Cascadeco : Thanks so much for your perspective.
It begs the question though if one goes against one's previous held beliefs one always gets the same result and conclusion "I thought I was rooted and I wasn't". I mean, where does one draw the line? Theoretically one can revise our whole personality based on circumstances. What should stay and what should not stay (in terms of world view)? What works? Why be an idealist then?
You are completely misunderstanding the concept of empathy then. Empathy is just that...theoretically putting yourself in someone else's shoes. If I had to be where that person was to understand that he/she might be hurting I'd have to have every bad experience in the world.Going with your metaphor, a perfectly innocent human would have no capacity for forgiveness, because they'd've never had someone hurt them. They wouldn't need to understand compassion.
That is a simplistic way of looking at things. Again, I didn't to experience everything to know how I'd act. You don't dabble into everythingBeing hurt is a terrible experience, and we don't want it to happen to people, but at the same time as you go through life you'll experience wonderful things and terrible things and how you react to them, how you cultivate yourself, is how you grow and become a person.
It's not dumping everything. But if you have a value that tells you "I shall not kill" and you murder someone you need to dump that one at least.And a lot of that is being able to deal with harsh, hurtful realities and, as an NF not giving up on the ideals that you believe in — or being able to amend your ideals to include more of your new understanding of reality. That doesn't mean having to dump everything and starting from scratch all over again, though that's how some people do choose to go about it.
Quite frequently they are incompatible. I dont' know about you, but for me this world is far from perfect and often "how it is" is different from how I think "it should be".I don't think that being realistic and being idealistic are incompatible. Being realistic is seeing the world as how it is. Being idealistic is being able to imagine the world as it should be.
If "that person that you believed in" didn't "live up to what you believed them to be" how can we even know if we knew that person to begin with? People don't LOVE other people because they are human. If I love you because you are blonde and you eventually prove yourself to be brunette....how can I magically say now that I love you because you are brunette, when that's not the reason why I loved you in the first place?People can fail you, and hurt you, and not live up to what you believed them to be. But that doesn't mean that they can't be that person that you believed in. It just means they're human.