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  1. #101
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    True but it's not that negative or literal.
    If we go back to the original context of how this came up, it only has to be negative enough to cause me not to associate it with an actual relationship which is a positive thing to me in general. Since we are talking about my thought process of why I wouldn't have made the leap, I have the luxury of always being right by definition! woot!

  2. #102
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    In reality it makes sense to me...i don't see anything inherently wrong with it in the sense that it goes both ways by the nature of language; the easiest example I can think of is the use of "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend". it makes sense that we'd use it, but the implication is still there. I dunno, this made more sense in my head, haha. i guess I just sort of saw the use of the word "ownership" as a hyperbole.
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  3. #103
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    In reality it makes sense to me...i don't see anything inherently wrong with it in the sense that it goes both ways by the nature of language; the easiest example I can think of is the use of "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend". it makes sense that we'd use it, but the implication is still there. I dunno, this made more sense in my head, haha. i guess I just sort of saw the use of the word "ownership" as a hyperbole.
    Same. The meaning transcended the words to create an attractive offer.
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  4. #104
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    I am going to sound crazy now, I just know it...

    I actually am not a huge fan of "my wife" for the same reason. I had trouble saying it for a long time and even now I prefer to use her fist name when I am talking in person. Online though I can't really go around referring to people by first name since you guys wouldn't know who the heck I am talking about. But on another forum where I have posted for years everyone knows my wife by her first name because I slowly converted to using her real name over time.

  5. #105
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    I am going to sound crazy now, I just know it...

    I actually am not a huge fan of "my wife" for the same reason. I had trouble saying it for a long time and even now I prefer to use her fist name when I am talking in person. Online though I can't really go around referring to people by first name since you guys wouldn't know who the heck I am talking about. But on another forum where I have posted for years everyone knows my wife by her first name because I slowly converted to using her real name over time.
    haha no, i don't think you sound crazy at all! Language has implications, whether we like it or not. I use "partner" when i refer to my, er, male partner in part due to implications of language as they relate to gender. not to say that it's right or wrong to change the use of language, but an awareness of it i think is the more important part.

    On topic, i should also mention that it's not like there's a code that's like "OK i'm definitely getting the sex!", but rather just the start of a process. Like I said, I'll let someone know that i'm seeing other people or am not interested in something serious, but it's just the first step. If someone is not down, then cool, we establish a friendship or whatever. If they are, then it's onto the next step, which is getting to know the person. I don't engage in casual sex immediately; my goal is a friendship + sex without the complications of commitment, so the friendship logically has to come before the sex.

    Honestly, it's not a whole lot different than the dating process. In fact, thinking about it, my views on love lead me to believe that i "stumble" upon it so i guess casual sex in my eyes can be part of the larger dating process. I met my current partner this way; I let him know I was seeing other people, he was fine with it, but the more we hung out, the more I liked him. And compared to the others I was seeing at the time, he stood out (at one point I was texting him during REALLY boring dates). Eventually i came to the realization that i liked him enough to want to take that plunge, so to speak...I guess the order in which i go through this process is a little different in that sex has to come before a relationship if i choose to go that route. If not, i'm cool with just the sex.
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  6. #106
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    I am going to sound crazy now, I just know it...

    I actually am not a huge fan of "my wife"
    Out of context that's a hilarious sequence of words.

    I'm not a fan of possessive people nouns, either. I would never say "my boyfriend" I would say "that guy I'm with" just to be funny. I created some confusion by never calling my girlfriend my girlfriend so people thought we were just regular friends.

    my goal is a friendship + sex without the complications of commitment, so the friendship logically has to come before the sex.
    Ideally, this is my goal as well.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  7. #107
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    I am going to sound crazy now, I just know it...I actually am not a huge fan of "my wife"...
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    Out of context that's a hilarious sequence of words.
    I was thinking the exact same thing. +1
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  8. #108
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    Told you it would sound crazy!

  9. #109
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    Default Closeness?

    Aren't one of the "goals" of us ENFP to want to know a person emotions and sex is another way to know them better and be closer with them; therefore, isn't casual sex just another way to feel closer to someone? Also the whole casual sex vs only relationship difference is basically your opinions about the subject and you shouldn't try to impose it on other people. Also, I am not a virgin so this guy has experience and yes I'm 15 lost it at 14, so don't hate. Before I leave, 2 questions. I dated a girl that hated when I said she was mine. She said she wasn't a property even after I explained what I thought about it she still hated it. So, would/does anyone else hate that you can't call your significant other yours? And last question, I always believed that a girlfriend (or significant other) is a best friend that your attracted to. So why do people marry if they're not that? It seems so illogical and just seems wouldn't feel right emotionally either. Lol true ENFP rambling

  10. #110
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    casual sex has such a negative connotation attached to it. it's a healthy part of any sexual relationship
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