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Thread: NF Honesty?

  1. #1
    Kultainen Kuningas Devil Flamingo's Avatar
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    Default NF Honesty?

    This is basically a question for everyone, but I'm particularly interested to know if any ENFPs or INFPs are like this too.

    Basically, are you an honest person? Not necessarily brutally honest, but pretty much inherently honest? And does it bug you if you're accused of being otherwise?

    XD When it comes to honesty, all I gotta say is this: though I'm normally harmless and sunny, if you accuse me of being dishonest or assume that I'm lying because "everyone does", you WILL push one of my few red buttons, and I WILL come at you like a wild turkey on steroids and metaphorically scratch your eyes out. I cannot STAND to be thought of as insincere or dishonest, and I actually strive to be as frank and true to myself as much as possible. If I lie, it's either because I honestly believe that I'm telling the truth, or because I'm just trollin' the person to get a reaction out of them, but in the case of the latter I will drop a million and one hints to let the other person or group of people know that I'm not being serious.

    I do not lie because:

    i) I'm not good at it. I'm quite skilled at being honest (if lying is a skill, can honesty be one too?) but I'm a very poor liar. XD It's too much work; I find that telling the truth is so much easier than working up a lie and sticking to it.

    ii) There is very little use or need for lies. If someone asks me about something or someone that I do not wish to discuss and/or that I do not think is any of their business, I will change the topic, or else tell the minimum truth, but I will not lie. I just won't... unless a situation requires me to lie because telling the truth would negatively affect or even harm someone I love or care about (e.g. a gang of criminals ask me where my brother is; so I lie without even thinking about it, because nothing good can come from telling the truth).

    iii) People say the truth hurts, but I think that lies hurt more. Furthermore, I believe the truth shouldn't hurt; people should just accept things as they come and do their best. If a certain outfit does not look good on you, I'm not going to lie to you about it; it's ridiculous to do so. I don't believe in the whole "not hurt someone's feelings" argument, because in lying to them you might make them believe things that aren't true, and ultimately that will hurt more. If the fucking dress doesn't look good on you, then get one that does, and if it's a weight problem (i.e. you are too big for the dress, or the dress is too big for you), then address it and do something it about it, even if you have to ask others for help. No good will come out of making yourself or others believe things that you know to be false.


    Honestly, I feel so strongly about this that (odd as it might sound) sometimes I wish I committed a crime (something silly, like dropping condoms filled with water on top of the heads of the political idiots on Parliament Hill) just so I could plead GUILTY about it; I'm so sick and tired of seeing courtroom scenarios on TV where people again and again and again pleade NOT GUILTY even though they know what they did is wrong. It's like... why can't you accept and own up to what you did? If you're gonna do something bad, or at least against the law, at least have the fucking balls to own up.


    ...This whole thing came up because I went to the money office shit of my uni today and explained the situation to the bitch who was handling my student loan about how I'm gonna need more money because my current loan doesn't cover my jan-april student fees, and she was nice about it but... I got the feeling that she thought I was BSing or not being honest, which pisses me off, because, like, BITCH, IF I HAD TWO FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS JUST LAYING AROUND FOR NO REASON DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE GETTING MY ASS IN DEBT IN THE FIRST PLACE? AND YES, I HAVE A JOB... AT MCDONALD'S. WHAT PART OF FLIPPIN' BURGERS AND MINIMUM WAGE ARE YOU CONFUSED ABOUT? DON'T MAKE ME SLAP YOU.

    /unnecessary, no1curr, etc.

    But yes, accuse me of being a liar, and I'mma go at chu liek dis:

    4w3 sx/so ·· ISFP (?) ·· rcu|E|n
    gryffindor-ravenclaw ·· chaotic neutral
    leo sun ·· scorpius moon ·· earth dragon


    metsän ukko halliparta, metsän kultainen kuningas,
    ava nyt aittasi avara, luinen lukko lonkahuta!

  2. #2
    Phantonym
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil Flamingo View Post
    Basically, are you an honest person?
    Yes, I would like to believe so. But who knows, maybe I'm lying to myself.

  3. #3
    Senior Member angelhair45's Avatar
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    I'm very good at lying, and I spot it easily when others are lying. I am very good at deceit and manipulation. It was a behavior I learned because I had to hide family issues from a very young age. I now strive to live a lifestyle that isn't centered around lies and manipulation.

    I hate consistent dishonesty, but don't mind occasional dishonesty. As far as who I am, I am an open book. I'm very honest, and frank, queen of TMI. I resent it if someone implies I'm insincere. I lied to myself and others for a lot of years about who I was and what I wanted. So now it is extremely important for me to be honest with myself and others and not to pretend for societal standards. That is the form of honesty that is important to me.


    I feel like I am one of the most honest people I've ever met...

    Do I think lying is always wrong... no.

    I won't make a rule out of it.
    http://bohemianextrovert.wordpress.com/
    Please excuse the long drawn out ramble above.
    I have to hear what I've said before I know what I think.

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  4. #4
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    I know integrity is a top priority for an ENFP friend of mine. She even goes to weird extremes to be honest "with herself."

    It is very important to me too. But since self-doubt is a common INFJ thing, I will say like SKY is BLUE! and maybe I am lying to myself sometimes? I know I have in the past, but it seems to me that at the moment, I really meant it. I guess you can be sincerely mistaken or blinded.

    I don't clearly remember having been accused of insincerity.

    Also, I will be very insulted if you show me kindness and you don't mean it.

  5. #5
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    In my experience with people thus far, ranging from friends to relatives, of types INFJ, INFP, ENFJ, and ENFP...

    INFJ and INFP tend to be more honest in the sense of being literal and divulging information

    ENFJ and ENFP are also honest but not divulge information so easily, and might have greater than average potential for operating on multiple motives...

    But that's just the folks I know, and know the MBTI type of (all tested, no assumptions from me!)
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  6. #6
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Well, to your situation above, she doesn't know you and so, she can only be cautious. That wasn't her fault. The world is full of such pathetic liars that one can't just automatically pick you out to be genuine and truthful. Apparently it's rare to have ethics in this world.

    I am the same way, but just with people who I know knows me better than that.

    When I was about eleven and on vacation with my then best friend, we went to a store and she somehow thought I took a piece of candy and put it in my bag. She accused me of this and I didn't speak with her for an hour. I was so, so angry. As an introvert, I tend to just go silent more often than become loud. Though I can swing both ways. To her, it was a simple, no, I didn't take it. To me, it was a WHAT! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM. WHY WOULD I STEAL A PIECE OF CANDY? WHAT KIND OF PATHETIC LOSER DO YOU THINK I AM TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

    I am honest in that I feel bad even taking a dollar off a floor and not be able to return it to the owner.

    Today at work the boss accused me of doing something I didn't do. One of our customers blatantly lied to him about something and I could sense that he didn't believe me. And that he wasn't on my side. And we have worked together for countless hours and gotten to know each other so I was deeply offended that he'd think I'd do something like that and also believe a stranger more than someone who he's known for a greater amount of time. I am so pissed I want to give that psychotic bitch a piece of my mind. But that'd hurt my job, which I need so perhaps I should let this slide unless I got some clever idea of seeking revenge. I am definitely angry about this and I don't want to let it just slide. That bitch did it with 100% purpose, not by accident or by misunderstanding or being dramatic.

    People lie, I lie, mostly to protect myself, but not to steal or be malicious or cause other people trouble.

  7. #7
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Liars make me laugh.
    Oh, its
    You
    ....

  8. #8
    Junior Member Kibou-chan's Avatar
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    This is one of those tricky Fi topics (like most of them XD). Basically, for the NFP, how he or she feels about lying will depend on whether or not he or she has incorporated the "lying" as one of his or her Fi no-nos. Obviously, Devil Flamingo, you have, and you have plenty of reasons you can and have listed for why you hate lying and find it unnecessary. I think this is probably the case for most NFPs, but I can't say that EVERY Fi-dom or -aux feels the same way, as I'm sure that's not true.

    I certainly agree with pretty much everything you listed. I try to avoid lying as much as possible. Like you, I don't see the need for it (telling the truth and being uncomfortable for a few moments feels much better than lying and being uncomfortable with your conscience for days, weeks or months), but like angelhair45, there were some times in my past that I was forced to for my own self-preservation. But 95% of the time I think there's absolutely no excuse for it and I'd much rather tell the truth and suffer the consequences (or just not say anything at all... That's a good tactic every so often XD). Or, even better: Don't do anything you'd be ashamed to tell others about! For Fi-doms this isn't such a hard way to live... It's pretty much how we live our whole lives. Even if we're doing something socially "wrong," as long as we can reconcile it with our Fi it seems perfectly right to us, so there are usually not many qualms with telling others about it. At least, this is my experience of it.

  9. #9
    Kultainen Kuningas Devil Flamingo's Avatar
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    @Rebe:

    XD I know, I am being irrational. But I seriously expect people to somehow ~magically~ know that in a world of liars and cheaters, I am one who does not resort to such methods and therefore I'm not lying. I know it's silly but I cannot help it. And if it's somebody who SHOULD know me better than that, I get worse and erupt like a fucking volcano, lol.

    Also, I think you should rip the bitch a new one. Or else find a way to clean up your reputation; I feel you, because recently at my work a 100 dollars or whatever went missing, and I wasn't accused, but I did tell one of the managers (whom I'm friends with) that nobody better accuse me of stealing shit or else BITCHES WILL BE SLAPPED.


    But anyway, good to see y'all can relate.
    4w3 sx/so ·· ISFP (?) ·· rcu|E|n
    gryffindor-ravenclaw ·· chaotic neutral
    leo sun ·· scorpius moon ·· earth dragon


    metsän ukko halliparta, metsän kultainen kuningas,
    ava nyt aittasi avara, luinen lukko lonkahuta!

  10. #10
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Basically, I'm always honest because:

    1. I suck at lying.
    2. Lying bites you on the ass later anyway, so it's a bad strategy.
    3. It's just wrong.
    4. It's stupid and cowardly.
    5. It doesn't solve anything.
    6. It isn't real.
    7. It blows and hurts.
    8. Negative energy always comes back at you.
    9. It gives other people ammo against you.
    10. It destroys trust, the basis of any kind of relationship.

    Of course, sometimes I HIDE parts of myself that I'm not 'ready' to evaluate or work on quite yet, and get quite defensive (like RAWRRRRRRRRRR attack kitty defensive) if you push me before I'm ready to say something.

    But I won't lie. I might chew you up and spit you out for pushing me. But I won't lie.

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