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  1. #51
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I've found with the ENFPs I know that they are strangely uncomfortable with physical proximity (and I'm not a terribly touchy person and don't usually initiate contact unless I think we're pretty close and they'd be receptive) rather than being touchy feely. In a couple of cases I felt quite embarrassed for initiating what I thought was natural and very natural, appropriate, heterosexual, same sex, good friend contact and got a very awkward reception. Despite being warm and bubbly people, I think ENFPs have their own distinct sense of space and you have to really be in the inner circle for them to feel really comfortable with it.
    ooh, that's interesting. and here i was assuming i'd be odd ENFP out.

    i am very picky about who i am physically comfortable with. it's like levels of comfort and "closeness". i am comfortable being physically smushed against my very good friend of 4 years whereas i am not comfortable with much contact with my very good friend of 8 years. but my 4-year friend is much more like me in terms of ideals and i find her more physically smooth, while my 8-year friend and i share some very different opinions idealistically and she is much more physically awkward. i feel like my 4-year friend and i are very much on the same "level", and it's easier to be physically in touch with her. i trust her more, in general and with letting our physical space overlap. i am also just more physically comfortable being around my size or bigger people. littler people i worry that i will squish or something.

    how do other types feel about physical space? actually, wait, this probably calls for a new thread...

  2. #52
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    I'm generally really sensitive about personal space and not very touchy at all, but one time I was on an architectural cruise of the Chicago River and there was another couple with us. After I rambled on about something for a while there was a pause and I looked down and I had my hand on the other dude's thigh for no telling how long. We laughed about it but did not continue the bromance any further.

  3. #53
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    I'm generally really sensitive about personal space and not very touchy at all, but one time I was on an architectural cruise of the Chicago River and there was another couple with us. After I rambled on about something for a while there was a pause and I looked down and I had my hand on the other dude's thigh for no telling how long. We laughed about it but did not continue the bromance any further.


    i wonder if it's because i/we already feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes from others emotional energy that to hug...just seems like too much...unless you're very close already.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #54
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Dude. I'm never touchy-feely. It makes me uncomfortable that I might be making the other person uncomfortable even if the person is not uncomfortable. I only hug people I know it's okay to hug, and even then I'm insecure and thinking throughout, "How should I hug? Am I hugging too much, too long, too hard, too soft? Should I give a pseudo hug or a real hug?" Or maybe the other person gets the wrong idea. They think you mean X when you mean Y, and that's just embarrassing.

    The only person I really feel comfortable hugging is my husband. Then I don't give a rat's ass. I just hug him however I feel like (along with other things ).

    Even then, I know there are times where touching is off-limits. Like if my husband is concentrating, I know to stay the fuck away if I wanna live.

  5. #55
    Senior Member StrawMan's Avatar
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    I think the guy might be ESFP or ENTP? They could be flirtatious too. ESTP probably would have too different vibe to be mistaken for an ENFP.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kibou-chan View Post
    How can I get the ENFP in question to back off and respect my "introvert space" without hurting him, preferably, because I'd like to be friends if possible?
    I'm not sure if you can be friends with him, it sounds like he was coming on quite strong there. You could have just told him to take his hand of your thigh or calf, he shouldn't take offense in that.

  6. #56
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StrawMan View Post
    I'm not sure if you can be friends with him, it sounds like he was coming on quite strong there. You could have just told him to take his hand of your thigh or calf, he shouldn't take offense in that.
    Well, you can tell him you want to be 'just friends' with him but it's up to him to decide whether or not he wants to be in the painful position of a friendship with someone he's attracted to when the feeling isn't mutual.

  7. #57
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    I can be touchy feely if someone needs comfort whether they admit to it or not. Some people I love to mess with by getting all cutesy-huggy like with my emotionally distant (kinda) tomboy friend "mama loves you *glomp*" just so she'll shake me off.
    And if I interested in someone sexually I'll welcome touching.

    But in general unless irl trolling a good friend is on my mind I'm encased in bubblewrap.
    Once, a girl I had met two weeks before went to side hug me and I totally shut down. She picked up on it. I felt bad. C'est l'vie.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  8. #58
    A wannabe dog
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    Are you sure those people are ENFP and not ESFP?

    Reading this reminds me of an ESFP in real life who doesn't respect my introversion and kept invading my personal space. The ENFPs that I know in real life often appear like introverts, they are quiet, reserved, deep thinker, and they often keep to themselves. And every once in awhile, they will pop out some insightful comments about people. They often wear a smile on their face, the charismatic yet reserved and daydreamy philosopher who always have a friendly look on their face and who always inspire and encourage people to go after their dreams in life, yep, that's an ENFP.

  9. #59
    Spoiled Brat 🍒 Masokissed's Avatar
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    @Starry Maybe these personal space lacking "ENFPs" are the "People's ENFP" ESFJs you've theorized.
    I want my cake and I wanna eat it too

  10. #60
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    The ENFP girl I once knew and now regretfully miss ; - ; I originally felt violated by. It's all because of her almost constant need to be around me, and how she wouldn't stop taking group conversations and relating them to me, usually with half-teasing statements. Like, if the topic were about terrorists, she'd find the most odd of connections between me and terrorism like: "Oh yeah, [DarkMagician] probably enjoys watching little girls get demolished in the blink of an eye... wouldn't be surprised if he invented ISIS. Isn't this true, [DarkMagician]? Have you been planting bombs underneath this carpet this whole time we've been speaking?!"

    and... I sorta just shrugged and nodded, maybe with a "yep. I think so."
    Likes AphroditeGoneAwry liked this post

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