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  1. #11
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freeeekyyy View Post
    I guess I haven't really given enough detail here, have I? Anyway, her moving down with me is not an option, for multiple, not entirely relevant reasons. As far as how long I'm gone, it could be anywhere from 6 months to 3 years, depending on how things go. I'm trying to get a decent job right now, if that doesn't happen I'm probably going to be joining the army, in which case I would be gone for a minimum of 2 years. She knows this, and has accepted the possibility, at least she tells me she has. I have made one trip back since I moved, and she wasn't available to meet at the time, but said she would have liked to.

    I'll most likely be heading back this weekend. I think I might just have to surprise her...

    if this were me, I'd be acting in this manner because it'd be a side effect of me trying to forget how much this situation sucks when stuff like this happens i try to keep myself really busy so i can be distracted and stay productive, otherwise it's like skylights said, i'll sit around in my own little world and be sad and won't get anything done except feel awful. This kind of situation can be very emotionally painful and i'd guess the way she's acting somehow stems from this.

    It seems like I'm kind of stuck here. I want her to understand that I love her, more than anything, but I can't get past the fact that I need money. I have debts and obligations which need to be taken care of.
    we definitely speak the language of "this is how i FEEL" so let her know that the lack of contact hurts your feelings and see what she has to say. Sometimes ya'll are just so self-sufficient it's easy, for me at least, to think that letting you do that is what's best so she might not even realize that it's hurting you, especially if she's very hurt herself. i don't know, but either way you should definitely communicate this to her and have a dialogue about it, if you haven't.

    like satine said i wouldn't worry about it, that flame definitely sticks around. and YES if she likes surprises then definitely go surprise her if you go home and visit
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  2. #12
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Thanks for the help, Satine! And GemPOPGem, and pinballs, and skylights! I'm thinking what I'm going to do is when I arrive this weekend, catch her totally off guard, when she's not expecting me at all, and bring her a gift, maybe a drawing or a card or something, she really loves that stuff. I'll make it very clear to her that I still love her very much, and that I haven't forgotten her. And then I guess I'll just see where it goes from there...

    Thanks for your help too, stringstheory. Yes, I have told her that. I've tried to put it in her terms as much as possible, but that only seems to go so far. I guess I'll just have to wait it out, and see how things go.
    You lose.

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  3. #13
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freeeekyyy View Post
    Thanks for the help, Satine! And GemPOPGem, and pinballs, and skylights! I'm thinking what I'm going to do is when I arrive this weekend, catch her totally off guard, when she's not expecting me at all, and bring her a gift, maybe a drawing or a card or something, she really loves that stuff. I'll make it very clear to her that I still love her very much, and that I haven't forgotten her. And then I guess I'll just see where it goes from there...

    Thanks for your help too, stringstheory. Yes, I have told her that. I've tried to put it in her terms as much as possible, but that only seems to go so far. I guess I'll just have to wait it out, and see how things go.
    Thats great! Let us know how it goes.

    P.s if your old enough for love your old enough for a relationship... not marrige and kids but, you know, a relationship is really ok at 21 & 24 .
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  4. #14
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freeeekyyy View Post
    Thanks for your help too, stringstheory. Yes, I have told her that. I've tried to put it in her terms as much as possible, but that only seems to go so far. I guess I'll just have to wait it out, and see how things go.
    no problem; that's unfortunate and i'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes if it really hurts Fi can get a little selfish..in this case it's us, not you i hope your visit goes well!^^
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  5. #15
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    So a little bit of an update. The girl being discussed in this topic is now out of my life, basically. I saw her a couple days ago, and she told me that she thought we should not remain in communication with each other, and that it was time for us to go our separate ways. She claims she still loves me, but that with our situations being what they are, that it's best for us to part. It really sucks. I wish there were some way I could change her mind, but I know it's not possible. I don't know if I'll ever see her again, but if I do, I'm not giving up.
    You lose.

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  6. #16
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Seeing as I've been away for a while, I guess this puts me in the perfect situation to be the douche.

    As cruel as it may seem, it's easy for ENFP's to love the ones who are close to them first and foremost. Therefore when you move away, it's hard for an ENFP to keep up that same level of friendliness. Visit often, I think that's the best way.

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