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  1. #91
    Senior Member ubee0173's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    I'm curious, how exactly do you make sure that the other person knows it's casual sex?
    you just.. know. also it helps if they dont know your # or permanent residence
    I will buy you a drink and I'll tell you what I think, and tomorrow, in the morning, I won't be sorry that I didn't sleep.


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  2. #92
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Fuck!
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  3. #93
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    I'm curious, how exactly do you make sure that the other person knows it's casual sex?
    i usually just informed them flat out "i'm seeing other people" and/or
    "i'm not looking for anything serious right now". I was pretty good at slipping it into the conversation so it wasn't as awkward as i think it sounds typed above . it made it obvious, but not explicit. generally if the person was looking for something long-term they didn't stick around.
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  4. #94
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    i usually just informed them flat out "i'm seeing other people" and/or
    "i'm not looking for anything serious right now". I was pretty good at slipping it into the conversation so it wasn't as awkward as i think it sounds typed above . it made it obvious, but not explicit. generally if the person was looking for something long-term they didn't stick around.
    I have one female friend (INTP) who uses the phrase, "Companionship without ownership." Every guy I've asked, immediately got that this meant casual sex. I, of course, missed the thrust (no pun intended) of her comments. So well done indeed.

    I've spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out why I completely missed the portent of "Companionship without ownership" comment. I normally pick up on social cues whether I want to or not.

    Sigh.... Perhaps it's just hard for me to believe anyone would really want just casual sex.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  5. #95
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I've spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out why I completely missed the portent of "Companionship without ownership" comment. I normally pick up on social cues whether I want to or not.
    I would not have understood it and think I know why. "Ownership" does not in any way relate to my personal relationships with anyone, so I would have been completely clueless. I don't own anyone, nor do they own me, so my companionship is always without ownership. The phrase is meaningless.

  6. #96
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    I would not have understood it and think I know why. "Ownership" does not in any way relate to my personal relationships with anyone, so I would have been completely clueless. I don't own anyone, nor do they own me, so my companionship is always without ownership. The phrase is meaningless.
    I think you're taking "own" too negatively and literally.
    I'm stealing the "companionship without ownership" line.

    I'm still figuring out how to lay down the law with people my own age. Asking older female friends would be a great help but I'm embarrassed. All I know is if the other person's understanding of what I want is not agreeable to me, I don't have sex.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  7. #97
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp;
    I think you're taking "own" too negatively and literally.
    I'm stealing the "companionship without ownership" line.

    I'm still figuring out how to lay down the law with people my own age. Asking older female friends would be a great help but I'm embarrassed. All I know is if the other person's understanding of what I want is not agreeable to me, I don't have sex.
    I get what it is going for and I understand that it is not literal, but if I had heard it without already having had it explained to me, I don't think I could have made the leap that ownership is a relationship. It would notnhave crossed my mind. Assuming that companionship equals sex is less of a leap but also not completely obvious to me either,

  8. #98
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    And actually I do kind of think it implies/assumes a negative attitude toward being in a relationship.

  9. #99
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    And actually I do kind of think it implies/assumes a negative attitude toward being in a relationship.
    True but it's not that negative or literal. People who want to be in a relationship but want to remain unattached/not "owned" and "free" are cheating out of the concept of a relationship; there are certain things you cannot do in a relationship. The relationship does influence the actions of the people in it; that's part of the 'ownership", it's not as if you're in a relationship alone- interpersonal demands are made and fulfilled. If someone doesn't want to be bonded or have any of their decisions reliant on others or demands to made, they're much better than 80% of people if they're honest with themselves and the other person by making that known.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  10. #100
    Senior Member tortoise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    True but it's not that negative or literal. People who want to be in a relationship but want to remain unattached/not "owned" and "free" are cheating out of the concept of a relationship; there are certain things you cannot do in a relationship. The relationship does influence the actions of the people in it; that's part of the 'ownership", it's not as if you're in a relationship alone- interpersonal demands are made and fulfilled. If someone doesn't want to be bonded or have any of their decisions reliant on others or demands to made, they're much better than 80% of people if they're honest with themselves and the other person by making that known.
    In a relationship you are sacrificing some freedom in return for greater emotional security -- knowing that someone's there for you. In theory anyway.

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