positive interactions with the external environment usually gives me a good amount of energy and optimism to make plans for the present and the future. and do some of the work to carry them out. but little things are exhausting to me, doesn't even matter what they are, the fact is they are nowhere near important enough to be influential on me. but it completely exhausts me to the point where i need a whole day of being in a comatose state to recover. or maybe that's a delusion, a bad habit.
i make plans but it takes me a lot longer to carry them out because i get sidetracked. when my emotions are high, i can do anything, get anything done. when my emotions are low, i don't do anything. it's a bad, bad pattern. to me what can be done today can always be done tomorrow. i know i have the energy if i really want it. i know i do. i have flipped my day around to do something i want even when i had worked 16 hrs straight but if i don't want to, i can't be bulged to move a finger.
i need to be more consistent and when i make a plan, i need to stick with it. it's like trying to control the weather; i never know if it's going to be sunny or rainy tomorrow. i love it when i am 'high', i see possibilities and options everywhere and i am making things happen. i would like to sustain that high for more than a few hours each day.
similar problems, anyone?