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[NF] NFs, Self-Knowledge & Type: Learning about Yourself from Others of Your Type

Afkan

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Jan 3, 2009
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324
Self-awareness may be boosted by close proximity of others of your type.

According to Socionics theory, this is indeed the case.

How would you rate your self-awareness, and has it been boosted from others of your same exact type?

Types with a lower prevalence, I believe, are at a disadvantage due to the scarcity of self-knowledge learning experiences available.

Sure we can still learn about ourselves...while all by ourselves but are such experiences *really* AS helpful as learning from someone else of your type?

Learning about your type is more possibly objective, less subjective (or less painful and thus easier to stomach), when traits are viewed in another person.

Lessons learned from members of your type? Please share.... :hug:
 
Last edited:

Scott N Denver

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Apr 25, 2009
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2,898
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INFP
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4w5
Self-awareness may be boosted by close proximity of others of your type.

According to Socionics theory, this is indeed the case.

How would you rate your self-awareness, and has it been boosted from others of your same exact type?

Types with a lower prevalence, I believe, are at a disadvantage due to the scarcity of self-knowledge learning experiences available.

Sure we can still learn about ourselves...while all by ourselves but are such experiences *really* AS helpful as learning from someone else of your type?

Learning about your type is more possibly objective, less subjective (or less painful and thus easier to stomach), when traits are viewed in another person.

Lessons learned from members of your type? Please share.... :hug:

I would rate my self-awareness as "very high", and if it has been boosted by contact with other INFP's, it has not been by much. Actually, I've not many INFP's in my life, and I don't think any in my childhood. I should point out that I would expect INFP's to score extremely high, probably the highest, of all the 16 types. Kroeger and Theusen have described ENFJ's as "relationship junkies" and INFP's as "self-actualization junkies" Self-actualization definitely requires plenty of self-awareness

I suspect that there is extravert bias ["what do *other* people think of me???], and perhaps Fe bias [how do I make other people *feel*] as well, in the assumptions above. In particular, I feel that the following is very biased: "Sure we can still learn about ourselves...while all by ourselves but are such experiences *really* AS helpful as learning from someone else of your type"

I think I've learned more about myself by finding types that are mostly opposite to myself, it really highlights the differences!
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
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8,243
I don't know any INFPs, but I'm fairly sure I know ISFPs (they're close, but not quite. I'm pretty borderline, and don't identify heavily with Ne.. although I've typed as INFP years ago, with some consultation, and recently as well.. so I might as well stick with saying I'm INFP.). Two ENFJs were somewhat similar, but different for all of the obvious reasons. NF's are hard to come by.

This sounds funny, but I get a lot of inspiration from fiction. The realm of archetypes, more like. Personally related matters have helped too (for example, I kind of went through a whole coming to terms with family stuff and heritage within the past 3 years.. I suppose that was Si oriented. :confused: I'm better for it though.. It expanded my mind in all kinds of ways I didn't expect. I'd say my Fi oriented "actualization" is from spiritual or philosophical matters..and archetypes, like I said.. and has been a part of me for awhile, and ongoing. This is without ever reading Joseph Campbell either... maybe I should do that).
 

Rebe

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Nov 15, 2009
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4sop
I learn a lot from other types, esp. Te dom/auxs, which is my inferior function. Other INFPs or NFPs in general helps me accept myself as who I am. I am always wanting to change, to be better, to be different, but when I express something personal and different and they agree/have gone through the same issue, I feel that perhaps I am not so odd after all. So yes, self-knowledge. Knowing about MBTI helps me 1) know myself and 2) change the weak points.
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
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5,996
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ISFJ
I learn more from other types than my own really. But I do admire other ENFP's ease with some things. Well, admire is not the right word. Crave. Crave is more accurate.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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Apr 18, 2010
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INTJ
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5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I tend to learn more from other types as well, though I don't interact with that many on more than a superficial level. I find the contrasting perspectives and interaction styles informative.
 

alcea rosea

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Nov 11, 2007
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ENFP
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7w6
I would rate my self-awareness as "very high", and if it has been boosted by contact with other INFP's, it has not been by much. Actually, I've not many INFP's in my life, and I don't think any in my childhood. I should point out that I would expect INFP's to score extremely high, probably the highest, of all the 16 types. Kroeger and Theusen have described ENFJ's as "relationship junkies" and INFP's as "self-actualization junkies" Self-actualization definitely requires plenty of self-awareness

I would agree with Scott here about INFP's scoring highest on the self-awareness but I do think ENFP's are quite high too. But ENFP's wouldn't be that when young but more when they are maturing. If they/we are, lol.

I myself don't think I know too many ENFP's in real life, maybe some, it is difficult for me to identify my own type among other people. But I've learned a lot from ENFJ's in my life (about the feeling!) and from INTP's about the intuition and the flow of thought. I had some acquitances with INFP's and I think that would be very "fruitful" connection in the real life (as well as online). I think I could learn a lot from INFJ's too and NT's. I've had a lot of SP friends and I've learned the enjoyment of life from them but not really affecting my "whole-life-long-self-development-project".
 

Afkan

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Jan 3, 2009
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324
I would rate my self-awareness as "very high", and if it has been boosted by contact with other INFP's, it has not been by much. Actually, I've not many INFP's in my life, and I don't think any in my childhood. I should point out that I would expect INFP's to score extremely high, probably the highest, of all the 16 types. Kroeger and Theusen have described ENFJ's as "relationship junkies" and INFP's as "self-actualization junkies" Self-actualization definitely requires plenty of self-awareness
Hm, interesting :)
According to my so-called theory, INFPs may know just as many ENFJs, or even slightly more in some populations, due to prevalence of these types. I agree that INFPs are very self-aware. However, Abraham Maslow = reportedly enfj. Although I do believe that enfjs are synonymous with a life quest of helping others to self-actualize- that is our self-actualization. Or at least that's the case for me.

I suspect that there is extravert bias ["what do *other* people think of me???], and perhaps Fe bias [how do I make other people *feel*] as well, in the assumptions above. In particular, I feel that the following is very biased: "Sure we can still learn about ourselves...while all by ourselves but are such experiences *really* AS helpful as learning from someone else of your type"

I think I've learned more about myself by finding types that are mostly opposite to myself, it really highlights the differences!

Good pt.

I notice that I learn from all types really.

But sometimes its easy brush off "criticism" that comes from viewing others- since its easy to say, "I'm not like that."

Through this method, we can learn what we are not like, but I am not used to learning what I am like from those I am not like.

That said, Scott, I agree; my statement is very biased, and based on my opinion.
 

Blown Ghost

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Aug 16, 2010
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279
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ESFP
This seems like a very inconsistent method to such an important and, more-so, intrinsic part of life... I say that because it's hard to compare yourself to another person, recognize, and separate what you do and do not do from their behavior objectively because no matter how similar you are always dealing with a whole 'nother animal. The most solid tool I have found for not only self-awareness but most forms of self-development is meta-thinking. I understand that, at first, meta-thinking seems a little paranormal, but it's actually fairly simple and very enlightening once someone starts to make regular use of it.

To perform meta-thought, start by realizing that at the very least you are entirely contained to yourself, everything you've ever known, know now, and will ever know contained in your brain. "It's all in your head" is very literally and concretely true, and it's an important foundation to reigning in emotions about what you're experiencing. Then, realize that this applies to everyone, and what largely separates the emotionally/psychologically/intellectually functioning and capable from the dysfunctional is what is contained in your mind (i.e. all thoughts and perspectives on life may exist and be recognized, but are not equal, healthy, and ultimately beneficial).

Meta-thinking, then, is developing, altering, or even entirely removing what is within your mind based on a feedback loop. To meta-think, you must start by taking any thought in your mind, putting it into words as literally as possible, and then projecting exactly that onto an imaginary you.

Using the realization of the concrete separation of persons in the second paragraph, if you can imaginary this other you entirely separate from yourself and build their behavior from your own mind. The idea behind meta-thinking is that instead of the typical "inside only" relationship to self, you can have a relationship with yourself that nearly matches the level of objectivity you can have of another person's behavior. Once you form a judgement about this person (which is actually you) you can pull the projected thoughts back and use the outside/inside view to change your thinking for the better. It might seem complicated, but it's kind of like what you do when you would look in the mirror to check your appearance and make adjustments.
 

Afkan

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Jan 3, 2009
Messages
324
This seems like a very inconsistent method to such an important and, more-so, intrinsic part of life... I say that because it's hard to compare yourself to another person, recognize, and separate what you do and do not do from their behavior objectively because no matter how similar you are always dealing with a whole 'nother animal. The most solid tool I have found for not only self-awareness but most forms of self-development is meta-thinking. I understand that, at first, meta-thinking seems a little paranormal, but it's actually fairly simple and very enlightening once someone starts to make regular use of it.

To perform meta-thought, start by realizing that at the very least you are entirely contained to yourself, everything you've ever known, know now, and will ever know contained in your brain. "It's all in your head" is very literally and concretely true, and it's an important foundation to reigning in emotions about what you're experiencing. Then, realize that this applies to everyone, and what largely separates the emotionally/psychologically/intellectually functioning and capable from the dysfunctional is what is contained in your mind (i.e. all thoughts and perspectives on life may exist and be recognized, but are not equal, healthy, and ultimately beneficial).

Meta-thinking, then, is developing, altering, or even entirely removing what is within your mind based on a feedback loop. To meta-think, you must start by taking any thought in your mind, putting it into words as literally as possible, and then projecting exactly that onto an imaginary you.

Using the realization of the concrete separation of persons in the second paragraph, if you can imaginary this other you entirely separate from yourself and build their behavior from your own mind. The idea behind meta-thinking is that instead of the typical "inside only" relationship to self, you can have a relationship with yourself that nearly matches the level of objectivity you can have of another person's behavior. Once you form a judgement about this person (which is actually you) you can pull the projected thoughts back and use the outside/inside view to change your thinking for the better. It might seem complicated, but it's kind of like what you do when you would look in the mirror to check your appearance and make adjustments.

:) Well its certainly not that scientific. And yes, if we are not taking in all info we miss pieces- that mainly includes the info related to every day life so to speak, and not necessarily type.

I still will say again that I believe that those of us who are less prevalent in type may miss out- At least I think I do. I savor the few experiences I've had knowing other ENFJs and wish I knew more.
 

animenagai

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Aug 22, 2008
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I think watching the videos of other ENFP's really gave me some insight to my own type. That may seem weird to you, am I just projecting to be a type I'm not? Well, that's not quite I mean. For example, I watched Wonka and SS's vids and I realise that my Ne goofiness is why more expressed than theirs. I think people see them as being more sincere. I've had a 'problem' for a while, I was so goofy that I was pretty much an attention whore, or at least I was seen as one, I just goofed off to keep the buzz going in social situations. Now I at least try to talk more about someone else's problems. I also try not to cut people's sentences short (I wasn't trying to be rude, it was my way of showing that I was on the same page as others) as I've come to realise that it could be annoying. I felt that I learned some skills to deal with the other facets of being an ENFP, not just the off the wall Ne stuff I'm so fond of. So yeah, thanks guys.
 

Afkan

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Jan 3, 2009
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324
I think watching the videos of other ENFP's really gave me some insight to my own type. That may seem weird to you, am I just projecting to be a type I'm not? Well, that's not quite I mean. For example, I watched Wonka and SS's vids and I realise that my Ne goofiness is why more expressed than theirs. I think people see them as being more sincere. I've had a 'problem' for a while, I was so goofy that I was pretty much an attention whore, or at least I was seen as one, I just goofed off to keep the buzz going in social situations. Now I at least try to talk more about someone else's problems. I also try not to cut people's sentences short (I wasn't trying to be rude, it was my way of showing that I was on the same page as others) as I've come to realise that it could be annoying. I felt that I learned some skills to deal with the other facets of being an ENFP, not just the off the wall Ne stuff I'm so fond of. So yeah, thanks guys.
:thumbup: Thank you animenagai. Just the kinda stuff that fascinates me.
I really appreciate you going out on a limb and sharing.
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
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Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
How would you rate your self-awareness, and has it been boosted from others of your same exact type?

I consider my self-awareness to be somewhat advanced, although I won't even pretend that I don't have HUGE blindspots. I know this because just a couple of days ago I uncovered a HUGE blindspot that will offer me an opportunity for growth, if I pursue it.

When I first started at INFP Globalchatter and first came here, other INFPs provided a great deal of insight. Oftentimes, it was an INFP putting into cogent words the fuzzy thoughts that had only swirled in my mind. For example, another INFP E9 talked about how she loved Venn diagrams, and she would make them for almost everything. It made me realize I also created internal Venn diagrams during times of conflict, as I have found that conflict is best resolved by first identifying the common ground.

My observations in the Fi-Si loop came from noticing how other INFPs seem to struggle in similar fashion. It quit being a *me* problem, and became a mental trap that people like myself fall into.

Once I reached a certain point though, I quit receiving the big Ah-Hah!s from other INFPs. I would love to meet an INFP that has resolved the issues I am currently facing. As it is, I find that other types are now more helpful in digging up blindspots and offering thought out solutions on how to tackle them.
 

Wild horses

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Oct 25, 2008
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It's great to observe people of my type because I can look at their behaviour and in some cases see my own objectively and understand why people react to me in the way that they do... I was having this conversation with a member last week... that MBTI describes personality and ennegram describes behaviour! and soto go a step further I understand and have learnt stuff about myself from observing those with the same ennegram type as me also. What I have found particularly illuminating is the way ENFP 7w6 behaves under stress and also the avoidance... in both cases it's hard for me to see my behaviour because when stress or put in confrontational situations that make me wanna run I'm acting on adrenalin and can't really think about my actions... so watching someone else display them is interesting!
 
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