[INFJ] INFJ and Compliments

[tovlo]

Tovlo, you're already familiar with the author's ideas even if not with her book. The author is Lenore Thomson.

Amazon.com: Personality Type (Jung on the Hudson Book Series): Books: Lenore Thomson

Aaahhh! I did see that one in my Amazon listing, but the title was different than described in the thread. Is it the same Wedekit?

 

[wedekit]

Yes, that's the one.

 

[quietgirl]

I hated compliments & was generally pessimistic until I hit my early-mid twenties. Now I'm actually fairly optimistic unless I'm in a pouting sort of mood (which never really last long). I'm still not graceful about receiving compliments, but I find simply saying "Thank you" seems to do the trick. For what it's worth, my ISFJ boyfriend's way more pessimistic than me & seems to ignore compliments that are thrown his way or he'll turn it around to compliment you instead - thus not really accepting the compliment.

 

[quietgirl]

admittedly I have the problem of wanting to be with the "in crowd" as well, but it's mainly when I'm in a bad mood, feeling isolated, and have had no recent contact with close friends. Also if I have a crush on someone I become paranoid about how they think of me.

.

I'm not going to lie - I shared the same sense of belonging throughout high school & college. Now that I'm past it, I still find myself needing a close group of friends or joining activities so i can "belong". I don't do it for the social aspect as much as the sense of belonging.

 

[Athenian200]

I hated compliments & was generally pessimistic until I hit my early-mid twenties. Now I'm actually fairly optimistic unless I'm in a pouting sort of mood (which never really last long). I'm still not graceful about receiving compliments, but I find simply saying "Thank you" seems to do the trick.

How optimistic? Incredibly so, or just enough that you don't feel sad as much?

 

[quietgirl]

How optimistic? Incredibly so, or just enough that you don't feel sad as much?

I'd say reasonably so. I'm not so overly optimistic that I ignore all signs of imminent disaster, but I tend to hope for (and occasionally expect) the more positive of two outcomes.

 

[nightning]

Now calling anyone out here, but if you're an INFJ, you should be a natural with compliments. Compliments are really the domain of extraverted feeling.

Perhaps the ENFJ might be more comfortable with giving compliments... I for the most part don't give much perhaps because I myself don't like to be complimented too much.

Right now I not even sure if I am an INFJ as many members of this forum think otherwise.

So, feel free to ignore my postings for this thread.

I don't really think it matters what your true type is. You could be a borderline (even though I doubt it).

I'm still not graceful about receiving compliments, but I find simply saying "Thank you" seems to do the trick.

That's what I ended up trying to do these days... The "thank you" works better to keep the other people from saying anything more elaborate, instead of my old method of trying to push it all away.

 

[tovlo]

Yes, that's the one.

Thanks wedekit and marmalade. It's now on my list.