[ENFP] ENFPs post breakup

[HotpinkHeatwave]

ENFPs, how long has it taken you to get over a significant other in the past?

Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again? Are you still friends with your exes?

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop?

First boyfriend? I loved him. Took me a VERY long time to get over him completely. Almost a year?

Second boyfriend? Didn't work. Took me about a week?

Third: Really liked him, but he was an ass. Took me about a week, too.

Fourth? Over him before we even broke up.

The list goes on.

While still getting over my first boyfriend, there were a few guys that were quite interested in me. I didn't even care. I was still attached to my first boyfriend, yes.

I honestly have asked myself if I could ever feel what I felt with my first boyfriend again. I personally once you fall really hard, and the breakup is devastating, it will be hard for you to love again. Deep down in your brain, you're afraid of that devastating breakup.

I do NOT let myself fall easily anymore. I'm extremely cautious. I am not friends with any of my ex's (Which is probably a good thing).

Yup.

 

[Moiety]

Chances are, you'll always have feelings for this person. Even when you find someone you love, it won't be the same. Not worse, but different. Just got to stay strong and realize you're going to face this shit you're whole life.

That is a scary thought.

How can someone move on and date other people when subconsciously one still has feelings for another person? How can one ever truly commit to someone else if an ex is still occupying one's heart? How can someone ever become our new most important person in the world this way?.

This is why I've always been weary of dating. I value true love. Once you've experienced that, how can you ever experience it again. Our hearts don't just "forget".

And I certainly don't think it is anyone else's responsibility to deal with this kind of past shit when they are in a relationship with me. What, I'm gonna marry someone and have kids someday and still think what could have been with another person? Fuck that.

 

[SecondBest]

This is why I never allow myself to start a relationship with someone until I have completely let go of the one before. It doesn't mean you stop loving them, as the case may be. But you must let go. Doing anything to the contrary is dishonest and unfair to the next person. I've made the mistake once and I still have trouble forgiving myself for it.

 

[Bamboo]

What, I'm gonna marry someone and have kids someday and still think what could have been with another person? Fuck that.

Life is about choices.

Make good ones...

 

[Bamboo]

Read this, it's pretty well written for a wiki article:

Opportunity Cost

Economics isn't just about money, it's the study of how people make choices to balance scarcity with their unlimited desires.

I think you'll be able to figure out why I'm posting this. What are the three bold items for you?

 

[angell_m]

Are you still friends with your exes?
I only ended up flirting with them or having awkward conversations.

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop?
Basically I kinda cheated because..blah blah blah. Somehow he found out.. Damn INTJs.. and dumped me without letting me say I was sorry or anything. Of course, I could have kept calling him in the following weeks or something, but I didn't wanna be his "puppy dog" anymore. I was done with begging for him & it's not fair... blah blah blah.

doesn't matter how much you rationalize it, i still want to throw angry rants in your direction and make you feel bad (i don't know the whole story, but cheating touch my values so much it wouldn't matter what your story was. i say once a cheater, always a cheater). i wouldn't even consider a girl that had cheated in the past. in fact thinking about it makes me want to throw up. even that part about flirting with ex's don't seem right in my book.

 

[VanillaCat]

doesn't matter how much you rationalize it, i still want to throw angry rants in your direction and make you feel bad (i don't know the whole story, but cheating touch my values so much it wouldn't matter what your story was. i say once a cheater, always a cheater). i wouldn't even consider a girl that had cheated in the past. in fact thinking about it makes me want to throw up. even that part about flirting with ex's don't seem right in my book.

Well I couldn't really help flirting with my exes. If I liked them before, I can like them again.. That's why I no longer talk to my exes.

& About the "cheating" thing.. I just realized we weren't even going out at the time. It's hard to keep track after someone breaks up with you on and off for 5 years I told him I had to "think about" going out with him because of how he had treated me. But it was also because I was already with someone else who he didn't know about. I wasn't sure who to choose. Once he found out I was with someone else, he stopped talking to me. So it's not really cheating but I guess it's more keeping something secret. It's not as bad as I made it sound.

 

[cheerchick23]

How long it takes to get over it depends on who ends it, how, and why.

 

[kyuuei]

ENFPs, how long has it taken you to get over a significant other in the past?

Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again? Are you still friends with your exes?

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop?

I'd say it depends on the relationship. First, it took me a year to recover. Second, over and done with that day. third, still not over it. Fourth, over it before we broke up. Same with the fifth. Sixth, was a bit harsh in the short term, but I was okay with it after a while. I'm still not over the one relationship entirely.. Everytime I break up with someone, I default back to it. I am friends with most of my exes, but my first SO still has my heart somehow.

And yes. I didn't date again until I felt strong enough to do so, and even then I still felt vulnerable and crappy about the whole thing. I'm overly cautious and guarded now.

 

[mmhmm]

i get over it pretty quickly.
7 year relationship ended,
by the end of the month
i was in another relationship.

i just miss them for a long, long time.