I knew when I replied that it was an old topic but my best ENFP and I decided to look into what other people had to say about these friendships, and so much of what we felt was echoed in what skylights said that I had to post. When I was reading her post, I heard it in my ENFP's voice.
I thought it might be helpful to someone to share another success story, especially since we find this relationship so rewarding. Before we met everyone told us how similar we were, and we couldn't deny it, and the longer we've known each other and the more we've come to understand our difference, the more we've turned into two sides of the same coin. We completely embrace our "twin"ness. (The fact that our voices sound identical when we're excited/happy - to the point our signficant others, parents, close mutual friends and even ourselves when we once listened to a video of us both talking can't tell us apart - helped us come to that conclusion as well haha.)
She was just telling me yesterday after we replied here that she wishes she could help other people find their twin - a person they can tell anyone to and they know will understand but is just different enough to balance out each other's more extreme tendencies. Besides making me want to cry, it definitely reinforced the fact that I want to post here and say try to make this work! It can be an amazing thing!
I can say for sure our biggest road block was dealing with each other's stress response. When I was going through a break up with a friend of hers, I was in obsess and fix it mode and she was hearing from both sides the stress, which sent her into panic and flail and run mode. It was overwhelming to us both and we ended up not talking for a couple of months until one of our mutual friends yelled at my ENFP to stop running from the situation and I had exhausted myself from obsessing and had finally come to except it. We never had a situation like that again, but I was afraid I'd lost her forever over being sad about a break up and that was scary - it was something so small. But we get each other now, though, so we know when we can come to each other crying and we know how to make suggestions for calming down that are a blend of our two ideas. Like I said, we're pretty much each other's greatest strength at this point.
I would love to hear more about what your ENFJ - and any ENFJs have to think. Most of what I read online are from ENFP perspectives.