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  1. #11
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Don't lie to her. You need to know what happens when you disagree with her. This is the true test, I'd imagine.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    A secret test that was employed, eh? Do you think that perhaps she is doing this to justify her trying to leave you, or are these remarks something you see in yourself as well?
    I dont think so... she was with her big sister, first time I met her, we went to the mall to hang out, I was courteous, and behaved like a gentleman: paying the biil, opening doors, etc
    But I didnt get along with her sister, she was obviously an ESFP :steam: kind of hated her, my GF may have sensed my discomfort around her, and it seems that gaining her sister approval and trust was her test... and I failed. she loves her family very much and didn't want an boyfriend that cant get along with them... she is right, if I want her, I need to gain her family trust and approval first.

  3. #13
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    That does help.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Don't lie to her. You need to know what happens when you disagree with her. This is the true test, I'd imagine.
    I don't, really. She is soo innocent and lying to her is not fair.
    and a wasted of time, I imagine... she being an INFJ, she is one of the
    few people that can see trough my facade and see who I really am. :redface:
    Can you tell me more about that test?

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by cless986 View Post
    I don't, really. She is soo innocent and lying to her is not fair.
    and a wasted of time, I imagine... she being an INFJ, she is one of the
    few people that can see trough my facade and see who I really am. :redface:
    Can you tell me more about that test?
    I suppose an INFJ would be the least qualified to elaborate on that test, but I shall try.

    There seems to be some inner mechanism inside an INFJ that zeroes in on someone else's actions (not words or sentences, but the way sentences are phrased could also be observed), and tries to formulate a conclusion as to whether that person is being "sincere." Which is why sometimes, INFJs don't really look into your eyes when speaking with you, or their eyes dart around you and your body (hands, face, etc).

    So what is the INFJ looking for when observing another person? That's the thing, even the INFJ can't explain it. If they tried, they'd end up getting frustrated at themselves. It could be the way hands move, or the how the torso leans, etc etc. Bottomline is, INFJ's could be conducting the test and not even know it. It's that...buried in their subconscious.

    I think the only way to "pass" this test is to be yourself (yet another vague advice.) Whoever you are, as long as your being upfront, I think the INFJ will find you A-OK.

    (I hope this does not qualify as "rambling.")

  6. #16
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by cless986 View Post
    I don't, really. She is soo innocent and lying to her is not fair.
    and a wasted of time, I imagine... she being an INFJ, she is one of the
    few people that can see trough my facade and see who I really am. :redface:
    Can you tell me more about that test?
    It's mainly about surviving the struggle of a large argument. Yes your relationship is fine, when everything is going 'well', but true personalities come out when under stress and this is what arguments do, they bring out true feelings. The true test is to figure out her true feelings, no holds bar.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    It's mainly about surviving the struggle of a large argument. Yes your relationship is fine, when everything is going 'well', but true personalities come out when under stress and this is what arguments do, they bring out true feelings. The true test is to figure out her true feelings, no holds bar.
    Well... Her favorite phrase is "you dont understand what I am saying to you" i dont understand what she is means with that :S. I mean, she says that phrase when I try to explain to her the way she thinks or the reasons of why she does something... I know is wrong to overanalize her... But I thought she will like someone who understands her... I dont know what to do... I am doing well behaving like her psychologist? Or what do you recommend me to do?? If i figure her true feelings... What I do then?

  8. #18
    Member Rachel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cless986 View Post
    Well... Her favorite phrase is "you dont understand what I am saying to you" i dont understand what she is means with that :S. I mean, she says that phrase when I try to explain to her the way she thinks or the reasons of why she does something... I know is wrong to overanalize her... But I thought she will like someone who understands her... I dont know what to do... I am doing well behaving like her psychologist? Or what do you recommend me to do?? If i figure her true feelings... What I do then?

    I think the issue is that you're making assumptions about what she feels or thinks, expecting her to accept them. Instead, let her tell you what she feels or thinks. Don't assume you know or understand her view. It's not about Ti, it's about you appreciating her Fi, and developing your Fe.

  9. #19
    Senior Member ItsAGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cless986 View Post
    Hiiii everyoneeee!!! Me ENTP and first time I post here lol
    Last month I met the most interesting girl of my life... my INFJ gf (I hope she is lol)
    that drives me crazy and makes me think about her everyday nonstop, she looks so innocent and caring sometimes but has managed to do the impossible... controlling me, it seems that I behave better when with her because I don't want to disappoint her...I hate myself when she cries because of me... and she genuinely seems to love me.
    The first time I ever been in love...

    But I don't want to lose her... I try to be myself, and I enjoy making her laugh,
    but we have many disagreements, any tips for me? to make our relationship last? maybe to marriage?
    Though I may be a guy, this particular INFJ does need the occasional unrequested reminder of affection from a partner... it can be the tiniest thing (from a surprise long hug on up) so long as it comes out of the blue without having been sought after. INFJs are inextricably tied to authenticity, and whenever we have to SEEK OUT attention, we come away afraid that we would not have gotten any otherwise, and that the attention we got was simply toleration wearing a smile.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #20
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Be careful with the arguing -- don't get wrapped up in an argument that you start getting aggressive about just because your adrenaline is up. Also be careful with the criticizing. Don't nitpick. INFJ really does not like to argue and takes it more seriously than entp does.

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