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  1. #11
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheerchick23 View Post
    So, I was always a kind of shy child, always knew my place and usually cowered in front of authority (making me a bit of a teacher's pet ). This led to an attitude of people-pleasing, not wanting to upset anyone or throw off social balance, etc. so I always had some semi-insecure feelings and habits. I am now a very outgoing, bubbly, silly ENFP around people I know... but I still harbor some of those tendencies.

    A few weeks ago, I went on a trip and was constantly thrown into rooms full of strangers who I'd never met and would never see again, and every time I assumed my position of awkward inferiority. One day, however, (I don't know what led me to it) I realized... why the hell should I be doing this? I could rip off my clothes and do the chicken dance in front of these people and it wouldn't really matter! I'm never seeing them again... so, rationally, why not be this confident vixen who I'd like to be instead of some unassuming awkward bystander? I thought all this out quite analytically, and in doing so, figured out that there is no logical reason why anyone should feel inferior (especially with strangers who will never be seen again) and I felt so much more confident. When I got home it stayed and it has basically changed my world view...

    Anyone ever felt something like this or had a similar experience? I found it quite fascinating
    I had the same kind of epiphany less than a year ago. I would always assume the position of awkward inferiority (or just plain invisible since I had no time/use for people once I got past my inferiority complex) until I started to think about self actualization and why I was crippling my own potential. I decided to be the person I want to be instead of dreaming of it. What's the point if I'm going to exist half way instead of going all the way?

    Logic, pragmatism is my main vehicle of self improvement and it works better for me than anything else. KISS really does work. Sometimes there's no need to over analyze and all the need to actualize.

    I love pragmatism in the internal world.
    Last edited by Vamp; 08-14-2010 at 04:44 AM. Reason: Logic isn't that bad.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    I had the same kind of epiphany less than a year ago. I would always assume the position of awkward inferiority (or just plain invisible since I had no time/use for people once I got past my inferiority complex) until I started to think about self actualization and why I was crippling my own potential. I decided to be the person I want to be instead of dreaming of it. What's the point if I'm going to exist half way instead of going all the way?
    Exactly. Not long ago I also came to this decision: there is no point in living a life if you live only half life. I am bored of it and tired of it. And looking around myself, it's so sad how many people remain like that their whole lifes, living half life. Always being stressed, striving for something that you cant have, fighting lost battles...

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh
    yeah I totally agree. I seem to have really low self-confidence and always cower to people that are arguing with me and tend to agree in the end. However, once I truly think about it, I end up thinking "woah, they really were idiotic in their logic and I was right". I notice that I do that on here sometimes.
    Well.. I am not sure exactly about what you are talking about?
    But if it's what I mean it it is, I know, same here.. but I dont think it's necessary always a bad thing, it has also something with being NF, we have different goals than NTs (if you are talking about arguing with NTs).. also sometimes the issue is not important and the other person is too convinced about being right, I can not claim that I am convinced about many things, I can always change my mind, I think it has much to do with nature not only confidence.. like when I have reviewed all options, when I considered everything... it's hard to make up my mind on something.

    About unconscious... there are good methods to reach it, and process emotions, but its hard.

  3. #13
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    yeah I totally agree. I seem to have really low self-confidence and always cower to people that are arguing with me and tend to agree in the end. However, once I truly think about it, I end up thinking "woah, they really were idiotic in their logic and I was right". I notice that I do that on here sometimes.
    I'm the same way. Particularly around Te or INTPs.

  4. #14
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    Well.. I am not sure exactly about what you are talking about?
    But if it's what I mean it it is, I know, same here.. but I dont think it's necessary always a bad thing, it has also something with being NF, we have different goals than NTs (if you are talking about arguing with NTs).. also sometimes the issue is not important and the other person is too convinced about being right, I can not claim that I am convinced about many things, I can always change my mind, I think it has much to do with nature not only confidence.. like when I have reviewed all options, when I considered everything... it's hard to make up my mind on something.

    About unconscious... there are good methods to reach it, and process emotions, but its hard.
    Well, I was saying that I agreed with you that being "logical" will only bring you confidence if you are only a little shaken in your confidence. I told you that anecdote to show how it relates to me. I was talking about how when people in general (not particularly NTs) start arguing when I am pretty sure about my logic and I start cowering to them in the end because I am insecure about most things. However, after I think about it, it turns out that I was right much of time.

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