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  1. #31
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    It's hard for NFJs not to see this as disrespect or mere individualism, especially if they are personally involved and are not informed at all. If it's a personal decision that has no impact on other people, that's none of my business.
    I've had Fi users (the ones I have in mind were ESFP, an ENTJ and ESTJ) taking decisions about my life or things I was very involved with, and making things happen without talking to me at all, not even seeing the relevance of asking what I thought about it.
    The ENTJ even scolded me for half an hour when I asked why I hadn't been informed about one situation. (He came with a flower bouquet a few days later and apologized to me, though).

    I've never had NFPs hurting me in that way, though.


    I would not do that at all. I think I put other people first when it comes to decisions (it's gets a little overwhelming having to think of it too much though.. I'm not sure what my threshold is). Truth to be told, I don't have that much professional experience with it though.. so I'd just say that I don't do it with friends. I think you're seeing more Te there than Fi. I have an ESTJ friend like that, but in a way, I don't mind.. he's on top of things I don't want to be top of in the first place (same with my dad.. and some others).

  2. #32
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    .... in Fi NFs, Ne is what makes them helpful and compassionate (open-mindedness and respect) while Fe will take part in it for NFJs.
    I agree with this.
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  3. #33
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I would not do that at all. I think I put other people first when it comes to decisions (it's gets a little overwhelming having to think of it too much though.. I'm not sure what my threshold is). Truth to be told, I don't have that much professional experience with it though.. so I'd just say that I don't do it with friends. I think you're seeing more Te there than Fi. I have an ESTJ friend like that, but in a way, I don't mind.. he's on top of things I don't want to be top of in the first place (same with my dad.. and some others).
    Yes, ETJs have Fi as their weakest function; it is poorly developed in them, and turned inwards. So you can expect those things to happen. But man, do they get things done.
    The ESFP did it on many occasions, though. It was never hurtful, but clearly unconsiderate. She doesn't like to discuss with others when she is planning something.

    Basically, I think it works this way:

    Fi users' sense of self lies with this function. They are individualistic and need to have an identity of their own. If you try to impose protocol, you are keeping them from being themselves and making them like everyone else. Fe can be a threat to their identity, so they tend to dislike it.

    Fe users find their identity in belonging to a group, a person, a family, a nation, a faith, etc.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    When I was young kids used to make fun of me for being Asian, it hurt me alot . From then on I always cared about other peoples feelings... I always tried to put myself in other peoples shoes because I knew how it felt to feel hurt and sad.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  5. #35
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I have some of the same experiences, Sparrow. I'll never forget this one. Some kids ramming their bikes into me and calling me a "Slanted eyed rice cooker". Where do kids even learn that?

    I feel like I'm an overly feisty introvert at times though. That one set me off. Not diplomatic! I still have a slightly weird pinky nail for hitting one on top of his head too hard (I was 7 or something.. I'm 33 now).

  6. #36
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    When I was young kids used to make fun of me for being Asian, it hurt me alot . From then on I always cared about other peoples feelings... I always tried to put myself in other peoples shoes because I knew how it felt to feel hurt and sad.
    I also feel that being mocked or hurt myself played a big role in learning kindness and compassion. It is probably also linked to the fact that NFs are hypersensitive. They remember when their feelings were hurt and they don't do it to others.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Lets hug it out guys ! xoxox
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  8. #38
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    Lets hug it out guys ! xoxox

  9. #39
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I think the thing that stands out the most is when I tried to befriend this kid who was a burn victim.. It seemed like a lot of other kids didn't know what to do. His scars were pretty noticable, and I guess it scared them. After school, we went to my house and were playing with some toy cars out front.. and my mom came out, and freaked (It's embarassing to admit that about my mom). She was partly upset at something else, but she chased him away I must've only been 8 or 9 and flipped out on her and tried to make her feel ashamed about it. I don't know where that came from.. I wasn't scared of her. She was mostly good, but I knew she was wrong then.
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  10. #40
    Glycerine
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    Probably trying to figure out ways to stay out of trouble. Also, my mother has uber strong Fe as an INFP (off the charts F) and my dad is ESFJ but we still don't understand each other at all.

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