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  1. #31
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    I have serious doubts that he's an ENFP.

    Or at least, that this behavior is in no way particularly representative of ENFPs.

    I think we typically moderate our extraversion to some extent, out of consideration for others.

    I think we're generally VERY sensitive to people's boundaries, and VERY perceptive of their feelings--and therefore, very UNLIKELY to be so aggressive.

    Maybe I'm just speaking for myself.


    I'm looking forward to seeing what other ENFPs think about this.
    I agree 100% procent to wonkavision here.

  2. #32
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    Seems ESFP-ish to me...

    I have many ENFP friends IRL and even in a relationship with one. The ENFPs I know are careful with invading personal space, especially when it comes to me as I'm highly introverted.

  3. #33
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Yea.

    I don't like the thread title. Just for the record.
    Oh, its
    You
    ....

  4. #34
    Senior Member copperfish17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kibou-chan View Post
    Are all ENFPs complete dunces when it comes to respecting the introvert's "bubble," or are the ones I know particularly dense?
    First of all, try to avoid using these kind of words if you're serious about a topic at hand:

    All
    Everything
    Everyone
    Always
    Never

    etc.

    These words generally aren't conducive to logically sound arguments/claims/questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kibou-chan View Post
    What, just because I'm female and he's male, the only interaction we can have with one another is romantically based? Platonic relationships are banned?
    I'm sure that wasn't where Metaphor was coming from. Metaphor is just indirectly telling you that you should've been more proactive in communicating your discomfort to the said ENFP dude. I personally have to agree with his/her implicit advice.

    As to the "I did nothing to stop him" accusation, I must admit that you are on the right track. I didn't verbally ask him to stop, which is my fault, though he did mention that I didn't seem to like the hugs, and I told him that I didn't know him well enough to hug him. He ignored that and continued doing it. I also made it pretty clear through body language that I was not enjoying it. I stiffened, aimed my upper body away, slid away from him when possible, and tried in every way possible not to touch him. What part of that constitutes interest?
    No, he didn't ignore your (non)verbal messages - he simply didn't "get" them the way they were intended. Make the distinction.

    You may think that you "made it pretty clear" to him, but obviously you didn't because he still isn't getting it after plenty of vain attempts on your part. Time to change how you communicate with that ENFP dude, or he'll never get what you're trying to tell him.

    How can I get the ENFP in question to back off and respect my "introvert space" without hurting him, preferably, because I'd like to be friends if possible?
    Try something along the lines of: "I would appreciate it if you would ask me if I am okay with touching before you do so - it makes me feel uncomfortable when people touch me out of the blue."

    IMO, if that ENFP's decent friend material, he'll try to be understanding.
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  5. #35
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Dude, no ENFP I've ever known does that. Flirt thier asses off maybe, but be intrusive, never.
    You don't have to be rude but just politely inform him that you aren't comfortable with the touchy feely. If he continues, then you have a right to be firmer.
    Being a little older I have learnt that most people aren't so up with the body language thang and they can't read minds, so you HAVE to say it. Silence is often interrupted as acceptance. People can't read your thoughts. (although ENFP are usually pretty good.)
    This isn't really about him being an ENFP, it's about you establishing your boundries of what's acceptable. You can't sit there passively, and bitch it about later. The time to act was then.
    Also what ethinicity are you, and what ethinicity was person in question? This may or may not have a large bearing on things, but if you are from a less touchy feely culture, and they are from more touchy feeley ethinicity then you are going to have to take that into account too.
    Personally, I don't think this has anything to do with personality typing at all.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
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  6. #36
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deja Vu View Post
    I don't like the thread title. Just for the record.
    lol yeah. i try to ignore it but it kind of gets on my nerves whenever i look at the NF forum haha

    i generally shy away from contesting a typing simply based on one behavior/circumstance but it's true that it really doesn't sound archetypical ENFP. we can be dumb about a lot of things but picking up on emotional undercurrents generally isn't one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Firey Phoenix
    Also what ethinicity are you, and what ethinicity was person in question? This may or may not have a large bearing on things, but if you are from a less touchy feely culture, and they are from more touchy feeley ethinicity then you are going to have to take that into account too.
    this is a good point. even families, some people have very touchy-feely families (mine) and others have families that hardly ever touch or hug or lie all over one another.

  7. #37
    Kultainen Kuningas Devil Flamingo's Avatar
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    lol, disturbing.

    I'm ENFP and I'm used to being touched because it's common in my culture, but when given an option, I prefer not to be touched, tbh. Needless to say, I don't touch others unless I'm comfortable enough with them to know that doing so would be okay, and even then, I don't do it often, let alone excessively. I don't touch more than necessary, and I'm well-aware of personal bubbles.

    Is he Hispanic or from an Asian culture? Not all Asians are into touching (Japanese culture certainly ain't) but I think Filipinos and nearby cultures are, and Latin Americans are too for sure, so are Italians. All these cultures are affective. Ofc, it could just be the case that he simply likes touching people; American culture is both affective and neutral.
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  8. #38
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    In case they don't:

    per·son·al space [pur-suh-nl speys]
    noun
    1. The region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically theirs. Invasion of personal space often leads to discomfort, anger, or anxiety on the part of the victim. The notion of personal space comes from Edward T. Hall, whose ideas were influenced by Heini Hediger's studies of behavior of zoo animals.

  9. #39
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    enfps may be less shy about showing interest or more agressive when it comes to making moves and it's possible he just thought you were shy instead of uninterested...but..honestly i do think enfps are really good at picking that sort of thing up and i'm not at all touchy with people that i'm friends with..i don't like my space invaded and i wouldn't ever wanna do that to someone else.

    so...clueless enfp...or somethin else maybe.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #40
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Is it wrong to say some men are less astute when it comes to noticing body language in the first place? I used to have a hard time giving persistent guys the brush off until I learned to not rely on body language to get the point across. You have to take the initiative.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

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