That's been the general consensus I guess...it's all just very confusing because he's never done anything else wrong, and we've been together for over a year and half now. I feel like it would be going against what he...deserves?
He's not the one who came out and told you that he cheated. A friend sent you a text message. How do you know he hasn't cheated on you with other women that your friends are completely unaware of?
Originally Posted by fidelia
You teach people how to treat you. He's shown you the ultimate disrespect and life has gone on as usual. That tells him that you'll take whatever comes your way.
You should pamper him one day, get him all aroused, then leave him hanging and never come back.
People never know what the best thing to do is. If they saw you happy with him, how horrible to be the one to burst your bubble, and for what, because he does seem to care for you, right? if you do a poll "would you tell/wouldn't you tell" equally well-intentioned people will answer differently and give good reasons.
Agreed. I think it'd be worth asking her friends why they didn't tell her. They may have genuinely meant well enough. For example, I'm a pretty damn loyal friend, but in that situation there's a 75% chance I keep my mouth shut.
If you stay in a relationship with a cheater, the fact that he is untrustworthy will gnaw on you deep down inside forever. It is like an ulcer that never heals. For INFJs trust is a key issue in any relationship. Once somebody deals a huge blow to it like sleeping with somebody else behind your back, our trust just doesn't recoil with same strength and relationship remains damaged for a long, long time. On surface you might tell yourself that you have forgiven him, that everything is fine now, that it was in the past, that he is so nice and charming with you now, but deep down inside you will always remember this incident. Come any future offenses from him, the memory will surface up and you will say "I told myself so and it was stupid to stay".
This is not to mention that I think cheaters should be made to suffer consequences of their behavior. Not out of hatred and malice of the victim but simply because otherwise they will morally degrade, start thinking that is wasn't such a big deal after all. This makes them more likely to cheat again in the future and likely to hurt more people if they aren't made to go through the negative consequences of their behavior.