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  1. #51
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Not having sex for prolonged periods of time is sort of like starving yourself for no reason - it's a physical pleasure and a part of life. My Fi struggles with this still because I like committed relationships and 'ideas' that extend toward the future so I am still tweaking it but it makes logical sense to me most of the time. The fact is 1) I like sex. I find boys real attractive and yummy. And 2) The chance of meeting your soul mate is really slim so I don't feel that it's reasonable for me to wait that long.

  2. #52
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsyG0irK7V8"]Mmm[/YOUTUBE]
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  3. #53
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    so are you saying people who talk about it like that are engaging the psychological aspect of sexuality way more than the physical aspect of it? or like... it's meaningful because we put meaning into it. not because it's inherently meaningful?

    i think you're totally right on both counts, but it also can't be ignored that something more than just sex happens during sex. it's still a social exchange fraught with implications.
    I only saying there's a focus I (think I) can spot in NFPs. One can sort of see the attention given to something other than the physical. Or more exactly, the attention directed away from the physical. There is some attention, but the area of interest is, for the most part, something else. And it's probably not an issue for lots of people, but I'm aware of it as a cautionary sign. Because Lord knows what actually happens when the drawers hit the floors, but as a fellow who for the most part eschews the physical realm for other areas of interest, I'm fairly strongly aware of when other people or situations aren't going to be support my tentative explorations. Over-aware, probably. And you know the remarkable thing? It really makes no helpful difference whatsoever how cute this trepidation may seem. That is rather more of a fall back position: oh, the physical stuff is so comical, but we still have some bond of how humorous the physical world is. Bleh.

    Or to put it another way, it's fraught with implications most especially if you're built to be aware of implications. if you find your implications in some other aspect of the world, then it's fraught without implication.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

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  4. #54
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    Or to put it another way, it's fraught with implications most especially if you're built to be aware of implications. if you find your implications in some other aspect of the world, then it's fraught without implication.
    Kalach, very well said. And, I agree with you completely.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  5. #55
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    Not having sex for prolonged periods of time is sort of like starving yourself for no reason - it's a physical pleasure and a part of life. My Fi struggles with this still because I like committed relationships and 'ideas' that extend toward the future so I am still tweaking it but it makes logical sense to me most of the time. The fact is 1) I like sex. I find boys real attractive and yummy. And 2) The chance of meeting your soul mate is really slim so I don't feel that it's reasonable for me to wait that long.
    That's pretty much how I feel. I felt like I was going to be a virgin until I was 46 doing things the "proper" way. And I believe most people who are fucking their "soulmates" in a committed/by the book/straight laced relationship are just saying that so it becomes okay to fuck.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  6. #56
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    That's pretty much how I feel. I felt like I was going to be a virgin until I was 46 doing things the "proper" way. And I believe most people who are fucking their "soulmates" in a committed/by the book/straight laced relationship are just saying that so it becomes okay to fuck.
    Awww.... Don't be so cynical. I think meaning is something you give, not receive. You can choose to find soul mates... especially if you let go of ridiculously naive ideas that any one person can complete you.

    I like to think of my idea of soul mate is a little more flexible than how a 16-year-old who has yet to be kissed might define it. No one person can fulfill all my empty parts. But I can choose to find someone who fills many of them... and then seek to fill the rest of them with my friends and family. If you take this approach to soulmateness, then it's no longer an unattainable ideal.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  7. #57
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Awww.... Don't be so cynical. I think meaning is something you give, not receive. You can choose to find soul mates... especially if you let go of ridiculously naive ideas that any one person can complete you.

    I like to think of my idea of soul mate is a little more flexible than how a 16-year-old who has yet to be kissed might define it. No one person can fulfill all my empty parts. But I can choose to find someone who fills many of them... and then seek to fill the rest of them with my friends and family. If you take this approach to soulmateness, then it's no longer an unattainable ideal.
    I guess I took that first step a long time ago. The whole "someone to complete me" thing never made sense to me. I need multiple people.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  8. #58
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    I only saying there's a focus I (think I) can spot in NFPs. One can sort of see the attention given to something other than the physical. Or more exactly, the attention directed away from the physical. There is some attention, but the area of interest is, for the most part, something else.
    i totally agree with this. For me, i think, that "something else" is pretty evenly split between learning about myself (sexually, emotionally, etc.) and, to put it simply, making intimate connections with others. Is that the kind of something you had in mind?
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  9. #59
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    i totally agree with this. For me, i think, that "something else" is pretty evenly split between learning about myself (sexually, emotionally, etc.) and, to put it simply, making intimate connections with others. Is that the kind of something you had in mind?
    The only thing I had in mind (approximately every seven seconds of each day) is that an NFP reaction to physical exploration is, first, to be curious about the implication. They'll be watching me doing my explorations. Which is fine (no, it's not), but exploration as performance is less wonderful than physical exploration to physically explore (together).

    As for what really happens, I don't know. Having an audience means being more competent than I am aware of being.

    You all know, right, about how an extroverted perceiving function is in the moment? Surely you should, as it's your dom. So you know all about the lack of planning, the in-the-moment choices, the reward for going with the flow, the disappointment when the flow is lost and your chance went wrong.... Magnify that to inferior proportions.



    Dr Kalach, at your service. Making love to implications since 1917.


    And I notice no ENFPs talking about the need for ritual and how the physical space needs to be right for it to be right. Hmmmm, how implicative!
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Awww.... Don't be so cynical. I think meaning is something you give, not receive. You can choose to find soul mates... especially if you let go of ridiculously naive ideas that any one person can complete you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    I guess I took that first step a long time ago. The whole "someone to complete me" thing never made sense to me. I need multiple people.
    You make it sound like relationships are arbitrary; frail and inevitably limited
    by default. Sounds like deep down you wish for relationships to be absolute,
    and wish to enclose your uncertainty, but dare not say it because past
    experiences has told you that such is unlikely. It's not being idealistic, it's
    being realistic, and pessimistic. What's up, NF's? At least I believe that any
    one person can fill up that empty chair.

    As for typology, I believe that this is more about instinctual variants than
    anything else (not that we have settled anything).

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