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View Poll Results: INFJs are...

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  • Awesome!

    52 65.82%
  • okay I guess...whats so special about them...?

    27 34.18%
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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle99 View Post
    I'm not saying I'm never guilty of passive-aggressiveness. I just said I don't like it... from what I understand, it is healthy to recognize one's own faults, yes?
    Agreed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle99 View Post
    But honestly, I didn't think my post was passive aggressive. I thought it was a pretty obvious and direct response to you. I wasn't trying to get the last word in... in fact it was my first word! Just throwing in my 2 cents. What to you reads as passive aggressive?
    I don't feel you were trying to get the last word in -- that observation was not directed at your particular behavior, but at the behavior of passive-aggressiveness in general.

    What I bold below reads as passive-aggressive (to me).

    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle99 View Post
    I'm not a fan of passive-agressiveness either, but I really don't think it's any worse than plain ol' aggressiveness. Any kind of negatively aggressive behavior is distasteful, and to vilify passive-agressiveness in an outright aggressive manner is... well, it's funny. I'm seriously chuckling right now. Just seems like a very artificial distinction to me.

  2. #82
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Hmmm... I guess I don't see how that's passive-aggressive... I said "to vilify blah blah blah" instead of "the fact that you vilify blah blah blah" simply because the latter seems an awkward grammatical construction. And also because lots of peeps do it, so it make more sense to make it a general statement, not referring to you only.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

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  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by chelsea View Post
    I put an arrow towards your post which means I meant you. Not that complex.
    Yeah, but you still used generalized language when referring to me, which adds that slight hint of passive-aggressive behavior that seems to be so deeply ingrained in your soul.



    Quote Originally Posted by chelsea View Post
    I just wrote how important it was to me to have things settled and having things settled according to my perspective is not what's important to me.
    That's called your blind spot.

    Quote Originally Posted by chelsea View Post
    Again, it doesn't seem you're interested in learning about a type you don't understand you just want to complain and make incorrect assumptions.
    Actually, I might just understand your type better than you do yourself.

    Based on the comments people have made (mostly by INFJs), what I'm saying seems to be quite accurate.

    Maybe you need to get a little bit better at accepting constructive criticism.

  4. #84
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    (once again, passive-aggressiveness on display)

    passive-aggressive. —adj. of or relating to a personality that harbours aggressive emotions while behaving in a calm or detached manner

    So you have a problem with someone behaving in a calm or detached manner?
    Would you prefer screaming and hitting people with blunt objects?

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle99 View Post
    Hmmm... I guess I don't see how that's passive-aggressive... I said "to vilify blah blah blah" instead of "the fact that you vilify blah blah blah" simply because the latter seems an awkward grammatical construction. And also because lots of peeps do it, so it make more sense to make it a general statement, not referring to you only.
    Look, just so you know, I'm not arguing with you, as, unlike *cue passive aggressive grammatical construction* someone else in this thread, I think you actually seem reasonable and capable of discussing this issue maturely.

    That being said, and as I hinted above, grammatical construction is inherent to a passive-aggressive style of communication.

    Along with tone and delivery, I'd say grammatical construction is part of what defines passive-aggressive behavior -- it's how we recognize it in the first place.

    So, when you say there's something grammatically awkward about the construction "the fact that you vilify blah blah blah", I can't help but laugh, cuz I don't see a single thing awkward about that construction.

    I would postulate that this more direct mode of communication just makes your uncomfortable, particularly in the context of an argument or discussion, and, as such, you feel the construction is "awkward".

    I dunno, just my two cents.

  6. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    passive-aggressive. —adj. of or relating to a personality that harbours aggressive emotions while behaving in a calm or detached manner

    So you have a problem with someone behaving in a calm or detached manner?
    Would you prefer screaming or hitting people with blunt objects?
    I'd prefer for them to be honest -- not feeling aggression but trying to act as if they don't.

    If they weren't actually feeling aggression, then I would have no problem with them behaving in a calm or detached manner.

    I'd add that there's something missing in that definition, that other more precise definitions would capture.

    Specifically, I think you can be calm and detached but also very direct and honest in your argumentation and communication style.

    There's something more about passive-aggressiveness than what that definition implies.

    There's this just fundamental dishonesty that tinges every bit of it.

  7. #87
    Senior Member DJAchtundvierzig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    passive-aggressive. —adj. of or relating to a personality that harbours aggressive emotions while behaving in a calm or detached manner

    So you have a problem with someone behaving in a calm or detached manner?
    Would you prefer screaming or hitting people with blunt objects?
    You took the words right out of my mouth.

    And Z, don't be a hater.

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJAchtundvierzig View Post
    And Z, don't be a hater.
    Passive-aggressive.


  9. #89
    Senior Member DJAchtundvierzig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Passive-aggressive.

    Hahaha, wow...

  10. #90
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    Yeah, but you still used generalized language when referring to me, which adds that slight hint of passive-aggressive behavior that seems to be so deeply ingrained in your soul.
    I meant you and anyone like you who is unable to see anything from a perspective not their own.

    That's called your blind spot.
    No, it's true but it doesn't fit with your assumptions so you discard it as untrue.

    Actually, I might just understand your type better than you do yourself.

    Based on the comments people have made (mostly by INFJs), what I'm saying seems to be quite accurate.

    Maybe you need to get a little bit better at accepting constructive criticism.
    You think you understand it, but you don't.

    The way you've posted in here you should go back to your original post to realize that the things you mention actually apply very well to you.

    Just a bit of constructive criticism for you.

    By the way, much constructive criticism was offered in this thread by others and I was, in response, very accepting of it. What you've provided here is not constructive criticism. I stand by what I said before, it's obvious you've had bad experiences and are projecting.

    It might not be a bad idea for you to develop a little Fe that you seem to despise so much. Might help you to understand how you come across to others...

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