INF's are famous for feeling emotions very, very, very deeply, but being extremely guarded when it comes to expressing them, or revealing their dark side.
Today, I was talking with my friend when I brought up the point that I ended up in psychotherapy twice before I turned twelve. Immediately after saying that, I realized I shouldn't have and clammed up. But, she soon asks "Why?!"
I sort of did that awkward giggle and said "You don't want to know!" Hoping she would get the hint that that REALLY meant "I don't want to talk about it. I shouldn't have brought it up. Leave me alone!"
She replies: "Actually I do. That's WHY I asked!"
So I told her. And after I did. I immediately felt like I may as well be standing naked in front of her. It sounds odd, but I feel like our friendship can't ever be the same again. I fear she'll no longer think of me as fun, quirky and eccentric Jenny, but rather creepy, dark and unstable Jenny.
Weather or not she is still even thinking about this is beyond me. But, I feel like all the walls have been torn down and she now knows that I do, in fact, have a dark side. I hate this vulnerable feeling.
Also, I usually refrain from letting anyone read my poetry or creative writing things, not because they're bad, but because I don't want them to know what I'm really feeling.
I don't know, I guess that's all I have to say for now.
Comments? Questions? Relate? Can't relate? Exclamations? Complaints?
Throw 'em here.