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  1. #1
    Senior Member ItsAGuy's Avatar
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    Default what makes an infj happy?

    Cuz this INFJ has no idea.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Phantonym
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    Personally, lots of things, the simple little things most often. It's different every time depending on my mood and whatnot. No distinctly noticeable pattern otherwise.

  3. #3
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Awww. Do hugs help?

    For me, some things that make me fundamentally happy are:

    Having a small network of close friends/family who really understand me and who are there for me when I need them, but who also understand my need for alone time.

    Making real connections with people... they don't necessarily have to become close friends, but being part of a community of like-minded people is nice, even a peripheral part.

    Having time to myself to recharge.

    Feeling like I make a difference, even in a small way.

    Standing up in something I believe in and causing even one person to rethink their (misguided, in my opinion ) stance on an issue.

    Learning new things.

    Fixing things, I mean physical things like sinks and cabinets, but I don't think that's very INFJish...
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

  4. #4
    Phantonym
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle99 View Post
    Fixing things, I mean physical things like sinks and cabinets, but I don't think that's very INFJish...
    Oh, ooooh, I love fixing things! And assembling furniture and stuff like that...the more parts, the more tricky it is, the better.

  5. #5
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Oh, ooooh, I love fixing things! And assembling furniture and stuff like that...the more parts, the more tricky it is, the better.
    Cool! I always thought it was my S side coming out a bit. I love assembling furniture and stuff too... it's very satisfying to see something go from parts to whole or broken to fixed just by your own efforts.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

  6. #6
    garbage
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    Successfully accomplishing stuff. And I'm a perfectionist, so my standards are pretty high on what I mean by "accomplishment."

    I find it hard to be oriented about processes--meditation in exercise, for example--rather than the end results.

  7. #7
    Senior Member ItsAGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle99 View Post
    Awww. Do hugs help?

    For me, some things that make me fundamentally happy are:

    Having a small network of close friends/family who really understand me and who are there for me when I need them, but who also understand my need for alone time.

    Making real connections with people... they don't necessarily have to become close friends, but being part of a community of like-minded people is nice, even a peripheral part.

    Having time to myself to recharge.

    Feeling like I make a difference, even in a small way.

    Standing up in something I believe in and causing even one person to rethink their (misguided, in my opinion ) stance on an issue.

    Learning new things.

    Fixing things, I mean physical things like sinks and cabinets, but I don't think that's very INFJish...
    It depends; I have a pretty big bubble of personal space. I only want a handful of people inside it. From them, hugs are great... from everyone else, it just makes me terribly uncomfortable. =P

    Good reply, though. I just seem to be full of contradictions right now.

    • I have a good and good paying job, and can afford to live on my own terms (i.e., no obnoxious roommates, etc) in a high cost of living area (D.C.)) ... and I hate it here. I want to go back to Maine where there's no jobs and none that do exist pay very well.
    • I'm kinda sorta talented (part of why I have a good job) but I never seem to have the energy/good mood to deploy and broaden these talents.. even though I'll have to if I'll ever be occupationally happy.
    • I have a crush on an artistic (something I value very highly and regret not being myself) girl, but she happens to live on the other side of the 'pond.' She spends a lot of time talking to me (especially after my telling her about my affections), but I still have to do all the initiation which makes me feel uninteresting and like a pest... and I abhor the idea of eventually having to ask her to move away from her friends and family to be with me in a strange land (presumbly after a bizarro hardly-ever-got-to-really-date courtship)) ... etc. So I question the wisdom of my interest, though I can honestly say it's the most sure thing I've probably ever felt for another person, and occasionally even am tempted to try someone local... even though the same level of feeling isn't there and she'd essentially be '2nd best' which makes me feel very guilty in advance of even having met this person, etc. I feel like in either scenario I'm destined to be doing something ~wrong~ and that makes me unhappy. I also don't think I should rely on a relationship for happiness, and yet it's something I want most out of life. Conundrum!


    Ultimately I should take me modestly polished talents to try to make my OWN job so I can live where I want (i.e., maybe near her.) But i've gotten so very little (okay nothing) out of what I've wanted from life so far, I'm 33, and I'm just tired all the time.

    YAY! =)

    I'm actually in a better mood than this topic and post suggests, but still... up and down up and down. I somehow need to be happy on my way to becoming happy? It makes little sense to me.

    XKCD should make a cartoon panel out of this.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    DC Metro is a hard place to live sometimes, for sure. Better if you come here with a family already.

    The girl across the pond is something to do while you're getting ready to get ready to actually have a relationship. Don't worry too much about those things (long distance stuff). They take care of themselves. I think you should spend more time with actual women, even if you think you're cheating them because they're second best to some girl across the pond. I think it's nuts to tie yourself down in a situation like that, especially at your age.

    Wanna know what else I think, huh, do ya? Just ask me, go ahead ...

  9. #9
    Senior Member ItsAGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    DC Metro is a hard place to live sometimes, for sure. Better if you come here with a family already.

    The girl across the pond is something to do while you're getting ready to get ready to actually have a relationship. Don't worry too much about those things (long distance stuff). They take care of themselves. I think you should spend more time with actual women, even if you think you're cheating them because they're second best to some girl across the pond. I think it's nuts to tie yourself down in a situation like that, especially at your age.

    Wanna know what else I think, huh, do ya? Just ask me, go ahead ...
    It very well might be nuts, but authenticity is paramount to me (and it seems INFJs in general)... so I can't ignore very authentic feelings for her even though the situation is inconvenient to us both, nor float inauthentic feelings to local women just to satisfy cuddly needs =P Plus, even if I did meet someone genuine locally, I'll have to feel guilty about having woo'd the other girl as far as I have, just to snap our connection? Violates my sense of ethics.

    I'm more or less wondering how to feel happy ALONE in the meantime.
    Last edited by ItsAGuy; 09-09-2010 at 12:28 PM. Reason: pertinent word missing
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    You don't have to be alone, it's really that simple. The long distance girl will do it to you or you'll do it to her, that's what's going to happen. How much face time have you spent with her, anyway?

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