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[INFJ] How to Locate an INFJ

DJAchtundvierzig

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:bye:
Have you ever wondered who might be an INFJ? :confused: I have some information that you might find useful. :nice: These tips could lead you to finding this personality type. It takes one to know one, :cheers: but I am not speaking on behalf of others. Just remember that everyone is different and nothing is a sure thing. :duel:

•1
An INFJ demeanor can range from either appearing sad to lost in thought to slightly angry or irritated. Of course I have known some with a more outgoing and overall happy demeanor. A lot of times their face can be easily read by how they are feeling at the moment. They may appear slightly rigid in body movement, like they can't quite become comfortable being in public.
:peepwall:

•2
When speaking, an INFJ might use a lot of exasperated sighs when speaking about something in general. :mellow: However, when hitting topics they know best and love they can sometimes become more upbeat and gregarious. And almost to the point of appearing to be someone else for the time span of their conversation.
:holy:

•3
An INFJ will open up to a close friend, someone they trust deeply. :hug: And often their conversations might have a lot to do with helping others or being overly concerned about someone or something they know well. :hug: Their compassion shines through which contradicts with their reserved, sometimes cold facial expressions. :thelook:


Tips :), warnings :17026:, and such :headphne: ...
•It's not easy befriending an INFJ, but when you do it's because they have learned to trust you. The best thing to do is not push them to open up when they don't want to..let them come to you..
•Approaching an INFJ with an agenda will not likely put you on their "good" side or gain a possible friendship with them..:dont:
•Be yourself, an INFJ will know when you aren't being authentic.. :yes:

*Be aware that INFJs often look like INFPs, INTJs and ISFJs.*

Sorry for my emotion spam. :D

:spam2:
 

DJAchtundvierzig

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Some more stuff...

•1
Watch their body language. INFJs are quiet. In social situations, the INFJ is often uncomfortable. They prefer one-on-one contact to group interaction. Approval or disapproval can often be seen in their facial expressions. An INFJ walks erect and with purpose and they appear to be focused on where they are going. The INFJ also tends to be uncoordinated and is likely to bump into a table or trip on a step.

•2
Listen for verbal clues. An INFJ uses a lot of figurative language with deeper meaning. Because of the unconscious nature of their dominant function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), the INFJ will often seem to ramble as they search for the right words. Parasitic words such as "like" or "um" litter their speech as they attempt to express themselves coherently.

•3
Get in touch with their feelings. INFJs use Extraverted Feeling (Fe) to express themselves. Using Fe, an INFJ will use language to express their values. It drives them to go to great lengths to promote harmony. Extraverted Feeling motivates the INFJ to help others. Fe also causes an INFJ to do things because it is appropriate. They care how they are perceived by others.

•4
Check out what they're wearing. An INFJ will choose appearance over function. Their outfits are usually conservative and coordinated. INFJs usually consider expensive clothing to be a luxury as opposed to a necessity.
 

streetlightfancy

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•1
Watch their body language. INFJs are quiet. In social situations, the INFJ is often uncomfortable. They prefer one-on-one contact to group interaction.

Well first off, thank you for posting this. I especially enjoyed your smilies (speaking of, what is up with this one TC? :jew:). I see myself in all of these points, with the exception of being uncomfortable in social situations. I feel like people often stereotype introverts to be noticeably socially awkward and uncomfortable, like we're hermits with Asperger's or something. I might be on the more outgoing side of the spectrum of introverts, but let's remember, there is a spectrum. Often, people become more comfortable socializing as their confidence grows, so I think that to say that it is based off of a preference for introversion or extroversion is a little off. Quiet yes, but uncomfortable... varies from each individual

Are extroverts more naturally confident you think? Hmmm... maybe

(Sorry to vent all over your post)
 

Arclight

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Language.. I just listen to their language.
It is fool proof. Either you speak it, or you don't.
 

chelsea

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Excellent post. I really identify with all of this, especially the part about facial expression. I can't count how many times people have asked me if I was sad/depressed or why I'm so "serious."

Although I don't use "like" or "um" very often, it does take a great deal for me to be coherent verbally, especially when I'm really passionate about something. I go off on tangents and have to be reminded to get back to the point. I love writing so much for a variety of reasons but one of them is because it gives me more time to get out everything I want to say without interruption.
 

ItsAGuy

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Well first off, thank you for posting this. I especially enjoyed your smilies (speaking of, what is up with this one TC? :jew:). I see myself in all of these points, with the exception of being uncomfortable in social situations. I feel like people often stereotype introverts to be noticeably socially awkward and uncomfortable, like we're hermits with Asperger's or something. I might be on the more outgoing side of the spectrum of introverts, but let's remember, there is a spectrum. Often, people become more comfortable socializing as their confidence grows, so I think that to say that it is based off of a preference for introversion or extroversion is a little off. Quiet yes, but uncomfortable... varies from each individual

Are extroverts more naturally confident you think? Hmmm... maybe

(Sorry to vent all over your post)

E or I, I think it's generally a matter of sensitivity. Some folks have a fairly calloused (read, exercised and thick-skinned) sensitivity that doesn't fear contact a whole lot, while others have highly-sensitive (and thus easily pained) sensitivities. I count myself among the latter, and while I would almost rather be this way, it does come with challenges.
 

INTPness

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Language.. I just listen to their language.
It is fool proof. Either you speak it, or you don't.

I guess I don't speak it. I would never be able to spot an INFJ by their language. What exactly is distinct about their language? What makes their language different from an ENFJ or an ISFJ? Obviously if you knew the INFJ for awhile, you would begin to see these things more clearly, but initially (upon first meeting them or getting to know them), what language should I be looking for?
 

mochajava

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It's a Guy: E or I, I think it's generally a matter of sensitivity. Some folks have a fairly calloused (read, exercised and thick-skinned) sensitivity that doesn't fear contact a whole lot, while others have highly-sensitive (and thus easily pained) sensitivities. I count myself among the latter, and while I would almost rather be this way, it does come with challenges.
This is a really good point. Why would you rather be this way? I am this way and I can't quite decide...

INTPness : I guess I don't speak it. I would never be able to spot an INFJ by their language. What exactly is distinct about their language? What makes their language different from an ENFJ or an ISFJ? Obviously if you knew the INFJ for awhile, you would begin to see these things more clearly, but initially (upon first meeting them or getting to know them), what language should I be looking for?

Yeah, Arclight, tell me too! What language is this that we speak?
 
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Arclight

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"Language" is metaphorical folks..

If you don't know what I mean. Then maybe you need to go back to NF university.;)
I can spot likewise people because they are my people.. same tribe, same language..

If you need a more elaborate explanation than that.... well...
 

INTPness

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"Language" is metaphorical folks..

If you don't know what I mean. Then maybe you need to go back to NF university.;)
I can spot likewise people because they are my people.. same tribe, same language..

If you need a more elaborate explanation than that.... well...

LOL. Well, you said "looking at their language" was fool proof. It's not fool proof for me. I guess you were just saying that it's fool proof for you only - or for other NFJ's.

I know what you mean because I can usually spot an Ne user fairly easily.

And, yes, I know that you meant language in the metaphorical sense. What I was asking is what makes it different than other Fe users. I wasn't looking for exact phrases that INFJ's might use. That would be silly. But, since this thread is about "how to spot an INFJ", I guess all I can gather from your post is that I should look for Fe type language, which I already knew. Is there anything more specific about their metaphorical language than this?
 

Arclight

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LOL. Well, you said "looking at their language" was fool proof. It's not fool proof for me. I guess you were just saying that it's fool proof for you only - or for other NFJ's.

I know what you mean because I can usually spot an Ne user fairly easily.

And, yes, I know that you meant language in the metaphorical sense. What I was asking is what makes it different than other Fe users. I wasn't looking for exact phrases that INFJ's might use. That would be silly. But, since this thread is about "how to spot an INFJ", I guess all I can gather from your post is that I should look for Fe type language, which I already knew. Is there anything more specific about their metaphorical language than this?

It's familiarity.. I guess yeah, If I am Fe/Ni then I can spot it so easy in other people, especially now that I know what Ni and Fe are ( I had been mislead at one time)
But it's also language directly, or what a person DOESN'T say.
I guess I should have qualified that it's only fool proof for me.
I assumed if you speak my language , you would know exactly what I mean.
But you are cursed with INTPness , and that is rough. so I offer my condolences :D
 

INTPness

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But you are cursed with INTPness , and that is rough. so I offer my condolences :D

Ha ha. Thank you for your sympathy. If you need help with your homework, just let me know.
 

Arclight

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Ha ha. Thank you for your sympathy. If you need help with your homework, just let me know.

How's you capacity for remembering in generic and Brand names and their classifications for pharmacology?
I have to have 60 of them memorized by Thursday, and I think I have about 6 committed to memory at this point.:doh:

Can you help me improve my inner RAM?? :newwink:
 

INTPness

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How's you capacity for remembering in generic and Brand names and their classifications for pharmacology?
I have to have 60 of them memorized by Thursday, and I think I have about 6 committed to memory at this point.:doh:

Can you help me improve my inner RAM?? :newwink:

Yeah, just learn 1 "class" at a time. Take the first class and write down all the drugs that fall in that category in alphabetical order. Just focus on the very 1st drug in the 1st category. Learn that 1 drug in 5 minutes. Then go do some other stuff. Then come back 30 minutes later and learn the 2nd drug. Keep repeating this throughout the day until tonight you have them all memorized (only 1 class).

Tomorrow, do the same thing for class 2. Wednesday, class 3. Do 2 classes per day if you need to.

The key is to not focus on all 60 drugs. Too much info. Just take 1 drug at a time, learn everything you need to know about that one drug. Then, give yourself a break. 30 minutes later, learn drug 2. In 3 days, you'll know all 60 drugs. Be sure to give yourself a quiz each night before you go to bed. Like tonight, make yourself write down each drug in class 1 - by pure memory. Don't cheat. By the end of today, you have to know (by heart) every single drug in category 1. Make it happen. Report back with results. :D
 

ItsAGuy

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This is a really good point. Why would you rather be this way? I am this way and I can't quite decide...

Because being oversensitive makes me take greater care not only with myself but with how I impact others. This leads to being single a lot, since expressing admiration for another begins to feel like intrusion if it is not instantly returned (which it usually isn't, regardless of possible outcomes with a more ~aggressive~ stance)... but yeah, I'd rather be too careful than not careful enough.
 

Fenekk

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I'm probably hard to type for the average person. I'd think even INFJs might mistake me for something else... I think it's partially because I'm very good at switching to Fe when I'm in public. I can kind of "turn off" or "balance" my Ni to some extent when dealing with others and focus more on them than what I believe INFJs are supposed to. That probably makes me seem more extroverted. However I also talk in order to feed my Ni if that makes any sense. If I can get you to talk I can learn more about you. I'm also rather the multitasker at times, and I work well in small groups, too. Anyway, I automatically grasp who are extroverts and introverts in small groups and I automatically talk to introverts more (usually after I have observed their body language and I am certain they wouldn't object to participating).

But yeah, I'm not terribly quiet, in general... Then again, I am typically more forward and talkative around my friends. Around new people I am a lot more quiet. I will say some things, but they are usually answers to questions, and the occasional question posed in order to give me a better understanding of who they are. I suppose the image I try to put forward to people I don't know is a professional one, "genuinely interested in you and what you have to offer".

I guess people don't always know right away how much information I have on them by the time we part, and I'll be honest; I like it that way, because I know some people would be uncomfortable. I don't see any point in misusing information I have deduced, but some people might get paranoid.

However, my degree of extroversion in small groups often depends on my mood. I've perplexed my friends with this before. We meet new people and they expect me to start talking to them and asking them questions but I've wandered off elsewhere after the introductions. Haha...

However, I would say that I probably fit the bill for a physical description of an INFJ... Thin, long face, glasses are a nice bonus (even though I hate mine), conservative, comfortable clothing/dressy clothes (I like to look professional).
 

Wyst

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I never notice who INFJs are until we start talking about MBTI. Then all of the sudden it will dawn on me, 'Ohhhh they're an INFJ.. of course!'

Despite being an INFJ myself, I'm not able to spot them in the wild.
 

highlander

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Excellent post/OP. I've never been able to identify one IRL that didn't tell me.
 
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