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  1. #1
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Default can't seem to get enough of whatever it is i can't get enough of

    the title pretty much says it. i want SOMETHING, but i can't figure out what it is. my little concrete istp boyfriend is always asking me WHAT it is i want, and i can't tell him. i think on a basic level it's a desire for connection, naturally (enfp!!), but i have what i think is an objective sufficient amount of those... but it's never enough for some reason! i'm just so restless and frantic and not at all peaceful.

    i'm happier around people, it makes me feel like i have meaning, and it's fun (usually), but when i'm alone... i start thinking... and then longing... but i couldn't even tell you what it is i want! i know being around people would fix the issue, but i don't think it IS what i need... or what would really settle me.

    does anyone know what i mean? i've really been working on spending time alone and trying to develop Fi, but not only is it "boring," it's lonely and depressing... especially because there never seems to be any resolution.

    how can i like to be alone? how can i be more restful? i really do want to get there.

  2. #2
    Senor Membrane
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    Start a commune. People are not meant to be alone as much as they are in this kind of society.

  3. #3
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    the title pretty much says it. i want SOMETHING, but i can't figure out what it is. my little concrete istp boyfriend is always asking me WHAT it is i want, and i can't tell him. i think on a basic level it's a desire for connection, naturally (enfp!!), but i have what i think is an objective sufficient amount of those... but it's never enough for some reason! i'm just so restless and frantic and not at all peaceful.

    i'm happier around people, it makes me feel like i have meaning, and it's fun (usually), but when i'm alone... i start thinking... and then longing... but i couldn't even tell you what it is i want! i know being around people would fix the issue, but i don't think it IS what i need... or what would really settle me.

    does anyone know what i mean? i've really been working on spending time alone and trying to develop Fi, but not only is it "boring," it's lonely and depressing... especially because there never seems to be any resolution.

    how can i like to be alone? how can i be more restful? i really do want to get there.
    I know this feeling. Christians talk about a God-shaped-hole, but after years as a Christian, the hole didn't fill up! I need connection all the time. It's very hard for me to be on my own. If I am, I'm texting, IM-ing, FB-ing or looking in here. If I'm not interacting with other people, I just don't feel right in myself.

    That's just the way it is. Some people are driven to succeed, we are driven to interact.

  4. #4
    Senor Membrane
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    I wonder what the hell am I driven to...

  5. #5
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    Maybe we have imaginations that reality can never compete with.

  6. #6
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    You could start by stopping trying to be what someone else thinks you should live up to since you never will live up to it. You find someone who is "fine all by themselves" and they will have other issues.

    You probably just need to relax about who you are, everyone has issues in all different ways. Just because someone doesn't have the same ones as you doesn't mean if you change to be more like them you won't have issues.

  7. #7
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by tortoise View Post
    Maybe we have imaginations that reality can never compete with.
    Reality is awesome, it really is. Looking back I see my life a lot like an adventure, many things that I would have never dreamed of. It's just that looking forward I have no direction. Maybe that's what makes it possible to have adventures. I don't have a plan so I am never too occupied to have a sidetrack.

  8. #8
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    Reality is awesome but it could be even better if it matched my imagination of how things could be!

  9. #9
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    My life is a long sequence of side-tracks.

  10. #10
    Senor Membrane
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    Well tell me what is that great thing in your imagination? I'm expecting a LOT since my imagination is nothing compared to reality.

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