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  1. #21
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    On my cigarette break a sweet 80 year old lady came up to me trying to sell beautiful shrubs for .45 cents each . She was so frail and sweet, it broke my heart...I teared up on the spot. Shes probabley trying to make extra money for her meds or food :*(.

    Im way to sensitive, being a "feeler" gets me really down sometimes, but theres the flip side where my heart can be filled with so much joy even over small things...like butterflys fluttering around on a sunny day.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  2. #22
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emectar View Post
    if its any comfort, when i hear about earth quakes on tv, i rarely feel that much compassion. I feel bad about it but not serious pain, though that might be because i primarily use Fi.

    You sound sort of guilty about it which isnt fair to yourself, (if you are that is, i might be misreading). The world needs both types, and i think feeling nothing when by a quiet beautiful beach doesnt mean your a bad person or something. Nature doesnt make me weep too often either. I can visually appreciate a nice view but its rarely something that comes with emotions as well.
    I never feel guilty about what I feel, just (sometimes) about what I do or don't do. I find it a waste of energy to get emotionally worked up about something I can't do anything about. I concentrate on helping in situations where I actually can contribute.

  3. #23
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by guesswho View Post
    What is it like to be a feeler? I always wondered. To be primary Fe/Fi. Is it like the world vibrates somewhere inside of you... or I don't know.
    It feels alive
    It's got vibrant colours, which overstimulate to the point of pain at times, but way preferable to when it's numb and dull..that makes me feel dead inside..no point in living.

    If you see like an earthquake on TV with people who need help you feel empathy compassion ..stuff like that? Because I don't really feel a thing.

    When I hear about it, I don't feel it, I can distance myself. But yes, visual imagery is hard to ignore, and I can physically feel my heart cringe..I feel physical sensations at that point.

    Or if a friend is in pain...I don't really feel anything either. I just try to improve things, but I don't really feel his pain.

    I remember when I was on the seaside watching the sun from a remote place on the beach ...there weren't many people there...just the wind ..the sound of the sea...and the view. And I didn't really feel a thing. It was frustrating. I was just thinking about some random thing in my head.
    I don't feel much.

    I feel something strong only if it's related to me.

    How do you feel everything?
    I do feel it when a friend is in pain..even more so the closer a friend they are and the closer physically they are. Touching someone intensifies that feeling tenfold still.

    As for the sunset or rise...I have to be in the mood. It requires being attuned to hte moment to notice it. It's just the sheer beauty of it that washes over you. You just stand still and gaze at the multitude of colours mixing, causing such beautiful shapes and shades to take place. The water washing upon the shore is a sound that causes a certain trance, as the beauty of the sunrise does, as it's regular, it's calming and it's serene..predictable, simple, elegant..almost like breathing in a way. Beautiful in its simplicity...just listening to that can calm your spirits and empty your head, which in turn induces a sense of peace.

    Personally, I do think that everyone can experience this...but for some it's just buried deeper than others

    I've found that when I sorta suit up to face the outside world coz I have to get shit done, or when I'm trying to figure out a logical puzzle..I'm way less prone to noticing these things. I have walls up, walls that allow me to do my job without getting distracted and making fatal mistakes (Ti) or walls that defend me agains the obstacles that I'm to face to get to my goal (Te).


    I've also found that I refuse to have such a strong veneer on as it cuts my communications with other people in half. It reduces my radar on them. And I hate flying blind like that. It however also leaves me open to the risks of overstimulation and pain from sources that sorta require shields.

    It is however possible, ime, to learn not only how to turn on and off the shields (which is the easiest part once you get over the fear, but also the least practical), it's possible to dim and strengthen the shields as you gain control over that aspect, in order to adjust to the situation in front of you

    After a while, I learned to put a veneer on my sensitivity to dampen the first blow without making myself completely blind to what's going on and missing out on all the beautiful stuff out there.

    Just my two cents.
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  4. #24
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by guesswho View Post
    Wow.

    Is this your general attitude or is it just an internet thing?

    Did I say I don't have emotions? I said I wasn't empathic.
    you can be a thinker and be empathetic, just less likely to be. I was saying thinking and feeling in MBTI terms don't have to do with actual emotions.

  5. #25
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    It is however possible, ime, to learn not only how to turn on and off the shields (which is the easiest part once you get over the fear, but also the least practical), it's possible to dim and strengthen the shields as you gain control over that aspect, in order to adjust to the situation in front of you
    How do you do this? Is it a conscious process that you can explain to someone, or just something you do automatically? How difficult do you think it would be for T's to learn to do this? Or do we have some different but analogous process that accomplishes the same thing?

  6. #26
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    I'm not moved by sunsets, either.

    I guess I'm a thinker.

    Okay, no, but seriously. Things like poverty and social injustices really get me worked up and make me feel extremely empathetic. If that's really a feeling quality...Because I've known a few thinkers who also get very worked up about those kind of things.

  7. #27
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    How do you do this? Is it a conscious process that you can explain to someone, or just something you do automatically? How difficult do you think it would be for T's to learn to do this? Or do we have some different but analogous process that accomplishes the same thing?
    It's...a frustrating process, I found

    It's like learning how to control a muscle, like learning any real new thing. First you jerk and spasm and don't know how to regulate the strength..after a whlie it becomes second nature

    I did have to do it very consciously at first, and it would drain me to constantly have to think about it, so I couldn't keep it up long. I however had the benefit of being reminded of doing so..repeatedly, as my values don't allow me to close up to people, but the repeated pain from being that open and vulnerable, as well as the drama that ensued kinda forced me to find the appropriate 'layer'. I'm still finetuning really.


    I think a T can learn this just fine, it's just a question of...I dunno, how important is it to you? I think many T's are just fine with having those walls up and not feeling. So what is going to remind you to lower those shields? I also think that if and when you lower them, you feel hugely uncomfortable so to keep being motivated to be that uncomfortable....it's a challenge

    I think the best way to compare it is to when you're in love and almost instinctively lower your guard (though some high T's I know won't even do it then). You open up to the person and want to know how they feel, want to be in sync with them, want to know how they feel about you, you wanna also tend to their need, have an urge to be thoughtful of them...that's pretty much what it's like, without the raging hormones


    I guess you could best practise it with an evocative piece of art, instaed of a person as it's safer. Anything that automatically already moves you a little..a movie (bambi for all I care ), a beautiful painting, a particular piece of music, anything really that inspires beauty. And not coz you admire the skill or technique behind it, but the actual experience it gives you, the actual *feeling* it is trying to evoke in you. Meditate on that piece, and allow yourself to just feel. And enjoy it. Some pieces can induce such serene bliss that you just wanna stay there forever...others are incredible for invoking intense feelings, be they nostalgia, sadness, joy or pain. Each is beautiful in their own way. And the same is true for people
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    On my cigarette break a sweet 80 year old lady came up to me trying to sell beautiful shrubs for .45 cents each . She was so frail and sweet, it broke my heart...I teared up on the spot. Shes probabley trying to make extra money for her meds or food :*(.

    Im way to sensitive, being a "feeler" gets me really down sometimes, but theres the flip side where my heart can be filled with so much joy even over small things...like butterflys fluttering around on a sunny day.
    I can relate to this. Old people, people in wheelchairs or walking with canes or with a limp always get to me.

  9. #29
    Senior Member guesswho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    I'm not moved by sunsets, either.

    I guess I'm a thinker.

    Okay, no, but seriously. Things like poverty and social injustices really get me worked up and make me feel extremely empathetic. If that's really a feeling quality...Because I've known a few thinkers who also get very worked up about those kind of things.
    I feel only for what I care about. That's my conclusion. Or it's the other way around. I care only for what I feel something positive about.
    I too get started up on poverty and injustice, but I love in a poor and corrupt country..so it's kinda hard not to do that.

    I remember I was watching tv with my mom when I was little, and there was a war in Yugoslavia, and it was a big mess there...people hurt. I did care for them but...my mom was all anxious and nearly crying and praying to god for the war to stop. And I was just thinking the tanks were cool.

    I never feel the way she feels about things. She's introverted and sensitive to suffering, I am more likely to look for the cause of the suffering and a solution. There's this big contrast between me and her.

    I guess this is what made me start this silly topic, I assumed something that is only partially true to be entirely true.

    Because compared to her I feel very little.

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