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  1. #1
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    Default anytips for entp with an infj??

    Hiiii everyoneeee!!! Me ENTP and first time I post here lol
    Last month I met the most interesting girl of my life... my INFJ gf (I hope she is lol)
    that drives me crazy and makes me think about her everyday nonstop, she looks so innocent and caring sometimes but has managed to do the impossible... controlling me, it seems that I behave better when with her because I don't want to disappoint her...I hate myself when she cries because of me... and she genuinely seems to love me.
    The first time I ever been in love...

    But I don't want to lose her... I try to be myself, and I enjoy making her laugh,
    but we have many disagreements, any tips for me? to make our relationship last? maybe to marriage?

  2. #2
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Handle that word very carefully. Attachment can be misjudged as love very easy, I've all been guilty of it once or twice.

    Back on topic, make it clear to her, through actions as well as words, that you love her. Don't just say it though, the actions will cement it in her mind and it will make a big difference. Also, when you two are arguing, try to calm it down and let her know that you were just trying to state your opinion and you didn't want it to become a battle. If you look at the argument from her side and let her know that you do it will help substantially.

    Sorry, my minds a little out of whack so my typing was a little screwed up

  3. #3
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Hi, cless986! Is there a pattern to the disagreements? Do you feel smothered or constricted by her sometimes? Does her seeing her sad stir a bit of an angry feeling inside of you? Please describe the dynamic and your disagreements.
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  4. #4
    Sniffles
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    Talk to entropie.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    INFJs are sensitive and caring. You don't need any tips; they're great people.

  6. #6
    Member 1.000.000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cless986 View Post
    any tips for me? to make our relationship last? maybe to marriage?
    Tips? Sure. Slow down and chill out. You've known her for a month and you're thinking about marriage? That's obsession, not love. There's no way you could possibly know someone well enough for that in such a short period of time (especially an INFJ). Being in relationship is fun and all, but this kind of mindset is going to set you up for a world of hurt down the line.

    Anyway, as far as general advice goes, stop building her up to be something magical. She's one out of millions, not one out of a million. It sounds like you're investing way too much emotionally in her right now. Just relax and take it as it comes.

    I'll post more INFJ centric advice when I haven't been awake for 24 hours.
    "Wait, time out. I just wanted to ask real quick, if I can. You believe in rebellion, freedom and love, right? "

    You! Yes, you there! What's on your mind when you're just walking along not thinking about anything?

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1.000.000 View Post
    Tips? Sure. Slow down and chill out. You've known her for a month and you're thinking about marriage? That's obsession, not love. There's no way you could possibly know someone well enough for that in such a short period of time (especially an INFJ). Being in relationship is fun and all, but this kind of mindset is going to set you up for a world of hurt down the line.

    Anyway, as far as general advice goes, stop building her up to be something magical. She's one out of millions, not one out of a million. It sounds like you're investing way too much emotionally in her right now. Just relax and take it as it comes.

    I'll post more INFJ centric advice when I haven't been awake for 24 hours.
    Yeah, I completely agree with 1.000.000. You have to take a deep breath and slow down. I mean, the month thing doesn't matter to me as much, (to me time doesn't matter, you know when you know), but the writing in your post sounds wayyy wayyy intense. "drives me crazy" "first time I ever been in love" "I don't want to lose her" I know it's hard if not impossible, my friend, but if you can manage it, try to slow down as best you can.

    1.000.000 is also giving you great advice. Remember she's a human being, not an idea.

  8. #8
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    ummm problem in paradise
    She suddenly started to talk about my shortcomings and things she doesn't like about me...
    for example, my recklessness and my lack of empathy, and in the last date, it seems that I failed some kind of test... and has been distant and angry to me... told me she was disappointed about us and she was about to end our relationship, but I asked another chance... I promised her that I will be the first and only boyfriend she ever had or needed, and I will do the best to improve myself..be someone she can be proud of...

    ahh, we had a long and serious talk... and she agreed to give me another chance...

    So... has any entp here had this kind of trouble? I sincerely want to be her perfect mate, so any tips will be helpful...

  9. #9
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    A secret test that was employed, eh? Do you think that perhaps she is doing this to justify her trying to leave you, or are these remarks something you see in yourself as well?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    Hi, cless986! Is there a pattern to the disagreements? Do you feel smothered or constricted by her sometimes? Does her seeing her sad stir a bit of an angry feeling inside of you? Please describe the dynamic and your disagreements.
    well... she complains that I always argue, and she hates that I always try to win the argument... but I give space so she can talk her point of view and opinions... I tell her that I understand but I don't always agree, in secret, but she seems to know when I am lying to her... (hehehe, didnt know that infjs have an uncanny ability to do that)

    I don't know if she is smothering me or constricted by her, but she has asked the exact question. "Do you feel I am forcing you to change? And I replied: I dont know...., yeah, I use that phrase a lot now, I dont know, I dont know, because, I dont want to say something she may not like, I know that I shouldnt be that clingy, but dont know what to do... I really lover her....

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