[ENFP] ENFP confronted to suicide

[stringstheory]

Oh man. The thoughts are pervasive and DEEP. Sometimes I stop telling myself not to think them because it seems like doing that makes them worse.
It's beyond "down", it's all the way over the edge. And some people reach the point of no return. But I don't have to tell you that.
It gets so tiring, fighting day after day ....and then you have people on the outside telling you that you're selfish, weak etc., and well add in that you're never "cured" it's just a recipe for disaster. I consider myself living on borrowed time. I'm in such a dark place right now I can't even talk lucidly about the low points because I am in a low point right now.

exactly... down doesn't quite describe it well, i chose it though because of it's physical implications, and as you said it's tiring to fight the constant battle, physically as well as mentally. And even in a healthier state of mind they are still draining to deal with. It might be easier to deal with them in this case, but in an unhealthy state of mind imagine what such intrusive and out-of-control thoughts can do.

i just realized i never actually answered the OP, so my response would likely be to do what i could to help, including talking, sharing experiences, keeping a VERY close eye on the person, helping them find help, "just being there" and/or letting others know to keep an eye out on the person without disclosing too much information.

A few months ago, right after I got dug myself out of my hole, I had to deal with this with my best friend and these were some of the things I did. not all of these things "helped" him, per se, but the intent is to keep the person alive not to get them better; that's a road they have to go down on their own.

 

[georgie777]

I recently made a new friend and we have become close pretty quickly, she intrigues and interests me and we talk all the time. As the weeks have gone by our conversation has gotten deeper and deeper until recently she told me that she suffers from depression and previously suffered from bulimia and anorexia, she also attempted suicide twice in the past year.

I struggle a lot with having this one person that I love and just want to help at all cost, i dont know if thats a ENFP thing or if i have other issues, basically this means I rely a lot on other people and I NEED to help them. Anyway shes the one person I love and want to help right now and I found it really hard finding out that my friend went through/is going through such tough things that I cannot help with, it saddens me incredibly that I cant make her happy and healthy. I very much rely on this friend now and the thought of her commuting suicide and not being around is unbearable.

Pretty much in answer to the questions it tears me apart finding out that the people I love and care for are hurting in ways in which I cannot help, I also struggle to relate and help her with her suicidal thoughts because it has never been a problem. I'm stuck between wanting to help so badly but not being the right person, I support my friend and frequently let her know that I love her and need her and she says I am the reason she is still here today which is a pretty big responsibility but it works because I feel this need to help

I think I'm more screwed up then the average ENFP though haha

 

[Isis]

I've had distant friends take their lives and I was shocked to learn they were even suicidal- so completely caught off guard each time.

I've talked to suicidal people online - in hopes of helping. Because I see- right now- the extreme pain the loved ones of my friends who took their lives- go through each and every day.

I try to be very understanding but I will not "baby" a suicidal person. I will not be condescending. I try to empathize. I know life is hard.

But I think all you can do is listen. Try to give an alternate view. Urge them to get professional help. Tell them you are there for them. (And BE there for them!) And paint a picture of what they will leave behind if they choose this route. I'm telling you- it's a horrific picture what is left to the loved ones. It's not about guilt tripping a suicidal person- but it's about a reality check. The reality is- they leave very broken people behind for their actions. At the end of the day- it's their choice.

 

[Bardsandwarriors]

I've known 2 people who committed suicide many years after I knew them. One was a best friend for a few years at school, and always preoccupied with dark, morbid things and maybe had family problems (but wouldn't talk about them). He was successful, clever and well liked, but took it hard when a girlfriend left him in middle age.

Another, a casual family friend gassed himself in a car one day, and we learned later that he was taking uppers and downers (pills). That day, he had been bullied at work (iirc) and went down too far.

A friend I made online a few years ago wanted to go out with a bang. I liked her dry, warm sense of humour, but that came partly from a long-standing empty depression and being on medication which zoned her out too much, so she felt numb. When I heard of her plans I was overcome with sympathy and talked to her a lot, and thought about her situation non-stop for about a week, until I made her see the positive things in her life, and a light for the future. One way or another, I was determined to prevent her going through with it.

I just hate losing friends. My life is always in a state of flux, so friends come and go, but when they are unhappy I feel it too; and when I lose a friend I've become attached to, it affects me deeply. Sometimes I make friends with unhappy, but basically very warm and sensitive people. I can usually find ways to lift them up, and conversely, I like their down to earth humour and easy goingness. But those are sometimes the very types of people who take things personally and feel things too strongly.

 

[kyuuei]

Ive been present at a suicide... So I tend to take them quite seriously. I would never leave them unsupervised, tbh. I'd probably make them contact the suicide hotline, and I'd inform their family if they had anyone reliable. If they didn't I'd make them come home with me until I found a plan of action for them.