WARNING: Many generalities follow, all based on a few irritating individuals.
They drive me up the fucking WALL. :steam:
The ones I know wouldn't get OFF my ass about being "organized" and "orderly". So fucking anal that they waste more time bitching about neatness/tidiness than the time that such orderliness would save.
Really defeats the purpose. My boss has a fucking coronary attack if I have a scatter of papers on my desk. Guess what fruit loop, IT'S WORK I'M DOING FOR YOU. Maybe I ought to just dick around on Facebook all day. My desk would be real clean then!
And a professor...this was in a writing class where we had to write one-sentence responses to her ridiculous poetry (that's another thing, they're so BIASED, whether it's people they like or what they choose to teach, etc)...but they had to be typed! ONE FUCKING SENTENCE. Bye bye tree, hello waste of ink and printing cost! How does it NOT look ridiculous to her when she receives blank papers with 10 little words on it? WTF. And she didn't accept it handwritten and did NOT accept late work. Fine, I'm fine with not accepting late work, but to reject it just because I didn't drive 10 miles to Kinko's to print a fucking sentence? You'll be writing your own sad poetry when you find all kinds of nasty reviews on RateMyProfessors, to the school department, to peers, etc. And hopefully get fired.
This sounds just like many STJs I know (my mother, my brother, my former piano teacher, my boss). Especially the teacher. These are very concrete things, are you sure this teacher is an intuitive? NJ people judge abstract things like loyalty, integrity, truthfulness, intelligence, etc. not handwriting and presentation (unless they can't read what you wrote). I've actually had two SJ French teachers and they obsessed about those things as well. I hated it and got really annoyed, just like you. SJs are common in the teaching professions.
Hello Zarathustra, I am particularly struck by the interaction between you and aquarelle (think that was her name).
Sorry, I think I meant someone else.
Originally Posted by babyaspirin
Regarding the passive aggressive issue. Personally, I don't see that as a trait in myself. When I am aggressive, there is no doubt about it! Again, I think that this may be more of an INFP than an INFJ weakness (no offence to all the lovely INFPs out there, and sorry to pick on you twice in this reply). I say this because they tend to be more unwilling to be direct with people, which sometimes manifests as aggression that is "under the radar."
Upon further reflection, I would like to add that INFJs can be "manipulative" through their Fe. This may be similar to the INFP's indirectness, which can feel like "passive aggressiveness" to others.
INFJs sometimes hide things because they want to maintain harmony, or because they want to control how the other(s) might respond. If they have stuck their foot in their mouths, they may try to manoeuvre themselves out of it with soothing words, retreat, compliments, or by changing the subject. All far removed from what they are really feeling inside. I can see how this might seem passive aggressive at first glance...
Either way, these are ways of dealing with things that may be difficult for more open and direct types to suffer willingly.
I think where passive aggressiveness and manipulation become detestable are when they are used to hurt others. In that case, I don't think it really matters whether or not the interaction is underground or overt.
I hate my INFJ friend because he never wants to do anything I suggest he should do. I often just want him to try something I think he might like. He always poopoos it. This is something our ESFJ friend has noticed as well.
He suggested that perhaps we find something he'd really be interested in (like some jazz concert or something) and suggest that to him and when he says nay we go w/o him. That would be fun.
It's also no fun that he just delegitimizes our opinion by denying that he has Fe.
One-on-one I'm much better friends with his INTJ brother, who's much more confident in his ability to make decisions independently...
"... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.