I had a date with another INFJ. He's also the first INFJ I know, so I was super excited! Although I think we're just friends for now (sad, he's so amazing), I ended up learning so much about myself that I'm currently suffering and enjoying from an epiphany. Two INFJs on a date... intense!
He thought I might be a bit too passive for him, taking myself too seriously, and not being adventurous enough (he's more balanced/healthy INFJ). I wasn't pushing him into any direction, so to speak, and that's not very inspiring for anyone. I was thinking that myself, too, as I slowly started to realize how he's taking lead while I'm basically saying "no" to the things he suggested. For example, he wanted to go for a swim, but I slowly kind of shot the idea down. I should have just gone swimming with him and be excited about it and have fun. Period.
But I have fears. Lots of them. I decided to write down all the fears that limit my life in some way. I ended up with a list of twenty fears. Seeing them all at once, I was almost shocked, and I realized that they are seriously limiting me and making me miserable. I have been thinking about my fears/limitations every now and then one at a time, but I have never analyzed all of them as a complete system. Doing that, I realized all of them come down to either perfectionism or neuroticism.
I'm still processing all of this, but I'll have to find a way to overcome all these issues of perfectionism and neuroticism. I believe these traits are also part (to some degree) of being an INFJ, so I wonder, will I lose myself in the process?
My life hasn't been good over the past couple of years and it has only been getting worse, which makes this experience all the more powerful. I feel like this could be a turning point... I feel like an "angel" (I'm not religious, hehe) in the shape of an INFJ came to rescue me from a dark pit... and now it's up to me to make the necessary changes. (Just too bad I couldn't catch that angel and make him my boyfriend! )
Any thoughts? Can other INFJs or NFs relate to this? Has anyone gone through this kind of epiphanies and become more healthy? Are epiphanies common for INFJs? I sometimes have these kind of moments of vision and pure energy and really change my life with them, but this is the biggest one I've had so far. How to overcome fears? How to deal with perfectionism? I guess it's just little steps. And I already took one today, yay...