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View Poll Results: INFJs are...

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  • Awesome!

    52 65.82%
  • okay I guess...whats so special about them...?

    27 34.18%
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  1. #21
    Member Cbelle's Avatar
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    I had an INFJ for a best friend for the longest time. He controlled our friendship up to the point where I had "filled all the requirements" (as he told me later) for starting a relationship. However, romance with him only lasted a week, because one night I got angry at him for watching TV and ignoring me while I was talking to him on the phone, and I hung up. I called back and he told me it was over.

    Some things I noticed about him: He always insisted on how romantic he was. He watched love movies all the time. He talked about having romantic dates with his wife once he married. Unfortunately, it was all talk. The relationship was as about as romantic as a concrete wall: He told me what he needed me to be, and until I was it, he would consider me a failure.

    He said things like:
    How he liked girls as skinny as Keira Knightly, and how nice it was that I was that skinny, but he didn't want me gaining any weight.
    How he wanted me to wear these kinds of clothes and if it was against my standards or I didn't like them, that was too bad. He also would say how some of my clothes were ugly on me.
    How my eyes were greenish, which was nice, but his favorite color for eyes were silver.
    How I couldn't get tan in the summer because he liked white skin and my skin wasn't white enough.

    I don't mean to sound derogatory to INFJ's, this was just my experience with one. I am very wary of talk-romantic men.

    And honestly, I believe he was psychologically depressed, and he wasn't afraid of dragging me down with him. I was so naive at that time (and it was my first "relationship") that I was blind to the fact that he was controlling me. I was like his puppy. I would do anything for him.

    Ok I'm starting to get a little teary-eyed and sick to the stomach. I hate thinking about some of the things he said to me.
    WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me.
    P.O. Box 322, Spokane, WA. You'll get
    paid after we get back. Must bring your own
    weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done
    this once before.

  2. #22
    Member Fife's Avatar
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  3. #23
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cbelle View Post
    I had an INFJ for a best friend for the longest time. He controlled our friendship up to the point where I had "filled all the requirements" (as he told me later) for starting a relationship. However, romance with him only lasted a week, because one night I got angry at him for watching TV and ignoring me while I was talking to him on the phone, and I hung up. I called back and he told me it was over.

    Some things I noticed about him: He always insisted on how romantic he was. He watched love movies all the time. He talked about having romantic dates with his wife once he married. Unfortunately, it was all talk. The relationship was as about as romantic as a concrete wall: He told me what he needed me to be, and until I was it, he would consider me a failure.

    He said things like:
    How he liked girls as skinny as Keira Knightly, and how nice it was that I was that skinny, but he didn't want me gaining any weight.
    How he wanted me to wear these kinds of clothes and if it was against my standards or I didn't like them, that was too bad. He also would say how some of my clothes were ugly on me.
    How my eyes were greenish, which was nice, but his favorite color for eyes were silver.
    How I couldn't get tan in the summer because he liked white skin and my skin wasn't white enough.

    I don't mean to sound derogatory to INFJ's, this was just my experience with one. I am very wary of talk-romantic men.

    And honestly, I believe he was psychologically depressed, and he wasn't afraid of dragging me down with him. I was so naive at that time (and it was my first "relationship") that I was blind to the fact that he was controlling me. I was like his puppy. I would do anything for him.

    Ok I'm starting to get a little teary-eyed and sick to the stomach. I hate thinking about some of the things he said to me.
    Im sorry for your experience.

    That sounds rather unhealthy on many levels. I mean sure, I have my preferences as far as looks, but I'm not necesssarily that picky. I mean if a girl looks good she looks good. And I never intentionally dragg other people down when Im depressed.

  4. #24
    Member Cbelle's Avatar
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    Thank you dearly for your understanding.

    I clearly understand that he was unhealthy, young, and selfish... and maybe just entirely confused.

    I appreciate the rest of you INFJs. You are sweeties.
    WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me.
    P.O. Box 322, Spokane, WA. You'll get
    paid after we get back. Must bring your own
    weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done
    this once before.

  5. #25
    meat popsicle r.a's Avatar
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    people say i am fickle. i wouldn't disagree.

    i have my reasons.
    "All authority of any kind, especially in the field of thought and understanding, is destructive and evil. Leaders destroy the followers and the followers destroy the leaders. You have to be your own teacher and your own disciple. You have to question everything that man has accepted as valuable, as necessary."
    -
    J.Krishnamurti

  6. #26
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    Overall your pretty cool. The only thing that frustrates me would be the fact that (this is from my view of my friend who is one) he never thinks much goes his way. I suppose it goes back to the woe is me. He exaggerates his problems too much, but that may be my P talking.

  7. #27
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Seriously, Amar, your whole post could have literally been taken straight out of my mind... It's when you read stuff like this that you realize that this typology stuff actually does have a good amount going for it... So true... And I hate passive-aggressiveness...

    If you want to be aggressive, be aggressive. Don't fucking feign like you're not, when you actually are. It's just fake, and makes me want to Yeah, the difference is that we have our vision, but we realize that it is our vision.

    INFJs, on the other hand, think that their vision should be everybody's vision. As such, they have a deep desire to control everyone around them, which is why, deep down, so many of them tend to be a bunch of lil s... Seriously. Jesus. H. Christ. Woe is fucking you.

    You are "so good" and everyone else is "so not as good as you", and it's just so hard on you it makes you wanna . Fuckin' a. Get over yourself. Yeah, this is wrapped up in all of the above.

    When it comes down to it, they are just extremely judgmental, cuz they think they know what's right for everybody. It makes most of them a bunch of little control freaks, who then get all emo when they realize that they won't be able to control everybody.

    It's fucking pathetic... What kinda of messed up wiring is that...? Anyway, I like the idea of a really mature INFJ who doesn't engage in stuff like this, but, unfortunately, I find that the majority do... I guess the INFJ choice is either or .

    The difference between the two is probably highly related to something very important that the former realized:
    "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye?

    You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" - (Matthew 7.1-5 ESV)
    Zarathustra, I'm holding my sides I'm laughing sooooo hard. Oh.... my dear INFJs.... even when they need a good kick in the *ss, I (usually) adore them.

    And, God knows I have many, many a stereotypical ENFP fault...that being said, "Right on!"

    Couple other things Esoteric Wench has noticed from her ENFP side of the table:

    1. Paralysis by Analysis.
    2. Lack of any sort of "take a chance" gene.
    3. Occasional (and usually endearing) complete disconnect from reality.
    4. (When not at their best) A wee bit of "holier-than-thou" -ness.
    5. And, of course, from my P perspective, a tad too many J tendencies (aka overly anal retentive).*




    *Once again, let me repeat that ENFP's have plenty of faults of their own. (I'm on time only once in five attempts.) But I'm trying to keep on topic here.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  8. #28
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  9. #29
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Hmm, perhaps I should rethink what INFJs are all about..

    So not much of an SP wannabe feature? And not even a tough NJ backbone..? Just passive-aggression and pretentiousness?

    Are some of the people being dissed really INFJs or just jerks?

  10. #30
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cbelle View Post
    I had an INFJ for a best friend for the longest time. He controlled our friendship up to the point where I had "filled all the requirements" (as he told me later) for starting a relationship. However, romance with him only lasted a week, because one night I got angry at him for watching TV and ignoring me while I was talking to him on the phone, and I hung up. I called back and he told me it was over.

    Some things I noticed about him: He always insisted on how romantic he was. He watched love movies all the time. He talked about having romantic dates with his wife once he married. Unfortunately, it was all talk. The relationship was as about as romantic as a concrete wall: He told me what he needed me to be, and until I was it, he would consider me a failure.

    He said things like:
    How he liked girls as skinny as Keira Knightly, and how nice it was that I was that skinny, but he didn't want me gaining any weight.
    How he wanted me to wear these kinds of clothes and if it was against my standards or I didn't like them, that was too bad. He also would say how some of my clothes were ugly on me.
    How my eyes were greenish, which was nice, but his favorite color for eyes were silver.
    How I couldn't get tan in the summer because he liked white skin and my skin wasn't white enough.

    I don't mean to sound derogatory to INFJ's, this was just my experience with one. I am very wary of talk-romantic men.

    And honestly, I believe he was psychologically depressed, and he wasn't afraid of dragging me down with him. I was so naive at that time (and it was my first "relationship") that I was blind to the fact that he was controlling me. I was like his puppy. I would do anything for him.

    Ok I'm starting to get a little teary-eyed and sick to the stomach. I hate thinking about some of the things he said to me.

    Hmmmm, I don't see much evidence of Fe here. I'm not too sure if he was really INFJ, but if he was, he was extremely unhealthy. Oddly enough, we kinda doubt our worth to others, so maybe that had something to do with it. He sounded extreme though. Sorry you had to experience that.
    "What's Taters, Precious?" --- Gollum.

    "Bring your pretty face, to my axe". --- Gimly.

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