User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 14

  1. #1
    Member cheerchick23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    Ne
    Posts
    59

    Default Logic ----> Confidence ?

    So, I was always a kind of shy child, always knew my place and usually cowered in front of authority (making me a bit of a teacher's pet ). This led to an attitude of people-pleasing, not wanting to upset anyone or throw off social balance, etc. so I always had some semi-insecure feelings and habits. I am now a very outgoing, bubbly, silly ENFP around people I know... but I still harbor some of those tendencies.

    A few weeks ago, I went on a trip and was constantly thrown into rooms full of strangers who I'd never met and would never see again, and every time I assumed my position of awkward inferiority. One day, however, (I don't know what led me to it) I realized... why the hell should I be doing this? I could rip off my clothes and do the chicken dance in front of these people and it wouldn't really matter! I'm never seeing them again... so, rationally, why not be this confident vixen who I'd like to be instead of some unassuming awkward bystander? I thought all this out quite analytically, and in doing so, figured out that there is no logical reason why anyone should feel inferior (especially with strangers who will never be seen again) and I felt so much more confident. When I got home it stayed and it has basically changed my world view...

    Anyone ever felt something like this or had a similar experience? I found it quite fascinating

  2. #2
    your resident asshole
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    4,411

    Default

    Nice epiphany there. Yeah... I figured out that you don't have to care what people think of you when you're out with strangers also. It's really a great feeling... now if only I can apply that with people I already know, things would be great...

  3. #3
    Senior Member You's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    2,137

    Default

    Not so easy with folks you know.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2,204

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cheerchick23 View Post
    Anyone ever felt something like this or had a similar experience? I found it quite fascinating
    Feeling of inferiority.. low confidence.. etc.. usually come from how you feel about yourself, mostly unconsciously. Little of it can be changed with logic and reasoning. Proof are so many people who go for years to therapies where they over and over again talk and conclude on cognitive level that they are not wrong, unworthy etc. but they keep going back to the old patterns and old views of themselves, because those beliefs about yourself are mostly subconscious, on conscious level you know you feel less-than but feelings are there, you can change your mind but you cant change your feelings, not with logic.

    Logic works only when you have slightly feeling of being inferior..

  5. #5
    Member cheerchick23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    Ne
    Posts
    59

    Default

    "Logic works only when you have slightly feeling of being inferior.. "

    This was mainly how I was. I'm quite a confident person, just harbored some old tendencies of feeling awkward sometimes! It wasn't like I walked into every situation with my tail between my legs and knees shaking hahaha


  6. #6
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    478

    Default

    This was really well-said. Logic works, but only so far since it can't reach your unconscious mind...

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    Feeling of inferiority.. low confidence.. etc.. usually come from how you feel about yourself, mostly unconsciously. Little of it can be changed with logic and reasoning. Proof are so many people who go for years to therapies where they over and over again talk and conclude on cognitive level that they are not wrong, unworthy etc. but they keep going back to the old patterns and old views of themselves, because those beliefs about yourself are mostly subconscious, on conscious level you know you feel less-than but feelings are there, you can change your mind but you cant change your feelings, not with logic.

    Logic works only when you have slightly feeling of being inferior..

  7. #7
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    awesome epiphany.

    i agree, LOVE strangers. love having the opportunity to create a totally new me and to be fairly uninhibited. i also love being in a room with no one i know because no one is there to criticize me for acting in a way they think "isn't me", or isn't appropriate.

    agree with Chloe too though, there's only so far logic can go. i have those same shy people-pleasing tendencies and they do have their root in insecurity about myself. the question is, if you do find yourself being disliked or reject by these new people, how does it feel? are you okay with it? if you are, then huge props. that's still one i'm working on.

  8. #8
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    135 so/sp
    Posts
    8,697

    Default

    Congratulations , and welcome to the dark side.

    As for experiance I am like this since I was a baby. Sometimes I did not care even if I really should have. If I can see the benefit of bing nice I will nice. Bur going around and want to please strangers I will probably never see again seems .......... (you know)

    But i am pretty far from being a ENFP. So I am presuming all of this does not coun't actually.


    Anyway, this newly found logic of yours trully didn't make any sense at all before now ?

  9. #9
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    Feeling of inferiority.. low confidence.. etc.. usually come from how you feel about yourself, mostly unconsciously. Little of it can be changed with logic and reasoning. Proof are so many people who go for years to therapies where they over and over again talk and conclude on cognitive level that they are not wrong, unworthy etc. but they keep going back to the old patterns and old views of themselves, because those beliefs about yourself are mostly subconscious, on conscious level you know you feel less-than but feelings are there, you can change your mind but you cant change your feelings, not with logic.

    Logic works only when you have slightly feeling of being inferior..
    yeah I totally agree. I seem to have really low self-confidence and always cower to people that are arguing with me and tend to agree in the end. However, once I truly think about it, I end up thinking "woah, they really were idiotic in their logic and I was right". I notice that I do that on here sometimes.

  10. #10
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    151

    Default

    A couple of times when I've been with strangers somewhere, I've lied about my name and occupation, etc. It felt kind of awkward and nice at the same time. I could reinvent myself without consequences. I didn't change much of my personality, though. It was still difficult to let go of it. But anyway, strangers provide a good opportunity to look at yourself more objectively.

Similar Threads

  1. The World's Hardest Logic Puzzle
    By MerkW in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 68
    Last Post: 03-14-2011, 12:37 AM
  2. Confident person and a job interview
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 03-11-2008, 05:08 PM
  3. Confidence
    By ygolo in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03-08-2008, 09:47 AM
  4. Alternative logic systems versus sociopathic traits.
    By Park in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 68
    Last Post: 09-22-2007, 04:56 PM
  5. Commonly abused logical Fallacies..
    By SolitaryWalker in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 05-27-2007, 05:54 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO