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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by craigensa View Post
    I have an INFP female friend (told her to take the test and she came out as definite), and I thought they were good listeners...recently when I've been upset or something and I've come on fbook chat to her, she would start talking to me asking what was wrong, I would go into a bit more detail and she would make maybe one comment and then go offline, not texting me or anything. This isn't really like her...we've been there for each other in the past. I was genuinely upset...parent issues...divorced but still living together and they're both being horrible.

    Is there something wrong with her that she's not telling me about? I concede that I had a moment with her when I told her I liked her...unreturned...so we spent a few months out of contact then got into contact recently. She sent me a very sweet card on my bday not too long ago and it seems like things are all good. Is there still residual fallout? It seemed like she was being very hypocritical by just not paying any attention to me, as she has mother issues too.
    Either she doesn't want to talk about it because she has unresolved issues about the same thing. Kinda like avoiding pain by not listening to anything that reminds her of her own problems. Or, she thinks you use it as a strategy to get romantic with her.

  2. #22
    Junior Member craigensa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Either she doesn't want to talk about it because she has unresolved issues about the same thing. Kinda like avoiding pain by not listening to anything that reminds her of her own problems. Or, she thinks you use it as a strategy to get romantic with her.
    Well I know it's not the latter...I realised we're better off as friends and I've expressed this to her and had a long chat about it so we're all cool. It just didn't seem like a very 'friendy' thing to do.
    "Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." Berthold Auerbach

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by craigensa View Post
    It just didn't seem like a very 'friendy' thing to do.
    As friendly as we usually are, we are still Fi and that basically means that the world in fact does evolve around us more than anything, so if she is having hard time with her mother issues I wouldn't be surprised that it is the priority for her. I think many INFPs would agree that our motto is "help yourself and then you'll be able to help others".

    Edit: This doesn't mean that she is conscious of the fact. I maybe made it sound like she consciously and deliberately chooses to do what she does. I don't think it is so. It is more like she doesn't want to admit her own problem to be on her mind. It is semi-conscious choice. Am I confusing you? I think I am confusing myself... uhh...

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by craigensa View Post
    I have an INFP female friend (told her to take the test and she came out as definite), and I thought they were good listeners...recently when I've been upset or something and I've come on fbook chat to her, she would start talking to me asking what was wrong, I would go into a bit more detail and she would make maybe one comment and then go offline, not texting me or anything. This isn't really like her...we've been there for each other in the past. I was genuinely upset...parent issues...divorced but still living together and they're both being horrible.

    Is there something wrong with her that she's not telling me about? I concede that I had a moment with her when I told her I liked her...unreturned...so we spent a few months out of contact then got into contact recently. She sent me a very sweet card on my bday not too long ago and it seems like things are all good. Is there still residual fallout? It seemed like she was being very hypocritical by just not paying any attention to me, as she has mother issues too.
    Did you ever find out what was going on?

  5. #25
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Nah just confused as much as the human condition allows. In that respect we are hypocritical selfish when we are in our shadow manifestation and like any shadow energy we then align with negative energies. And as such during our storms of impersonality we tend to take charge of our confusion and hold onto a more self absorbed view of the world.

    Where as in a healthier state we are perhaps the most good natured beneficiaries of receptive energies towards others there is in that sense selflessness in our undertakings to help others that need it.

    of course when we are unable to draw the line and refuse to help when the goodwill has been abused and taken advantage of those people that consider this to be selfish and hypocritical are hardly understanding that they took more than they need and then the energy is a reflection of that shade of gray and tone accordingly.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by flameskull95 View Post
    If you're implying I'm an ESTJ/ISTJ, I can't be, I've gone over that option and I actually started off mbti thinking I was ISTJ, then INFJ then I looked at functions and found out that I was actually INFP, except my Te is stronger, like an INTPs.... so that's where that 'suck it up' stuff probably comes from, was just wondering if it was an INFP thing also.
    If you freqently want to tell people to suck it up, and you're sure you aren't a TJ, you might want to look into ENFP.

    Hmmm...maybe I should elaborate. Some ENFPs have high Te, but it's generally fueled by Fi unlike a TJ's Te. I have a lot of empathy for suffering, but a certain kind of whining makes me roll my eyes, and excessively passive men drive me batshit ... in a bad way.

    Anyway, ENFPs are notorious for being 'the champion' because we aren't afraid to speak up for what we think is right. We're much, much, much more likely to confront someone who we dislike or think is an asshole than an INFP is. I also thought I was an introvert at first, and apparently this is common with ENFP because of Ne dominance and what is known as "introverted extroversion" in ENxPs.

  7. #27
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    If you freqently want to tell people to suck it up, and you're sure you aren't a TJ, you might want to look into ENFP.

    Hmmm...maybe I should elaborate. Some ENFPs have high Te, but it's generally fueled by Fi unlike a TJ's Te. I have a lot of empathy for suffering, but a certain kind of whining makes me roll my eyes, and excessively passive men drive me batshit ... in a bad way.

    Anyway, ENFPs are notorious for being 'the champion' because we aren't afraid to speak up for what we think is right. We're much, much, much more likely to confront someone who we dislike or think is an asshole than an INFP is. I also thought I was an introvert at first, and apparently this is common with ENFP because of Ne dominance and what is known as "introverted extroversion" in ENxPs.


    lol. I think you solved my sister's problem on her ENFPness. haha .

    I understand what you're talking about, but I don't mean it in that way.
    The example was "telling people to suck it up but not telling them to, as they would be hypocritical in that sense", not that I always feel the urge to tell people to "suck it up",etc.

    but, unusually, I have considered being an INTJ, because of INTJ behavior and profile. But I think that's just because of the INxP(weak f) thing I have going on, because INFP males tend to have variable Te.

    This is a bit long and complicated. I first started mbti based the usual experience-biased test which said I was an ISTJ, I agreed with it because it was so uniform and solid than I got INFJ the third time on that test and thought it the INFJ profile was much more accurate. Untill the point where I couldn't really relate to the behavior of an INFJ, even though I could relate to the profile. THEN, I saw the INFP functions which I thought I could apply to more than the INFJ functions, (the 2 types have practically completely opposite functions, so I had to choose one).

    After that, I considered myself to be an INFP. THEN, I found out about how INFPs can be very clumsy and disorganized, stereotypically emotional/wimpy, and inconclusive, which I didn't totally apply to, - since I have the urge to be conclusive with my type. SO, I started to consider INFJ again, because I thought I actually do respect organization like an INFJ does. And then I found out that strong Te could be mistaken for a J, and then I found out that INTPs have the same functions but a stronger Te compared to an INFP, so now I consider myself an INXP(weak f).

    - After all this, me questioning my type(like I usually do) with reason, makes me reassured about my type being (INFP+INTP), there are a lot of people that have this problem, that 'don't bother' and classify themselves as 'INFXs'(Which I actually did once), - who are like me and are actually INXPs.

    sorry for the late reply...
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

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  8. #28
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    As for selfish, I prefer "self-absorbed" which is less about ignoring the needs of other people than being oblivious because I'm lost in my own head. When I am aware, then I am usually not selfish.
    I agree with this. I would say I'm more oblivious and self-absorbed than selfish. Sometimes very oblivious. xD But I try not to be.

    I normally don't have the feel like telling some people to 'suck it up' or 'put your act together', I actually feel like comforting them (even though sometimes I don't know how to). I tell them it's ok to cry, it's ok to feel however they are feeling... But when I'm feeling down, I tell myself to suck it up and put myself together, asking myself what the hell is wrong with me. Lately I've been trying to be nicer to myself...

  9. #29
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    I'm not. I rarely experience the urge to mend somebody.

    But if somebody is doing something hurtful or extremely unwise and they look for my validation or support I wouldn't give it to them. And I wouldn't feel selfish about that.
    Hot-hearted head

  10. #30
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flameskull95 View Post
    After that, I considered myself to be an INFP. THEN, I found out about how INFPs can be very clumsy and disorganized, stereotypically emotional/wimpy, and inconclusive, which I didn't totally apply to, - since I have the urge to be conclusive with my type. SO, I started to consider INFJ again, because I thought I actually do respect organization like an INFJ does. And then I found out that strong Te could be mistaken for a J, and then I found out that INTPs have the same functions but a stronger Te compared to an INFP, so now I consider myself an INXP(weak f).
    Are you sure of that? Because INTPs have Ti, not Te... (or I didn't get what you said?)

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