[ENFP] Ask an ENFP

[You]

A girl will say something to me that'll have me thinking for the next year about what that means about who she is, why she thought that, and the story behind that statement. I don't know about other ENFPs, but I try to find the whole story behind everything, and get a look of the picture from afar, which is why I believe ENFP often have this vacant, dreamy look, because the cognitive functions line up for us to connect dots like some map of the world's freeways, and fly routes.

 

[Amargith]

Are NFs (and specifically ENFPs) spiritual people? Do they see deeper meanings behind everything?
I guess ENTPs see deeper structures, not meanings...

I am . And I see deeper meaning in just about everything that comes to mind.

 

[Betty Blue]

I have a question for my ENFP bretheren and sistren.
What spurs you into action?
Are you spontaneous?
I keep picking up on opinion that ENFP's are not so action orientated but i personally feel otherwise.
If i believe in something, if i feel it i can act in the spur of the moment.
E.g i see a group of kids hassling another, pushing him/her around and it looks out of control... i don't think and theorize, i go over and sort it out.
second example...
I get a phone call, friends are going for a weekend away with their kids, i have 10 minutes to pack if i want to go and it sounds very exciting-the kids will also love it. Circumstances permitting, i grab a few things (not forgetting my own kids haha) and head off-just like that
Third example.....
There are some problems with the school, lots of children are unhappy and parents are complaining to each other in the playground, if it is something i feel strongly about i don't just stand around complaining, i get a few parents together, discuss it, and get one of the parents to write a letter from the group expressing the problems and how we think we may solve them to the head.

Anyone else like this, i find it hard to believe that all ENFP's would just theorize and not act, esp on things they believe in.

 

[KDude]

^Even I can be like that.. Not an ENFP though. I think.

Also, I don't have kids, so I'm not quite as busy as you...But I can relate on the weekend outings. If someone tells me they're going to the lake or something, sometimes I just go. I need to be more prepared though.. I never have fancy stuff like cots and my own tent. And when we get there, I'm not much of an extrovert. I might just jump off the boat and float off quietly on my own a bit, listening to the party, but not quite as social or into the same subjects. Sometimes I just might leave the next morning and got enough from it.

I'll respond or try to change something if someone's being wronged or something's being done in bad taste. I wonder if Se is necessarily action oriented so much as just present oriented (which, by definition, makes them action oriented, but still..). I think an NF would eventually spark themselves into action simply because of strong beliefs. Maybe it's not the best description when it's said that Ne sees "possibilities", because that can also mean seeing need for change...not just possibilities in terms of playing with ideas and theorizing.

 

[alcea rosea]

I have a question for my ENFP bretheren and sistren.
What spurs you into action?
Are you spontaneous?
I keep picking up on opinion that ENFP's are not so action orientated but i personally feel otherwise.
If i believe in something, if i feel it i can act in the spur of the moment.
E.g i see a group of kids hassling another, pushing him/her around and it looks out of control... i don't think and theorize, i go over and sort it out.
second example...
I get a phone call, friends are going for a weekend away with their kids, i have 10 minutes to pack if i want to go and it sounds very exciting-the kids will also love it. Circumstances permitting, i grab a few things (not forgetting my own kids haha) and head off-just like that
Third example.....
There are some problems with the school, lots of children are unhappy and parents are complaining to each other in the playground, if it is something i feel strongly about i don't just stand around complaining, i get a few parents together, discuss it, and get one of the parents to write a letter from the group expressing the problems and how we think we may solve them to the head.

Anyone else like this, i find it hard to believe that all ENFP's would just theorize and not act, esp on things they believe in.

I was more action oriented when younger, these days I'm just lazy. But if somebody is bullied or I see great wrong happening, I'll act immediately. I have ability to act NOW but these days I choose not to most of time (=laziness).

 

[animenagai]

Are NFs (and specifically ENFPs) spiritual people? Do they see deeper meanings behind everything?
I guess ENTPs see deeper structures, not meanings...

I see meanings behind everything but not in a spiritual/religious sense. Say I see an ad on the subway with some good looking model with some fragrance or something, I'll like to think about what kind of things they're appealing to, what kind of word play is there (intentional or not). This just an example. I should really give you more, but my Ne/lack of Te is kicking in right now and I really can't be stuffed . Maybe later.

 

[Nameless Hero]

I am thinking that I am an ENFP - and I must state that T(e) must be engaged by the auxiliary F(i) for an ENFP to make much use of it. If we use our dominate N(e) to nudge the T(e) all we will get is a new concept that will spiral around our heads. T(e) is not about new concepts. It is about organization. We must organize guided by a sense of self control, not spontaneity.

 

[skylights]

I have a question for my ENFP bretheren and sistren.
What spurs you into action?
Are you spontaneous?
I keep picking up on opinion that ENFP's are not so action orientated but i personally feel otherwise.
If i believe in something, if i feel it i can act in the spur of the moment.
[...] Anyone else like this, i find it hard to believe that all ENFP's would just theorize and not act, esp on things they believe in.

sistren

i think it depends what we're talking about. i'm very spontaneous if i have my mind made up about something. if my best friend says hey, let's go to the beach this weekend, i'll be ready to go in 20 minutes. probably faster than her

i also tend to act in situations where there is injustice and no one is making headway. like you said, esp on things they believe in.

plus i tend to firestart in general. i LOVE to plan trips and often initiate group gatherings, but i don't really like being in charge all the time either. more like i prefer to firestart and then run with the flow. and i'm not so much one to lead a longterm effort, either.

i flit between activity and reflection...

 

[kyuuei]

I'm extremely action oriented. Sometimes I make plans a bit too big for even my plate.. but generally, when I say I aim to do something, I try my best to actually go through with it. One of the things I don't like to be is a flake.. so I won't announce an action unless I intend on doing it for real.

Besides self-motivated goals.. seeing someone else struggling will spur me into action to help them. I don't even think twice. The bystander effect isn't so strong with me I suppose. and anything that sounds fun, or something that sounds challenging or interesting, will spur me immediately into action.

 

[skylights]

DEAR ENFPs:

how do you make (good) decisions?

love,
indecisive ENFP


bonus question -- depression remedies?
(because i suspect this is more existential than chemical)

 

[marthella.minne]

would you consider damon salvatore (from the vampire diaries) or tony stark (iron man) an ENFP?
if not, what would you consider them?

 

[marthella.minne]

oh, and are ENFPs generally rebellious? can they be 'dark'

 

[animenagai]

oh, and are ENFPs generally rebellious? can they be 'dark'

What do you mean by dark? Are we rebellious? Not really I don't think. We can have our own beliefs that we stick to no matter who disagrees with us, but we don't do it as a way to rebel. We in general, do not like genuine conflict. We can be very dark with our thoughts, much like every NF. Not so if it is linked with rebellion though.

 

[99tinkerbells]

enfp relationship question

Ms. enfps,

long term relationship -14years- with 3 children and each in full time jobs.

i'm tired of settling in for "good enough" when i feel we could be better than best, especially now that the children are a bit older, less dependent. but my enfp wife is happy and content in this place, pleased to keep the same patterns of relating and living.

what can i do? if energy follows intention, how do i get us to intention?

mr. infp

 

[pinkgraffiti]

mmm is that so? i have 'rebellious' running through my veins. i analyse every rule and if it is imoral according to my belief system and not a result of a genuine need but the result of a conservative approach to things, i will stand by my principles and defend my truths and even try to convince people around me to see the truth and start a change. talk about a rebel

What do you mean by dark? Are we rebellious? Not really I don't think. We can have our own beliefs that we stick to no matter who disagrees with us, but we don't do it as a way to rebel. We in general, do not like genuine conflict. We can be very dark with our thoughts, much like every NF. Not so if it is linked with rebellion though.

 

[Starry]

Ms. enfps,

long term relationship -14years- with 3 children and each in full time jobs.

i'm tired of settling in for "good enough" when i feel we could be better than best, especially now that the children are a bit older, less dependent. but my enfp wife is happy and content in this place, pleased to keep the same patterns of relating and living.

what can i do? if energy follows intention, how do i get us to intention?

mr. infp

I kinda feel bad. Did this poor guy, 99tinkerbells...come on here and no one answered his ENFP question?
I will try to take a stab at it.
If your ENFP is happy & content...good luck getting her to work towards best. OMG that wasn't helpful!

No, no...you will just need to convince her that doing the work will be to her benefit. Share your vision of the future with her. Get her excited about whatever your ideal relationship looks like.

Anyway...hope you are well...although I don't think you will ever see this message

 

[Emectar]

oh, and are ENFPs generally rebellious? can they be 'dark'

I think ENFPs are generally rebellious in that they do their best to not follow any rules they find pointless or too controlling.

And we ENFPs can be dark. Fi is a very dramatic function, but for whatever reason type descriptions seem to focus on our light fluffy side that we take on when delighted. But when i'm feeling sad or disillusioned i can spend long dark periods trapped in my head. All of my ENFP friends do this every once in a while.

 

[stalemate]

Got any big plans tonight?

 

[stalemate]

Got any big plans tonight?

Going to watch Water For Elephants with the wife.

 

[kyuuei]

would you consider damon salvatore (from the vampire diaries) or tony stark (iron man) an ENFP?
if not, what would you consider them?

Never saw VDs, but Iron man is NOT ENFP at all. I could see ExTP though.

oh, and are ENFPs generally rebellious? can they be 'dark'

Many ENFPs have proclaimed being "dark" on the forum here, it isn't a far stretch to make that statement. It seems they've all claimed some sort of dislike for being boxed in with rules and such.. I'm probably one of the least rebellious ENFPs here and I still find myself being quite rebellious at times just for the sake of being so. I think that's just the child-like mentality that will never leave us.

Ms. enfps,

long term relationship -14years- with 3 children and each in full time jobs.

i'm tired of settling in for "good enough" when i feel we could be better than best, especially now that the children are a bit older, less dependent. but my enfp wife is happy and content in this place, pleased to keep the same patterns of relating and living.

what can i do? if energy follows intention, how do i get us to intention?

mr. infp

It can be hard to change my schedule. People in general get comfortable with certain things.. when I've been in the house too much, I find it hard to leave the house. When I leave the house all the time, I feel boxed in at the very same house. Schedule and rhythm make us feel more adult like and keep us on track.. breaking that up means some effort on our part, which can make people nervous.

If it were me, I'd say "You know. I want to go do x..." talk about it for a while. Get into it verbally, and give plenty of cues that that is the road you want to head down. This helps prep ENFP with communication cues all over the place. Eventually, start making motions towards that. If she likes it and it starts sounding exciting, and real, instead of just words, she may be more apt to jump on board and dive in.

Got any big plans tonight?

Going to watch Water For Elephants with the wife.

Hanging out with a buddy.. ignoring the remnants of being sick. Probably playing SC2. Easy night for me too.