I didn't want to say this, because it sounds mind game-y and personal and relates to my situation not yours -which is very different-, but since its going that way anyway I will admit: yes, hold yourself away. There seems to usually be a push-pull thing with ENTPs and INFJs, so maybe in your personal dynamic it is just happening the opposite way. I have no idea. As long as you aren't trying to hide from your own feelings, but are truly putting her need for space first, I don't think its cowardly. She cannot feel your absence if you are so ever present. Perhaps once she does she will feel like you, a tail with no wag as you put it.