Oh. I'm sorry. I'm not good with sticking with dictionary definitions, I'm afraid. BTW: I like your new picture. Is that you or James Dean?
Originally Posted by Deja Vu
I dont get the reference.
That's so cool! Like the Avitar likeness
Originally Posted by Eckhart
Well, for me it is a combination of "waiting for the right one" and social awkwardness. Even if I would be interested in having sex by "settling for less" by taking not necessarily the "right one" woman, I don't know if I would be able to get into a relationship to another woman / girl Social awkwardness... it is not actually so that there was never a girl interested in me, but first I wasn't and second even if I was I would probably mess it up anyway.
Thanks for sharing your experience. This is actually helpful to me because I can see how an INFP male could experience reservations about entering into an intimate relationship. Virgin, as a category, is probably not a fair way to describe a large number of INFPs. How about, younger INFP males are more reluctant than other types to enter into intimate relationships because of their idealism? Does that pretty much capture it or is there something else? Fear?
Thanks for the great advice. I've learned far more than I thought I would about INFPs in general. No matter how the relationship with the INFP turns out, I'll be grateful to you all. I'm pretty committed to be in a relationship with an NF this time around. INFP would be great. But they're awful scarce.
That's why I'll be bummed if this one doesn't work out. But I've already accepted this as a real possibility.
Still, I like to figure this one out. Maybe I'll create a new thread on the topic. INFPs Virgins or Perverts: You Decide!
I'm both, really. Day-to-day, I think of things in rather virginal and innocent ways. I often fantasize more about eyegazes than sex, and if there's a girl I'm really attracted to I only minimally sexualize her. Now, that said, when the passion does grip me, I'll become a very aggressive, eager, perverted, and really quite shameless lover. So I'd call myself an innocent mind with a carnal heart.
I do fit that INFP stereotype in that I lost my virginity relatively late, in fact only about two months ago. The two months since have been...active, however.
As a fellow with an indefinite type (I test as INTP, but I seem to be a feeling type dominated by N(e) which would mean ENFP, however I tend to be somewhat reserved like the INFP) I must toss a few comments here.
When I am in a INFP mood - which is perhaps all the time - I am constantly struggling with my internal values. I am a deeply sensual and even lustful man. But at the same time, I want to cherish and truly love. I abhor promiscuity.
I ador the female form. Women are breathtaking. But I am a romantic. I avoid expressing this passion. I must keep it in check. But nonetheless the sensuality is present.
What happens is this. I am either on or off with women. There is no inbetween. But I must repress it, because it is too intense. It slips out with little looks. My smoldering passions sneak out - I cannot keep them locked up always. So I think that the "little look" is real. An INFP has real passions. They are quite pure and powerful.
BE ready for some intensity when he decides. He must decide that he is good enough for you.
The MBTI types me as an INFP, however, SOCIONICS calls me an Logical Intuitive Extram (called an ENTj in our terms.)
Have any of you INFPs (or other NFs) ever had an INSTENSE eye gazing experience? What was it like? Was the fact that it was intense, significant to you?
Do you think that if the eye gazing was intense for one, it was also significant for the other?
What does eyegazing mean to you (INFPs)? Does it signify love, attraction, appreciation, longing? What is its specific meaning?
have i had intense eye gazing experiences? yes, with every man i've seriously dated. 100% Ns it turns out. the Es (either me or the guy, if an E) initiated intense direct eye contact-type communication. Is were noticeably shy about eye contact in the beginning. in the end, non-verbal communication was an extremely important component of our dynamic. i like it that way.
mutuality? impossible to determine without being a party to your situation, but i'd consider the conversation and/or body language pertaining to each instance. i actively cultivate meaningful eye contact when i care about someone and am at my most vulnerable when i use it. if we have barriers of any kind (e.g., still getting to know each other, had an argument, etc.), my body language is distant but my eyes are communicative. if we are very close (e.g., in love) then i am usually nearby or touching him/her in some familiar way. understanding NF body language + eye contact is actually a powerful arrow to have in your quiver.
what did it mean to me? love, appreciation, longing, hurt, confusion. if i seek out someone's eye contact and hold it, i am communicating whatever is on my mind. as an ENF, i'm generally happy to discuss it unless i feel threatened or that it's otherwise unwise to do so.
I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all. ~ Catherine the Great