I had Fe role models - my ISFJ mom & ESFJ grandma. What I didn't have was a good Fi role model. This left me feeling like I was always WRONG. I tended to guard and celebrate my individuality. My childhood motivations were not of the diplomatic nature. It was more about finding some outlet for my feelings, some way to replicate my ideals in reality, etc.
I was a rather angsty, moody teen, but there were some signs of diplomacy starting to appear, especially with friends (much moreso than family). I think I had to go this full circle of rejecting what I saw as phony Fe at the time and then evaluating my own sense of what is good/bad to accept some of those Fe standards of dealing with people. I had to make it authentic for myself & fit it into my internal value system.