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  1. #21
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by unsung truth View Post

    and Wedekit, my tip to you is to not be overwhelmed by lack of open affirmation, you don't need it because as you have just mentioned, you are competent/talented in what you do. Other people need praise because otherwise they would have nothing. There are many unsung heroes who do not allow themselves to be bought in by pride and decide to live in silent humility, and I think that in of itself gives a higher sense of achievement.

    (but its always nice to be honestly praised once in a while )
    This is very true. Thanks for pointing it out to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    It may be more noble, but it sure can hurt not to be praised. Some people really need a bit of positive expression to make them cared for, you know? Not everyone can find it internally or in some ideal... I can't, anyway.
    Not being acknowledged for what I've done makes me feel like people don't even notice what I do. What makes others so privileged as to have their every minor effort recognized? (Omg, I'm starting to sound like the middle-child that I am!) I don't do things like being a leader for my own personal benefit, I do them for the sake of others. I live for people because (even though I am introverted and generally sociably inaccessible) they are what shine in this world... to me at least. To not be appreciated by the people I strive to help makes me feel completely taken for granted in a lot of cases and makes me consider a reevaluation of my priorities. But again, as mentioned above, I should be concentrating on my own higher sense of achievement and not "yearn" so much for the approval of others, which seems to be the basis of my life up to this point.

    I would like to take the time to compliment all those ENFJ leaders out there. All the ENFJs that I have ever worked with never let any good deed or extra effort go unnoticed. I currently work with one that says "Travis, you're AWESOME!" (and usually nothing else) every time I pass her on the way to class or in the Res Hall. Haha.
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  2. #22
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chippinchunk View Post
    Lol, I was just thinking about that. Actually, your first response to this brought me to this flashback. It was in my 8th grade social studies (so Ive been screwed like this for a long time) and I was partnered up with this guy that was so hung up on his girlfriend to even think about the assignment. I was so pissed that I, once again, had to finish up something that was supposed to be a "team effort". Later when we had to present the paper, everybody had split what had to be said into two, one part for each partner. (does that make sense?) But I decided, hell no and ended up presenting the whole paper by myself as my partner stood next to me confused. Later everyone thought I was a total bitch. :rolli:
    In grade 9 I had to write a fairy tale with a girl in my class. I just said screw it, enjoy your weekend, and I wrote and illustrated it myself. I got 100%, and so did she

  3. #23
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Whenever I'm in groups, I end up being the leader. Usually because no one will step up to the plate and decide something. So, I lead a democratic vote for what we should do, and everyone gets to do the part they wanted to do in the first place. And if two people want the same part, we draw names or do rock, paper, scissors or some other random probability way of deciding who gets what (that way no one can blame anyone but fate/luck if they draw a bad lot). I like groups to be fair and I'll dish out whatever work that needs to be done as fairly as possible.

    However, I really hate being the leader. And in following, I usually end up feeling irritated if the person leading is incompetent. It's easier just to do my own thing.

  4. #24
    Senior Member theshadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    This is very true. Thanks for pointing it out to me.



    Not being acknowledged for what I've done makes me feel like people don't even notice what I do. What makes others so privileged as to have their every minor effort recognized? (Omg, I'm starting to sound like the middle-child that I am!) I don't do things like being a leader for my own personal benefit, I do them for the sake of others. I live for people because (even though I am introverted and generally sociably inaccessible) they are what shine in this world... to me at least. To not be appreciated by the people I strive to help makes me feel completely taken for granted in a lot of cases and makes me consider a reevaluation of my priorities. But again, as mentioned above, I should be concentrating on my own higher sense of achievement and not "yearn" so much for the approval of others, which seems to be the basis of my life up to this point.

    I would like to take the time to compliment all those ENFJ leaders out there. All the ENFJs that I have ever worked with never let any good deed or extra effort go unnoticed. I currently work with one that says "Travis, you're AWESOME!" (and usually nothing else) every time I pass her on the way to class or in the Res Hall. Haha.
    nice to meet you Travis! thats really funny I often say things like nice, I love you, sweet! or just about any other thing that lets people feel noticed.

    as far as leading? I am a natural leader usually only but always especially if you throw me into a group of people I dont know. but other then that I dont really like to tell people what to do... you got that.

  5. #25
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    I don't necessarily follow the crowd, I don't necessarily like leading either. It really depends on how strongly I feel about something. If no one steps up, and it needs doing, then I probably will, although I'd just as probably be going my own way with it, as usual.
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
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  6. #26
    it's a nuclear device antireconciler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllAboutSoul View Post
    I don't necessarily follow the crowd, I don't necessarily like leading either. It really depends on how strongly I feel about something. If no one steps up, and it needs doing, then I probably will, although I'd just as probably be going my own way with it, as usual.
    That's kind of like me. I don't care about a lot of things, like, say, were we go to lunch if I'm with friends, or what movie we go see, but if it's something that needs to be done, like a project at school or work, I often feel strongly that I can do it best, take the wheel, and end up telling people what to do. Although I don't like stepping on anyone's toes, I often don't feel comfortable in the group unless I subtlety (or not) push someone else aside. People sometimes don't like it, but I try to joke with them and keep them happy and that sometimes works.

    Quote Originally Posted by GZA View Post
    In grade 9 I had to write a fairy tale with a girl in my class. I just said screw it, enjoy your weekend, and I wrote and illustrated it myself. I got 100%, and so did she
    I sometimes have this habit too and it's unfortunate not just to me but to other people as well.
    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  7. #27
    Member Camelopardalis's Avatar
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    Eck. I gave the leadership role to someone else for my history project. It's due today, and she didn't even have the project because she was putting it off to the last minute to print it (and the other members all handed in their parts. Because she's the leader, it is her responsibility to do the layout and put our articles together), and there were technical difficulties.
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  8. #28
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    I'm always given the leader role for some reason. And I usually succeed. I don't necessarily want the role, but once given I make the best of it.

  9. #29
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietmusician View Post
    I'm always given the leader role for some reason. And I usually succeed. I don't necessarily want the role, but once given I make the best of it.
    From that response, I can see why. You're humble which makes you very open to help and opportunities for improvement. The fact that you want to make the best of it means you're motivated to take advantage of said opportunities. The best leader is the learner (imho).

    btw, I'm judging you from that one small response, so it could all be bunk.

    "OMG I FEEEEEEEEEL SO INTENSELY ABOUT EVERYTHING OMG OMG OMG GET ME A XANAX" -Priam (ENFP impersonation)

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    From that response, I can see why. You're humble which makes you very open to help and opportunities for improvement. The fact that you want to make the best of it means you're motivated to take advantage of said opportunities. The best leader is the learner (imho).

    btw, I'm judging you from that one small response, so it could all be bunk.
    He's probably just tall.

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