if this were me, I'd be acting in this manner because it'd be a side effect of me trying to forget how much this situation sucks when stuff like this happens i try to keep myself really busy so i can be distracted and stay productive, otherwise it's like skylights said, i'll sit around in my own little world and be sad and won't get anything done except feel awful. This kind of situation can be very emotionally painful and i'd guess the way she's acting somehow stems from this.
we definitely speak the language of "this is how i FEEL" so let her know that the lack of contact hurts your feelings and see what she has to say. Sometimes ya'll are just so self-sufficient it's easy, for me at least, to think that letting you do that is what's best so she might not even realize that it's hurting you, especially if she's very hurt herself. i don't know, but either way you should definitely communicate this to her and have a dialogue about it, if you haven't.It seems like I'm kind of stuck here. I want her to understand that I love her, more than anything, but I can't get past the fact that I need money. I have debts and obligations which need to be taken care of.
like satine said i wouldn't worry about it, that flame definitely sticks around. and YES if she likes surprises then definitely go surprise her if you go home and visit