Are all ENFPs complete dunces when it comes to respecting the introvert's "bubble," or are the ones I know particularly dense?
I think I can express my questions and frustrations best in a narrative format.
About two weeks ago I met an ENFP guy while hanging out with a group of friends. As is expected when your functions are basically the same, just switched around a bit in order, we got along very well and started to become friends. Although I didn't see him too much after that, just every so often around campus, we talked for a bit whenever we saw each other and got along quite well, finding out we had a lot in common as far as interests and viewpoints on life. We didn't spend very much time together at all, though, just here and there around campus for a few minutes at a time.
Yesterday, since it was a Friday and my usual group of friends was mostly gone off campus, I decided to hang out with him and few other people that I've been meaning to get to know better, as well as my best friend at school (INFP) that I hadn't seen much of lately. This is where things really got out of hand. I mean, I suspected that he had been flirting with me before, but it got to crazy level of obviousness, especially when we started our Miyazaki "marathon" (by marathon I mean... two movies ).
HE. WOULD. NOT. STOP. TOUCHING. ME. He sat ridiculously close to me on the couch so our legs were pressed together. He leaned his head on my shoulder. He used my thigh as a pillow and rested his hand on my calf... which was bare because I was wearing shorts. He rested his hand on my knee for far too long a few times. Every time I sang along with the songs (the first movie we watched was Spirited Away, which is both my favorite movie and my one of my favorite albums), he would laugh, "You're so funny!" and try to hug me, which I would try to dodge to no avail. I scooted slightly away from him to both get away and give him a hint, and he merely scooted closer. Meanwhile my INFP best friend, sitting on my other side, had long since picked up on the ENFP's flirtiness and my psychic distress signals (communicated through both emotional vibes and sustained eye contact). He started trying to defend me by indirectly verbally attacking the ENFP, which resulted in a few tense, combative moments between them. It was all so dramatic and terribly uncomfortable. Luckilly I think the ENFP picked up on my prickliness once Princess Mononoke started, because he stopped trying to use me as a pillow and instead sat at a respectful and comfortable distance throughout the whole movie, not even touching me once. Yay.
The thing that really made me uncomfortable about it was that he didn't even bother to ask if I would be okay with it, which obviously, I wasn't, but since I have no backbone I couldn't say anything other than throwing vicious body language at him. I don't really know who's to blame here: the ENFP for being disrespectful of my space without asking, or me for not being more blunt about my discomfort. I don't have anything against the guy as a person. I like his personality. But it's major turn-off for me when someone assumes that they are now incorporated into my personal space just because we have friendship chemistry, even if we've spent barely any time together. If he had been more physically reserved as a whole, I would have been much more receptive to a few hugs here and there, but because he came on so strong all the time, all I could do was "run away from the bad stranger," so to speak. Plus, I'm not looking to date, so I wish he would have asked me that, as well, instead fawning all over me and expecting me to go with it.
I can see why, when you look at the functions, he would act this way. As a Fi-possessor, he's privy to the same ideals and romanticisms that I as an INFP am. But since he's Ne-dominant, he would be less reticent about acting it out in real life, whereas the INFP would be much more likely to keep it to themselves and let it work itself out in real time instead of forcing it.
I guess my big questions are: All all/most ENFPs like this when they're flirting? [I know another ENFP, and pretty much any girl you talk to will say he's made a move on them and it creeped them out, so perhaps it is a consistent trait...? He gave me a random shoulder rub once when I barely knew him, so yeah, I guess so. I thought it was kind of sweet, though, because other than that he never did anything to me.] What are other possible explanations for this behavior? How can I get the ENFP in question to back off and respect my "introvert space" without hurting him, preferably, because I'd like to be friends if possible? What other stories do you have about overly flirtatious ENFPs and what resulted from your experience, or even other types that might act this way?