User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 15 of 15

  1. #11
    Member kccrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    54

    Default

    One of my friends is an ISTP. Everything is always great, except for when we tried kissing, then everything got super weird. It was a bad kiss - and we waited nearly one year to talk about it (today in fact...how odd!!). She is always there for me, and I like the fact that I can always rely on her. Honestly, I'm not sure why she likes me...I think I help her connect to feelings she never shows with anyone else. I like the fact that she just listens to me no matter what ridiculous thing I might be fretting about. She's just great, and there's not many people I can say that about.For the record I never feel clingy around her. I like the fact that we can have deep conversations and then I can walk into my house and not wonder about what she's thinking...there's no lingering feelings. There's just what we have between us when we have us, and the fact that I can tap into it whenever I need it. It's the most "deep and satisfying" friendship I've ever had that hasn't gotten overly dramatic or anything. It's because I relax at the fact that the ISTP is totally and completely trust worthy, genuine and gives you as much as they can when they can. You got to believe in that when you have it, since it's such a rarity.

  2. #12
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    3

    Default

    Benefits:
    1) I love the fact that we're both introverts... there's something reassuring in the fact that we don't mind having alone time to ourselves or alone time with each other.

    2) I admire his logic; he admires my feelings. I love it when he takes the time to explain to me whatever he's thinking about/working on. He can get so hyped-up from the intricacies of a subject, that I'll get swept up in it, too. It doesn't happen too often, mainly because he is so quiet and usually lets me do the talking when I get into "intuitive, emotional rambling mode."

    3) I absolutely love to cook and take care of him in ways that are immediate and physical. He caters to my nurturing side and I cater to his sensing side. Added bonus - in return he usually outpours some romantic mushy-type feelings that he's been keeping to himself.
    His friends, I'm sure, are quite surprised by our interaction - the first thing they usually tell me is "you're perfect for him" and the next thing is "I've never heard him say things like that/I've never seen him do things like that."

    4) I don't know if this is the case with all ISTP's, but I know with him he can be extremely negative about other people, the world, his life, etc etc. To him, he is viewing everything through a hyper-realistic point of view, and he really embraces the idea of the life being this chaotic, strange, and meaningless experience. I'm the exact opposite - I can be way too idealistic, hopeful, and ascribe too much meaning to everything. I enjoy the idea that things all are interconnected and meaningful.
    Whenever he gets into a rut, I usually lift him out with my overly idealistic nature - and when I get into mania-mode, he can usually ground me with his realist nature. The same applies to people - when he gets frustrated with people, I just remind him that they're all people and they all deserve a chance. When I get frustrated with people (from spreading myself too thin), he reminds me that not everyone is worth a 110% effort on my part, because some people are just assholes.






    Problems:
    1) When he gets frustrated with something, he either wants one of two things: for me to leave him alone and give him space, or for me to jolt him in some sudden way to "snap out of it." It's hard for me, an INFJ, to dish out advice like that. I usually want to sit down and dissect and converse the problem out, which just makes him more frustrated because he feels like it isn't getting resolved. Nowadays, when he feels stressed about doing something, I just snap and tell him, "just do it! get it over with!" and he happily proceeds.

    2) Of course, his coping mechanisms don't work with me as well... especially when I'm upset about something. There have been so many times when he's told me, "Just stop worrying" or "Don't be angry." I understand that he pointing out my over-feeling/over-worrying side, and that, really, the only solution is to just stop it since I'm doing it to myself - but occasionally it gets frustrating to hear because I just can't help it in that moment.

    3) His logic is always right/My feelings are always right. We both depend on them too much. When they clash - forget about it! I can't tell you how many unresolved arguments we've had on those grounds. But, we can usually just accept the fact that we'll never really agree - and then later, after I have the time to think his logic through and he has the time to absorb my feelings, we come to a compromise without even talking about it. It's strange, but wonderful.

    4) His hobbies seem overly dangerous/frightening/physical for me sometimes. My hobbies seem cautious/boring/too mentally involved for him sometimes. I'm okay with him not liking my hobbies, since I don't mind doing them alone. However, he usually wants me to do his hobbies with him... I've tried to be open to it, since I enjoy that impulsive side of him, but I just don't know how okay I am with snowboarding or sky diving. =X

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    256

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Spot on based on my observations, although ISTPs also tend to find the INFJ pretty fascinating themselves. There's something about this dynamic where the buried layers of each person compels the other, whether that's the inner-adventurousness of the INFJ or the interpersonal depth of the ISTP. However, those deeper aspects aren't really the norm, so it creates a huge well of anticipation where the other person always wants a bit more.

    If both people can be happy with the "always wanting just a bit more" feeling, using it to fuel passion rather than resent the other person, it can really work. However, as Fidelia suggests, it often just leads to eventual frustration in the long term.
    I agree with Fidelia's thoughts and with Udog's. The "huge well of anticipation" is a good way to describe it. I was with my ISTP husband for nine years but we grew more and more apart because I felt almost none of my needs were being met in the relationship. However, we lasted so long because I think we both appreciated the differences in the other. He has a sensitive side and I knew that he cared about me. He didn't show it in a way I could feel, though. I relate to the feeling of always wanting a bit more. For a long time, I could put aside my own needs and get them met with other N friends. I think that feeling of always wanting a bit more can be attractive because you're always optimistic that the other person is going to do or say something you don't expect or is suddenly showing a side of himself you've never seen. So, I think our differences were attractive to one another. Having a P in common helps a lot in that we both did not demand a decision from one another about most things.

  4. #14
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    socionics describes the relationship as activity partners. the basic ebb and flow of interaction is mostly symbiotic, but communication seems extremely challenging. istp females feel like an intensely challenging game, but beyond the thrill of the game, there doesn't seem to be enough gravity to keep a steady, prolonged orbit intact.

    Se can put Ni doms back in the moment, but it can't unlock their minds. on a practical level, it can be very helpful, refreshing, and grounding, but the possibilities don't sparkle with the same interest as with Ne types.

  5. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    256

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    socionics describes the relationship as activity partners. the basic ebb and flow of interaction is mostly symbiotic, but communication seems extremely challenging. istp females feel like an intensely challenging game, but beyond the thrill of the game, there doesn't seem to be enough gravity to keep a steady, prolonged orbit intact.

    Se can put Ni doms back in the moment, but it can't unlock their minds. on a practical level, it can be very helpful, refreshing, and grounding, but the possibilities don't sparkle with the same interest as with Ne types.
    I think it was Charles Lindberg and his wife, Anne Morrow, who were good examples of "activity partners." He taught her to fly and they flew together many times, but she was interested in books and writing and (I recall reading) joining him constantly on his flights drained her.

    I agree that an ISTP loves to engage in an activity, and occupy her or his mind with that. In my relationship, my partner wanted me to join in his favorite activity, which was the focus of his life. I think the second bolded part above is a good way to describe the ISTP, INFP relationship. I appreciated him (and still do) for his ability to be helpful and grounding but that Ne sparkle definitely wasn't there. We communicated at different angles to one another. We would frequently miss what the other was getting at and have to ask each other to explain. The communication was very challenging. I liked that he brought me out of my thoughts but I find it much more satifying to be with someone who is of a like mind and enjoys exploring possibilities and ideas.

Similar Threads

  1. INFJ and ESTP/ISTP Relationships
    By highlander in forum Intertype Relations
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 06-20-2017, 11:11 PM
  2. [ISTP] ISTP Relationships, Love and Romance
    By grendiecat in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 04-21-2015, 07:44 AM
  3. [ISTP] ISTP relationships
    By Cryonium in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-14-2013, 11:02 AM
  4. [ISTP] ISTP Relationship User Guide
    By StephMC in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 117
    Last Post: 08-20-2012, 07:58 PM
  5. [MBTItm] ISTP/INTP girls + INFJ men relationship
    By lorkan in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-24-2009, 08:56 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO