentioned, you are competent/talented in what you do. Other people need praise because otherwise they would have nothing. There are many unsung heroes who do not allow themselves to be bought in by pride and decide to live in silent humility, and I think that in of itself gives a higher sense of achievement.

(but its always nice to be honestly praised once in a while )

This is very true. Thanks for pointing it out to me.

It may be more noble, but it sure can hurt not to be praised. Some people really need a bit of positive expression to make them cared for, you know? Not everyone can find it internally or in some ideal... I can't, anyway.

Not being acknowledged for what I've done makes me feel like people don't even notice what I do. What makes others so privileged as to have their every minor effort recognized? (Omg, I'm starting to sound like the middle-child that I am!) I don't do things like being a leader for my own personal benefit, I do them for the sake of others. I live for people because (even though I am introverted and generally sociably inaccessible) they are what shine in this world... to me at least. To not be appreciated by the people I strive to help makes me feel completely taken for granted in a lot of cases and makes me consider a reevaluation of my priorities. But again, as mentioned above, I should be concentrating on my own higher sense of achievement and not "yearn" so much for the approval of others, which seems to be the basis of my life up to this point.

I would like to take the time to compliment all those ENFJ leaders out there. All the ENFJs that I have ever worked with never let any good deed or extra effort go unnoticed. I currently work with one that says "Travis, you're AWESOME!" (and usually nothing else) every time I pass her on the way to class or in the Res Hall. Haha.

 

[GZA]

Lol, I was just thinking about that. Actually, your first response to this brought me to this flashback. It was in my 8th grade social studies (so Ive been screwed like this for a long time) and I was partnered up with this guy that was so hung up on his girlfriend to even think about the assignment. I was so pissed that I, once again, had to finish up something that was supposed to be a "team effort". Later when we had to present the paper, everybody had split what had to be said into two, one part for each partner. (does that make sense?) But I decided, hell no and ended up presenting the whole paper by myself as my partner stood next to me confused. Later everyone thought I was a total bitch. :rolli:

In grade 9 I had to write a fairy tale with a girl in my class. I just said screw it, enjoy your weekend, and I wrote and illustrated it myself. I got 100%, and so did she

 

[Kyrielle]

Whenever I'm in groups, I end up being the leader. Usually because no one will step up to the plate and decide something. So, I lead a democratic vote for what we should do, and everyone gets to do the part they wanted to do in the first place. And if two people want the same part, we draw names or do rock, paper, scissors or some other random probability way of deciding who gets what (that way no one can blame anyone but fate/luck if they draw a bad lot). I like groups to be fair and I'll dish out whatever work that needs to be done as fairly as possible.

However, I really hate being the leader. And in following, I usually end up feeling irritated if the person leading is incompetent. It's easier just to do my own thing.

 

[theshadow]

This is very true. Thanks for pointing it out to me.



Not being acknowledged for what I've done makes me feel like people don't even notice what I do. What makes others so privileged as to have their every minor effort recognized? (Omg, I'm starting to sound like the middle-child that I am!) I don't do things like being a leader for my own personal benefit, I do them for the sake of others. I live for people because (even though I am introverted and generally sociably inaccessible) they are what shine in this world... to me at least. To not be appreciated by the people I strive to help makes me feel completely taken for granted in a lot of cases and makes me consider a reevaluation of my priorities. But again, as mentioned above, I should be concentrating on my own higher sense of achievement and not "yearn" so much for the approval of others, which seems to be the basis of my life up to this point.

I would like to take the time to compliment all those ENFJ leaders out there. All the ENFJs that I have ever worked with never let any good deed or extra effort go unnoticed. I currently work with one that says "Travis, you're AWESOME!" (and usually nothing else) every time I pass her on the way to class or in the Res Hall. Haha.

nice to meet you Travis! thats really funny I often say things like nice, I love you, sweet! or just about any other thing that lets people feel noticed.

as far as leading? I am a natural leader usually only but always especially if you throw me into a group of people I dont know. but other then that I dont really like to tell people what to do... you got that.

 

[PuddleRiver]

I don't necessarily follow the crowd, I don't necessarily like leading either. It really depends on how strongly I feel about something. If no one steps up, and it needs doing, then I probably will, although I'd just as probably be going my own way with it, as usual.

 

[antireconciler]

I don't necessarily follow the crowd, I don't necessarily like leading either. It really depends on how strongly I feel about something. If no one steps up, and it needs doing, then I probably will, although I'd just as probably be going my own way with it, as usual.

That's kind of like me. I don't care about a lot of things, like, say, were we go to lunch if I'm with friends, or what movie we go see, but if it's something that needs to be done, like a project at school or work, I often feel strongly that I can do it best, take the wheel, and end up telling people what to do. Although I don't like stepping on anyone's toes, I often don't feel comfortable in the group unless I subtlety (or not) push someone else aside. People sometimes don't like it, but I try to joke with them and keep them happy and that sometimes works.

In grade 9 I had to write a fairy tale with a girl in my class. I just said screw it, enjoy your weekend, and I wrote and illustrated it myself. I got 100%, and so did she

I sometimes have this habit too and it's unfortunate not just to me but to other people as well.

 

[Camelopardalis]

Eck. I gave the leadership role to someone else for my history project. It's due today, and she didn't even have the project because she was putting it off to the last minute to print it (and the other members all handed in their parts. Because she's the leader, it is her responsibility to do the layout and put our articles together), and there were technical difficulties.

 

[quietmusician]

I'm always given the leader role for some reason. And I usually succeed. I don't necessarily want the role, but once given I make the best of it.

 

[phoenix13]

I'm always given the leader role for some reason. And I usually succeed. I don't necessarily want the role, but once given I make the best of it.

From that response, I can see why. You're humble which makes you very open to help and opportunities for improvement. The fact that you want to make the best of it means you're motivated to take advantage of said opportunities. The best leader is the learner (imho).

btw, I'm judging you from that one small response, so it could all be bunk.

 

[Jack Flak]

From that response, I can see why. You're humble which makes you very open to help and opportunities for improvement. The fact that you want to make the best of it means you're motivated to take advantage of said opportunities. The best leader is the learner (imho).

btw, I'm judging you from that one small response, so it could all be bunk.

He's probably just tall.

 

[phoenix13]

He's probably just tall.

Your mom.

 

[Jack Flak]

Your mom.

She's tall too. They made her a supervisor.

In all seriousness, I worked for years at a place where it was effectively the most important requirement for promotion. I was included.

 

[phoenix13]

She's tall too. They made her a supervisor.

In all seriousness, I worked for years at a place where it was effectively the most important requirement for promotion. I was included.

Hmmm, unless you're in the NBA, I'd say that's quite unfair. Meh, their loss.

 

[Jack Flak]

Hmmm, unless you're in the NBA, I'd say that's quite unfair. Meh, their loss.

Fair to some, unfair to others. That's life.

It was a pretty old-school business, with old-school methods, and the big boss surely knew that regardless of what the law said, people are more likely to do something a 6'4" guy says than a 5'4" guy. Not right, just true.

 

[phoenix13]

Fair to some, unfair to others. That's life.

It was a pretty old-school business, with old-school methods, and the big boss surely knew that regardless of what the law said, people are more likely to do something a 6'4" guy says than a 5'4" guy. Not right, just true.

Damn it, I insulted your mom! Read it again!

 

[Jack Flak]

Damn it, I insulted your mom! Read it again!

I don't have to do what you say, bc I'm taller than you.

 

[phoenix13]

I don't have to do what you say, bc I'm taller than you.

I have a gun. Your height is now obsolete.
/thread derail

 

[Jack Flak]

I have a gun. Your height is now obsolete.
/thread derail

I have one too, so I'm double-confident and double-aloof.

 

[phoenix13]

I have one too, so I'm double-confident and double-aloof.

But only after I got one. That means you followed me. And while you're back there, you can kiss my ass.

 

[Jack Flak]

But only after I got one. That means you followed me. And while you're back there, you can kiss my ass.

I don't know about all that, but if true, it also means surprise is on my side.