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Thread: Ask an ENFP

  1. #321
    Senior Member oneandonly's Avatar
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    Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??

  2. #322
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneandonly View Post
    Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??
    Absolutely. The hard part is trusting that the ENFP knows enough about themselves to tell the truth about it.
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  3. #323
    Senior Member oneandonly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Absolutely. The hard part is trusting that the ENFP knows enough about themselves to tell the truth about it.
    Those 2 things seem incongruent. Is there a propensity to lie about transgressions? if they occur?

  4. #324
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneandonly View Post
    Those 2 things seem incongruent. Is there a propensity to lie about transgressions? if they occur?
    I meant for the ENFP to understand enough about themselves to be able to truthfully say that they are committed to you. This isn't so much about lying, but about hoping for something that may be beyond them and their personal experience.

    As far as cheating and lying, well, that isn't about types that's about cheaters and liars. Are you two on the same page? Does he explicitly know that you expect exclusivity?

  5. #325
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneandonly View Post
    Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??
    Yes. We're a hopeful bunch which is what qlip is alluding to I think. We can fall into idealization and then get hit with the less rosy truth like a ton of bricks. But I think we're also very sensitive to the health of the relationship and happiness of our partner, and most ENFPs I know are often the first to bring issues up and try to find a win-win solution.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
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  6. #326
    Senior Member oneandonly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I meant for the ENFP to understand enough about themselves to be able to truthfully say that they are committed to you. This isn't so much about lying, but about hoping for something that may be beyond them and their personal experience.
    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    Yes. We're a hopeful bunch which is what qlip is alluding to I think. We can fall into idealization and then get hit with the less rosy truth like a ton of bricks.
    Okay I understand... it's like promising flowers in Winter.
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  7. #327
    Senior Member oneandonly's Avatar
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    He was my soulmate. But he wasn't able to be this time, not in this life, & I won't fault him for it. Because, he meant to bring me flowers. I know that to be true.
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  8. #328
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneandonly View Post
    He was my soulmate. But he wasn't able to be this time, not in this life, & I won't fault him for it. Because, he meant to bring me flowers. I know that to be true.
    What happened oneandonly if you don't mind me asking? What makes you certain he's unable to deliver on those flowers? FJs think a little differently...a lot differently concerning these things it seems. Compelled to have things neatly *finalized* at all points on the map...when we're merely at rest stops along the way...possibly distracted by the free coffee or lack of paper towels...but on the inside of a story that has no beginning or end.

  9. #329
    Senior Member oneandonly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    What happened oneandonly if you don't mind me asking? What makes you certain he's unable to deliver on those flowers? FJs think a little differently...a lot differently concerning these things it seems. Compelled to have things neatly *finalized* at all points on the map...when we're merely at rest stops along the way...possibly distracted by the free coffee or lack of paper towels...but on the inside of a story that has no beginning or end.
    He overestimated his ability to start a new relationship. After we were already in one. He wasn't ready. He went back to his ex-girlfriend. But I had fallen already, trusting his words, I disregarded some subtle signs. I did not want to believe it wasn't meant to be, because the connection felt with him was so strong. He had his share of problems, PTSD, War Veteran, Anxiety. But we were both enamored with eathother. He just couldn't move forward.
    We are more than the sum of our parts.

  10. #330
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneandonly View Post
    He overestimated his ability to start a new relationship. After we were already in one. He wasn't ready. He went back to his ex-girlfriend. But I had fallen already, trusting his words, I disregarded some subtle signs. I did not want to believe it wasn't meant to be, because the connection felt with him was so strong. He had his share of problems, PTSD, War Veteran, Anxiety. But we were both enamored with eathother. He just couldn't move forward.
    Whoa. Things got all changed around in my mind with the introduction of War Veteran.

    I know an individual that works with Veterans struggling with PTSD. I was disappointed to discover one evening that he puts approximately zero stock into MBTI until an INFJ friend corrected my thinking by calmly asking "why would he?" "Combat related PTSD would cut deeper... far past the superficial layers of 'the personality' would it not?" I believe it would.

    I appreciate your post very much.
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