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  1. #1
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    Default The basic ENFP dilemma

    I think the basic ENFP dilemma and cause of stress is this. We are driven to interact with people -- always fascinated by people and want to get to know them deeper ... BUT ... we have an inner life that only a handful of people 'get'. We've learnt (probably from childhood) that if we express everything we think and feel, we'll be rejected for being way too weird, intense or out-there so we learn to guard our innermost thoughts and feelings. We want to share and connect at that deep level -- it's a very fundamental need -- but we keep the lid on it because we know that most people can't handle our intensity and the almost psychic insights we come up with.

    So, we have hundreds of surface level friends who think we're charming, happy , fun and loving, but we feel lonely because there are so few people (if any) who *really* get us.

    We are good at making others feel good, but it's hard for others to make us feel good because only that very deep connection is enough to make us feel good and less alone.

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Agreed. That's why I collect NTJs.
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  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Its true yes. I wonder if e4 have an easier time being expressive than e7.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #4
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Default

    I agree with the OP.


    Quote Originally Posted by tortoise View Post

    We are good at making others feel good, but it's hard for others to make us feel good because only that very deep connection is enough to make us feel good and less alone.
    Personally, I can't imagine having that deep connection with anyone but another NFP.

    But apparently others (like Satine) have found it with other types.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    Personally, I can't imagine having that deep connection with anyone but another NFP.

    But apparently others (like Satine) have found it with other types.
    You have obviously never gotten to know a hot female INTJ.

  6. #6
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    It does kinda feel that way wonka even if I hate the whole idea of it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Wonka..is your wife an enneagram 4 ?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #8
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Good posting!

    Yeah I know, lol I therefore sound like the whiniest bitch on the planet :P. "People don't get me, they only think they get me!' I wonder if I just need to open up some times. Mind you, 'getting me' probably requires at least some philosophy talk, and that can kill friendships with boredom alone!
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  9. #9
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    Boring?! Philosophy isn't boring!!

  10. #10
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah i don't really know anyone that finds philosophy boring.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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