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  1. #21
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Yes. I will shut down completely if someone invades my personal space before I'm ready.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  2. #22
    Junior Member Kibou-chan's Avatar
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    But what about respecting another person's personal space? Do you tend to keep your hands to yourself unless invited or do you assume that it's okay if you feel it's okay?
    Percentage Estimation:

    I-65% N-75% F-65% P-55%

    Functions:

    Fi (50.0) > Ne (48.1) > Ti (32. 8) > Si (29.6) >
    Fe (22.6) > Te (22.6) > Ni (20.6) > Se (13.7)

  3. #23
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kibou-chan View Post
    But what about respecting another person's personal space? Do you tend to keep your hands to yourself unless invited or do you assume that it's okay if you feel it's okay?
    I keep a definite bubble around myself. Not all ENFPs are the same and some are introverted. To touch someone else would be exactly like them touching me so I don't do it.

    If I don't like others touching me out of the blue and invading my space why/how would I do the same to them?

    But I imagine one day, when I get a really close group of friends I'd be able to touch them. I long for that kind of interaction. But I don't do it mostly because I can pick up on body language and social propriety and things like that. Which is why I don't think the guy you're describing is an ENFP- most ENFPs are kinda insecure (due to always seeing all possible outcomes) about how others will react to us and because of this second guessing we're usually quick enough to pick up on any little thing and turn it into "oh no, they don't like me". Even if that assumption is wrong. We're usually wrong in that direction. But we're rarely over estimate how much others like us.

    Edit: Also, I notice you're in Arkansas. I'm in Oklahoma. W00t.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  4. #24
    Junior Member Kibou-chan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    Which is why I don't think the guy you're describing is an ENFP- most ENFPs are kinda insecure (due to always seeing all possible outcomes) about how others will react to us and because of this second guessing we're usually quick enough to pick up on any little thing and turn it into "oh no, they don't like me". Even if that assumption is wrong. We're usually wrong in that direction. But we're rarely over estimate how much others like us.
    I still think he's an ENFP. Just a dumb one/overconfident one. Maybe he's just immature and hasn't developed the empathetic side of himself as well as he should. I'm telling you, he for sure is ENFx. The P and J are harder to tell when you don't know someone that well, and he doesn't seem very much like the ENFJs I know (a lot more upfront about being fanciful, not as opinionated, not strong at Fe at all), so for that reason I don't think he's ENFJ.

    I spent a little time with another ENFP friend of mine today and I noticed that he was very un-touchy, at least compared to the other guy. Even with his on-again/off-again love interest who was also there, he was very specific about keeping to his space. He did push/poke her once or twice when they were running around and being silly, but they were both doing it, and it was in a respectful and nice way, not in any way overbearing, and then he immediately went back to his space.

    But I don't think either one of them share the insecurity you're talking about, especially the one that I'm closer to that I saw today (the non-stalkish one). Most of his emotional battles seem to be of a specifically Fi nature, where the doubts are coming from within the self, and while they may be set off initially by external stimuli such as people, they originate and fester within. I don't think it would be a huge deal for him if someone didn't like him, at least not in an Fe "I must be unlikeable because this person doesn't like me!" way, but in an Fi "What have I done wrong? I thought I was being nice!" way. He might be upset, but it wouldn't get at him for too, too long. Anyway, I don't think he's very insecure; at least, he comes off as confident and self-assured. He doesn't seem like the type who might be derailed by unkind words (like INFP me, though I've gotten better about it ), but someone who could brush it off and keep on going with a smile. But just like any other type, ENFPs are a varied group, and there are many different ways to express ENFP-ness, so I don't doubt the validity of anybody's type simply for that reason.

    EDIT: For clarification, in the above paragraph I am referring to a good friend of mine who is an ENFP, not the person who is the subject of this thread who raped my bubble.
    Percentage Estimation:

    I-65% N-75% F-65% P-55%

    Functions:

    Fi (50.0) > Ne (48.1) > Ti (32. 8) > Si (29.6) >
    Fe (22.6) > Te (22.6) > Ni (20.6) > Se (13.7)

  5. #25
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    Im still not at all sold on the ENFP thing. Going on the model of myself and the two other male ENFPs i know.

    He also sounds very similar to a male ENFJ i know. Male and female ENFJS are strikingly different it often seems.

    If he is an ENFJ, it can be tough to give him the message, this enfj guy i know has the same problem with the guys AND girls in his life. I think being very very straightforward about it is what works best in this situation. His feelings will undoubtably be hurt but once he recovers his pride i think everything will be better for both of you.

  6. #26
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    Also ive noticed that when i am overconfident, (it happens occasionally haha), i am my most receptive of others peoples needs. My pride is not an issue so i put all of my attention into reading what people feel and want and giving it to them.

  7. #27
    Junior Member Kibou-chan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emectar View Post
    Im still not at all sold on the ENFP thing. Going on the model of myself and the two other male ENFPs i know.

    He also sounds very similar to a male ENFJ i know. Male and female ENFJS are strikingly different it often seems.
    I can buy that, considering the ENFJ I know, for which I'm basing my "he's not an ENFJ" theory, is a girl. Still, though, his Fe seems quite undeveloped to me, and he has that childlike demeanor associated with Ne/Fi that you have to drag out of xNFJs. I'll observe him in the future and see what I can figure out.

    EDIT: In what ways, specifically, are male and female ENFJs different?
    Percentage Estimation:

    I-65% N-75% F-65% P-55%

    Functions:

    Fi (50.0) > Ne (48.1) > Ti (32. 8) > Si (29.6) >
    Fe (22.6) > Te (22.6) > Ni (20.6) > Se (13.7)

  8. #28
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kibou-chan View Post
    But I don't think either one of them share the insecurity you're talking about, especially the one that I'm closer to that I saw today (the non-stalkish one). Most of his emotional battles seem to be of a specifically Fi nature, where the doubts are coming from within the self, and while they may be set off initially by external stimuli such as people, they originate and fester within. I don't think it would be a huge deal for him if someone didn't like him, at least not in an Fe "I must be unlikeable because this person doesn't like me!" way, but in an Fi "What have I done wrong? I thought I was being nice!" way. He might be upset, but it wouldn't get at him for too, too long. Anyway, I don't think he's very insecure; at least, he comes off as confident and self-assured. He doesn't seem like the type who might be derailed by unkind words (like INFP me, though I've gotten better about it ), but someone who could brush it off and keep on going with a smile. But just like any other type, ENFPs are a varied group, and there are many different ways to express ENFP-ness, so I don't doubt the validity of anybody's type simply for that reason.

    EDIT: For clarification, in the above paragraph I am referring to a good friend of mine who is an ENFP, not the person who is the subject of this thread who raped my bubble.
    That's exactly the kind of "insecurity" I was talking about. It just came out more mauldin than I intended. I really don't care if people don't like me I'm just quick to assume they don't or wouldn't if I see and interpret (wrongly) any little "sign".

    ENFPs are confident and not terribly deterred but we are sensitive because we're a bit too receptive, it's just shaken off (at least on the outside).

    Like Emectar when I'm over confident I'm even more aware of every little thing .
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  9. #29
    Junior Member Kibou-chan's Avatar
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    Oh, okay. We're on the same page, then. For some reason whenever anyone says "insecure" I automatically think of the Fe type of insecurity, maybe because I was more like that when I was younger and going through my awful middle school years (blech), and I only became Fi out of reaction.

    Thanks very much for the insight into the ENFP mind. It's all so mysterious @_@
    Percentage Estimation:

    I-65% N-75% F-65% P-55%

    Functions:

    Fi (50.0) > Ne (48.1) > Ti (32. 8) > Si (29.6) >
    Fe (22.6) > Te (22.6) > Ni (20.6) > Se (13.7)

  10. #30
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kibou-chan View Post
    Oh, okay. We're on the same page, then. For some reason whenever anyone says "insecure" I automatically think of the Fe type of insecurity, maybe because I was more like that when I was younger and going through my awful middle school years (blech), and I only became Fi out of reaction.

    Thanks very much for the insight into the ENFP mind. It's all so mysterious @_@
    lol. It's not so much mysterious as it is like a giant, ongoing episode of Excel Saga that deteriorates over time. Or at least, my mind is like that.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

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