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  1. #1
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Default ENFP confronted to suicide

    I was wondering how an ENFP would react if a friend was to attempt suicide and he found out about secret pains the person was living with.

    What would it do to you? Would you cry? Would you wish to defend or protect the person?

    What would you say if you were to go and see the person at the hospital?


    Has it ever happened to you?

  2. #2
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    I would be quite torn really. I never thought suicide was logical. I'll probably try and talk to them about their problems. Not that anyone could commit suicide when I'm their friend. Who would want to live in a nagai-less world?

    edit: last sentence is silliness. DOH!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    I'd be able to relate immensely. I wouldn't judge someone in that situation because in part, judgments lead to that situation, I know what it's like to literally be in that much pain.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  4. #4
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I can't relate to feeling suicidal. At all.

    But, I do react when someone tells me. I don't pretend it's not there.. or maybe they're over-reacting. I take it. Very serious. I witnessed a rather gruesome one occur when I was younger.. so I know people are very capable of it if driven to that point.

    If they don't get help, or show signs of wanting to fix the situation themselves after they confess it to me, I will inform someone (a family member, a close friend of theirs, etc.) and probably pay extra attention to them until I am sure the situation is diffused.

    I don't judge them.. I don't give an opinion. "Well, its your fault this," or "It was totally not your fault that" I don't try to take any sides on the situation. It is what it is. I can't really have strong opinions on something I cannot relate to.. the only one I have is that if you're suicidal, you need to get help, and as a friend, you need to be part of that help. So.. I'm sticking to that plan.
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  5. #5
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    I can't relate to people who would openly express that they're about to commit suicide;
    whine and force that problem on to others. When I was a handfull of pills away, I didn't
    tell anyone about it. I instead locked my apartment up, opened up the living room
    window to let the air out and turned off the heating. I was prepared to make it
    comfortable for whoever found my dead body weeks/months later. I would never cry for
    help. What the fuck would anybody help me with anyway? Few can relate to my
    problems, and even if they could I would never acknowledge it. This is, of course, yet
    another taboo subject for many, blah blah blah, but I won't give you my sympathy.

  6. #6
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I was wondering how an ENFP would react if a friend was to attempt suicide and he found out about secret pains the person was living with.

    What would it do to you? Would you cry? Would you wish to defend or protect the person?

    What would you say if you were to go and see the person at the hospital?


    Has it ever happened to you?
    It has happened to me more than once (the suicide rates are quite high in this country) that somebody quite close to me has attempted suicide and succeeded on it.

    It is terrible "swamp" of emotions that one goes through. I did sense something even without those people telling me about their plans to end their lives, but I didn't believe my intuition. But, as I've realized after those happenings (those people died, they didn't just try to kill themselves), that a person cannot be helped if they dont' want to be helped. There is no point in blaming yourself afterwards. You do as much as you can to help but at the end it's their choice, not yours.

    Emotionally, it's terrible time. I wanted to understand but I've also learned that I cannot understand it, nobody can, except if you have been on the same desparate state as they are. And I haven't been there, I'm happy to say. Suicide is not usually seen as a way to die for those who try to kill themselves, it's seen as a way to escape the desperate situations (there are studies about this).

    Anyway, it is terrible and I hope nobody has to go trough it, the suicide of somebody close to you. I even wish that nobody would commit suicide because it's so horrible thing. But it happens. And even an ENFP can deal with it but it'll take time, many years before it's only a part of past live. And even so, you'll always miss the people that aren't with us anymore. And the question "why" doesn't ever go away, it just gets a little bit "smaller" over the years.

    But after somebody trying to kill themselves, and not succeeding (a good thing!) I would try to support that other person and not trying to blame them anyway. I would try to make them accept some professional help in dealing with their problems and stand by them all the time. I would also suggest that you, the support person, would seek some help, somebody to talk to , somebody who you can lean on to, maybe even professional help, so you can sort out your own thoughts and emotions.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    I can't relate to people who would openly express that they're about to commit suicide;
    whine and force that problem on to others. When I was a handfull of pills away, I didn't
    tell anyone about it. I instead locked my apartment up, opened up the living room
    window to let the air out and turned off the heating. I was prepared to make it
    comfortable for whoever found my dead body weeks/months later. I would never cry for
    help. What the fuck would anybody help me with anyway? Few can relate to my
    problems, and even if they could I would never acknowledge it. This is, of course, yet
    another taboo subject for many, blah blah blah, but I won't give you my sympathy.
    I was rather wondering how you would react if your friend failed at it and you found out afterwards that he was so depressive. If he kept all this to himself like you said.

    Sorry to hear you've come near suicide yourself. Are you better now?

  8. #8
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    If someone told me that, I would be indifferent to the cause. I honestly wouldn't care.

    If it was my brother who did it, I would call him a selfish prick, because he's got a
    daughter to take care of. He would lose my respect. His own father commited suicide
    when he was a kid, so he should know what it's like growing up without a father. And
    my father tried to commit suicide when I was eight, while I was waiting for him to come
    pick me up after school. Parent's should know better; that their kids depend on them.

    I'm not being a hypocrite neither. The only ones I have, are my friends, and friends
    come and go, none of them depend on me. It's completely irrelevant in comparison.

  9. #9

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    I've known 5 people who've suicided. All meant something to me while living, though they were family friends, teammates, younger people who I'd helped out with things, older people who I'd looked up to when younger. I was never really that friend they'd confide in. I think the biggest problem is people not knowing there is even a threat of it happening, which was true in 4 of the 5 cases. If someone actually told me and gave me a chance to change it, I'd do all I could to get them out of there. I don't really know anyone who'd pretend they were going to, so that option would probably get little weight.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    The closest I've been been to suicide was my best friends dad who shot himself (rather out of no-where) this past May. It was so unexpected that it really just smacked everyone in the face...it took a while to sink in.

    Suicide is the worst thing ever. The idea of having absolutely nothing to live for or no one to connect with is the most troubling, scary, and saddest thought to me...

    I'd take a proactive approach if I knew anyone was suicidal. I'd give up my time to discuss and spend time with them, no matter who it was.

    Someone once told me suicide was a choice. A choice? When you are that far down the path of depression, ANY human is incapable of rational thought. It is not a choice and I would NEVER ever blame a person for committing suicide. Afterall, who are we to even try to understand the troubles of a person? The most we can do it offer our service and make ourselves available to anyone who is suffering.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

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