User Tag List

First 23456 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 118

  1. #31
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    Apparently virgins aren't allowed to have opinions...
    Of course they are. But you've gotta admit that your opinion would carry a bit more weight if you had some first hand experience in the matter.

    It's the difference between knowledge and experience.

    If I think back to how my opinions about sex changed between before and after my first physically consummated relationship, I remember that I was able to see more shades of gray. Up until then, my judgments on the matter were very black and white.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  2. #32
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    ^shades of gray make the world full of nihilism sometimes.

    Casual sex is for people who take life casually or at least sex casually. After you've done it, it is obvious your brain will adapt to it (one wouldn't want to regret such a thing...specially not an ENFP).

  3. #33
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    589

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    ...

    Apparently virgins aren't allowed to have opinions...

    :steam:
    When you have no experience, it's difficult to speak on a subject and have your opinion be respected. Since you are a virgin you have not yet had the experience of being emotionally burnt out in terms of relationship sex or relationship incapable with someone you'd like to get to know better. See how experience plays a part in broad sweeping generalizations made about the morality/self control of others?
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  4. #34
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    ^shades of gray make the world full of nihilism sometimes.

    Casual sex is for people who take life casually or at least sex casually. After you've done it, it is obvious your brain will adapt to it (one wouldn't want to regret such a thing...specially not an ENFP).
    Cognitive dissonance.

    You make it sound like casual sex is a bad thing.

    Again, I don't think casual sex goes against the grain of ENFPs at all. Again, there are two camps. Some ENFPs would be considered hyper-sexual and are promiscuous --> lol at old school world. Others look at sex as an option only when there are serious feelings and a relationship involved. Different strokes...that sounded wrong. I know both types both IRL and on this forum.

    Also, casual sex is not necessarily *meaningless* sex.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #35
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    589

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post

    Also, casual sex is not necessarily *meaningless* sex.
    People do not understand this concept. At all. They think any sex not in the context of a traditional, normal, committed relationship is always meaningless. Quite infuriating. This is what makes it so hard to find someone on a similar wavelength that won't treat you like a toy.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  6. #36
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    8,263

    Default

    I guess it's kind of infuriating for me to get called "gay" or "Eeyore" if I take a step back from someone who considers "one drink" a date and wants to get a hotel room right away.

    Not that there's anything wrong with gays or Eeyore.. It's just the connotations and entitlement there. Merely because I take my time and slow down a bit.

  7. #37
    Senior Member You's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    2,137

    Default

    If I could have sex everyday with someone new...I would.
    Oh, its
    You
    ....

  8. #38
    Member 7thsomebody's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    41

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Funkadelic View Post
    I'm a virgin.

    Casual Sex is for the weak who can't control their hormones. and those without integrity. or decent morals. and don't try to justify it.
    I disagree. I have a high sex drive and I am emotionally guarded. In many ways I am reluctant to let people in emotionally who aren't friends because I do not want to be in a position where I crumble should and when they screw me over.

    Secondly sex is a very physical act. No doubt people who are in love can speak of the deeper resonances but it is humanity at its most basic and primal, it is very natural and has very little to do with integrity. Sometimes it can feel enjoyable. Other times it can be a soulless exercise.

    Anyway I would suggest you do not judge other ENFPs so harshly if they do not conform to your viewpoint.
    If there is anyone who is in the sun would you help me to understand? 'Cause I've been caught in between, all you wish for and all you mean. Oh now maybe you're not even sure, what it's for anymore than me...

    -Joseph Arthur, In The Sun

    If I find my way, how much will I find?

  9. #39
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Again, I don't think casual sex goes against the grain of ENFPs at all. Again, there are two camps. Some ENFPs would be considered hyper-sexual and are promiscuous --> lol at old school world. Others look at sex as an option only when there are serious feelings and a relationship involved. Different strokes...that sounded wrong. I know both types both IRL and on this forum. Also, casual sex is not necessarily *meaningless* sex.
    I've thought about what you've said CzeCze, and I think you're right. So I'm going to moderate the opinion I expressed in my earlier post a bit.It does seem that ENFPs seem to be either:
    1. very sexually active with the newest and shiniest (and prettiest) thing they encounter, or
    2. they tie their feelings about sex up with concepts like soul mates.

    Perhaps the underlying commonality to these two, seemingly opposite positions, is that ENFPs approach their sex life with purposefulness.

    Take for example an ENFP male I know who is @35 and a reasonably attractive guy. He was a serial monogamist in his 20s. But at some point, he decided he was going to make up for his youthful propriety by "playing the field." He didn't just follow his penis around like a horny teenager. He made a very conscious choice to experience as many women as possible while he was in his mid-thirties. And, then AFTER he decided how this fit into his bigger plans, he proceeded to nail any good looking chick that would yield herself to him.

    And even Esoteric Wench (who falls into the "have-sex-with-your-soul-mate-camp") has to admit that the one sleep-with-a-guy-on-the-first-date experience she had, was very much a conscious and premeditated choice. I had just gotten out of a very bad four-year relationship, and had concluded that maybe I needed to try something new since my previous dating experiences didn't seem to be getting me anywhere.

    So I decided to take a chance when that good looking jazz musician/potter with whom I had mutual friends introduced himself to me as I sat by myself in a bar reading a book of poetry while waiting for my friend. I said to myself, "Well, Esoteric Wench, you've said that you wanted to try some different approaches when it comes to meeting men. Why don't you do what you swore you'd never do. Sleep with him tonight and see what happens." So I did. And, he and I wound up dating for eight wonderful months. (I don't think I'd do it again, but I'm glad I did it once.)

    But I'm digressing from my original point, which is that sex is filled with meaning for ENFPs... just like almost everything in an ENFP's life. I think seeking out the meaning in our actions is at the very core of being an ENFP. But what I forgot (and that CzeCze rightly pointed out) is that some ENFPs choose to have casual sex.

    But casual sex is not meaningless sex if it is a deliberate and meaningful choice to pursue such encounters. Choosing to have that fling can be a purposeful choice.


    It is the idea of having sex with an absence of meaning (casual or within a committed relationship) that really makes my stomach turn.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  10. #40
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Cognitive dissonance.
    Exactly. So people often justify it as natural, primal, or talk about the beauty in the "here and now" etc.

    You make it sound like casual sex is a bad thing.
    It's not a BAD thing. But whether one likes it or not it is historically tied with relationships and love. Like the word niger. The intent in which you use the word niger doesn't matter much, because people are geared to judge that gesture of communication in a certain way.

    In a different world I'd have sex with anyone I wanted whenever I wanted. But familiarity breeds indifference. Sex is one of the few things we usually do with our partner once we are in a monogamous relationship. And monogamous relationships are valued immensely by most. So between best friends, acquaintances and significant others, there have to be tools to accurately communicate how differently we feel about the person in question. In monogamous relationships, sex is usually a big part of it. People stop having sex with other people to have sex with only that person. That tells us something about the importance of sex even for people who previously might have delved into casual sex extensively.




    Again, I don't think casual sex goes against the grain of ENFPs at all.
    I see casual sex in ENFPs just like their casual chatting. Talking to everyone, under the impressions they love the whole world and life this is a good way to show it. But just like they invariably tend to prefer deep conversations tha mere chit chat so do they prefer sex that makes a statement and is deeper.

    Also, casual sex is not necessarily *meaningless* sex.
    I guess. I'd love to know exactly what it means to the people to which it means something.

    But make no mistake, just because it can be devoid of meaning doesn't mean it's not enjoyable or "natural". That's not my point at all. But what is primal and animalistic and instinctually is usually the opposite of meaningful. There is no meaning behind what most animals do. Meaning is a human concept. And so is intent.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] ENFP and INFP relationship
    By Lotr246 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-29-2013, 03:35 PM
  2. [INFJ] infjs and casual sex
    By laudanum225 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 09-15-2010, 08:33 AM
  3. [ENFP] ENFPs and problem solving
    By BlueScreen in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 03-30-2010, 10:11 AM
  4. [ENFP] ENFPs and feeling ... confused, fake, misunderstood, weird....
    By Chloe in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 05-10-2009, 05:00 PM
  5. [ENFP] ENFPs and perception of "well-likedness"
    By autumn in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 61
    Last Post: 10-16-2008, 08:45 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO