User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 51

  1. #11
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    327

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    This is probably going to disappoint you.
    But because I was so sure.. I just didn't worry about stuff in the same way I normally would.. I was confident. So really, my behavior was more genuine and real then it would be in most cases, in that I am very guarded, nothing is fake.. but I am choosy with what I am willing to show.
    SO I just went with it.. I did not fight it, I nurtured it. I reacted against my instincts but never more with them at the same time. Something else just kind of took over.
    I connected.. I can't explain it beyond that.
    That doesn't disappoint me! Thanks so much for answering the question.

    This situation I'm in now is very different for me too -- (in typical ISTJ fashion) I usually get to know (*cough*borderline interrogate*cough*...joke, kind of) a person for a great deal of time first, then access whether they have the qualities I'm looking for, then decide to proceed and try to figure out how to get their attention (and it usually fails because we're not on the same page). I basically would have a checklist and if they fulfilled all of that, I would proceed in my interactions with them.

    But with this ENFJ, I've done none of that at all. I'm getting to know him in a very natural and fun way; it's comfortable. And I feel like we're connecting: like when i'm looking at him, he's looking at me in the same way. The whole thing is very odd for me - I'll be interested in seeing how it develops.
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  2. #12
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,878

    Default

    Friendly flirting - Anything that doesn't have the motivation of 'actual flirting'.

    Actual flirting - I want to have sex with you.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  3. #13
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    327

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Friendly flirting - Anything that doesn't have the motivation of 'actual flirting'.

    Actual flirting - I want to have sex with you.
    Ah, but how does your physical or verbal behavior actually differ? Do you do anything differently or do you do things the same (but only you know your true motivation)?
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  4. #14
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    341

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Afkan View Post
    I tend to banter & joke and tease if i really, really like you. And I tend to make banter more and more personal & specific, custom made, tailored for the individual and show off my perceptions of how well I "think" i get you to see reactions to tell if I "really" get you.
    If it's "real flirting", I get pretty naughty with the double entendres.

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Another question: how do you, ENFJs, use touching when interacting or flirting with other people?
    I'm kind of weird about touch and who I will let touch me (although I like the idea of cuddles parties and I like getting massages). I like giving hugs. In a workplace environment I might touch someone on the shoulder or elbow, but I'd have to be pretty close to them to do that.

    With the person I'm currently dating, when I wanted him to grab my hand I would put it close to the middle of the table and expose my wrist. He was always too shy/flustered to actually go for it until much later. I always waited until his hands were close enough, and when I made my move he always backed off. It was really funny!

    He did something really sweet for me on our second date and to "reward" him I took his arm on the way to the restaurant, but that seemed to make him uncomfortable so I grabbed his hand and I heard him gasp. He didn't let go, but I think it was a bit shocking for him.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    2,532

    Default

    ^ Yea, I get turned off when people touch me pre-maturely, sometimes its a deal breaker. I have to make sure that I really like them first.

    When I flirt, theres a ton of smiling involved, and I tend to look deep in to their eyes. I will also suggest that we hang out more . Oh and I will also give them tons of compliments...whatever I like about them I will say it out loud.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  6. #16
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    ^ Yea, I get turned off when people touch me pre-maturely, sometimes its a deal breaker. I have to make sure that I really like them first.

    When I flirt, theres a ton of smiling involved, and I tend to look deep in to their eyes. I will also suggest that we hang out more . Oh and I will also give them tons of compliments...whatever I like about them I will say it out loud.
    And it is exactly what it is .. a compliment .. we'll save the "flattery" for your mother.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    2,532

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    And it is exactly what it is .. a compliment .. we'll save the "flattery" for your mother.
    Its all about the way I say it not just random compliments here and there.

    Flirty: "damn, your lips are luscious"

    Not Flirty: "you have nice lips"

    Flirty: intense deep stare in to his eyes..."your eyes are amazing"

    Not Flirty: "your eyes are beautiful"

    com·pli·ment (kmpl-mnt)
    n.
    1. An expression of praise, admiration, or congratulation.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  8. #18
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    To me there is only friendly flirting.

    Unless I am convinced it destiny.. which has happened maybe 3 times in my life.. I wont approach you if I like you.

    If I like you, you'll know by how much Ignore you.. Like I have said before.. it's very counter productive
    #1 - Arclight, OMG. I totally do this, too... except the more 'destiny' I feel it to be, the more I'm become catatonic. (Maybe that's the ineffable Fi thing.) It's completely banal and absurd... but that hasn't stopped me yet.

    #2 - AutumnReverie, I love your title for this thread. ENFPs are often misunderstood to be flirting, too. I don't have any specific advice to give you other than to try to be friends with your ENFJ. If it's meant to happen, it will.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  9. #19
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    327

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    If it's "real flirting", I get pretty naughty with the double entendres.
    Check.

    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    He did something really sweet for me on our second date and to "reward" him I took his arm on the way to the restaurant, but that seemed to make him uncomfortable so I grabbed his hand and I heard him gasp. He didn't let go, but I think it was a bit shocking for him.
    Aww, that's so cute!

    Also, thanks for answering the touching question! My attitude towards touching is probably most like the person you're dating right now. If someone wants to hug me or hold my hand, they always have to initiate

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    When I flirt, theres a ton of smiling involved, and I tend to look deep in to their eyes. I will also suggest that we hang out more . Oh and I will also give them tons of compliments...whatever I like about them I will say it out loud.
    Thanks for the response, good to know!

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    #2 - AutumnReverie, I love your title for this thread. ENFPs are often misunderstood to be flirting, too. I don't have any specific advice to give you other than to try to be friends with your ENFJ. If it's meant to happen, it will.
    Oh yes, I'm definitely just going to try to be friends at this point. I'd like to get to know him more and let things progress naturally.

    Bbbut I always like to have some sort of idea where something is heading -- not really the natural "go with the flow" or spontaneous type -- hence my trying to understand his actions better (the flirting).
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  10. #20
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    2,900

    Default

    I'm a very aggressive flirt when I'm actually interested.
    If I am friendly flirting with someone and they flirt back in a way that oversteps the boundaries, I get very " Hey now." I'm sure it comes across as being playful and nudgy, but there's no real warmth or coyness behind it.
    You may be curious how one is aggressive and coy . I will be more obvious with my flirting in an actual scenario, almost demanding a reaction. If the reaction is something preferrable, I can get coy and very ":blushing: Aw shucks" about it.

    I do what Afkan does, by way of person-specific comments.
    I also make a lot of eye contact, smile far too much, can't get enough of the person I'm interested in, and become very touchy.

    Touch does play a big part and can be a dead give away for my interest in someone. It's something to really take into account. I can appear to be flirting very hard with someone, but if I don't touch them beyond playful nudges to get their attention, then it's likely that I'm not actually interested.

    Ex: NYC Typology meetup- Ballentinechen was sitting next to me and I kept playfully making comments every time he had to get out of his seat, because I had to move as well. My INFP friend swore I was flirting with him and hard. I didn't even notice or acknowledge it, because it was just my normal mode.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] ENFJ ignoring/cold to a close friend?
    By gulsy in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-28-2012, 09:24 PM
  2. Age difference with your friends
    By Chloe in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 09-29-2010, 10:04 PM
  3. [SJ] SJ's if you know or can guess, what are the types of your good friends?
    By cogdecree in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04-08-2009, 12:07 PM
  4. Hi all :D An ENFJ male has found your hidden paradise
    By SpottingTrains in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 01-25-2009, 08:40 PM
  5. How Do You Differ From Your Type?
    By RansomedbyFire in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 01-10-2008, 08:48 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO