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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post
    Please know that I used the word "pervert" loosely. I didn't mean to suggest that INFPs are perverted in some kind of judgmental way. I'm just starting to wonder if their is some preoccupation or obsession with sex for INFPs (maybe INFP males specifically). Again, I get this sense from reading posts from various forums. Of course, some of the posts may be pure bravado. I can see how this preoccupation could arise since INFPs are known to fantasize a lot (Enneagram Type 4s and 5s do too). So there could be a connection there.

    Still, I like to figure this one out. Maybe I'll create a new thread on the topic. INFPs Virgins or Perverts: You Decide!
    I' have a real hard time getting a boner with emotionless girls (bean bag chairs). It has nothing to do with being perverted really. Shy girls (as in emotionless) provoke my insecurities.

    As for being perverted. Perverted is described in the dictionary as; changed to or being of an unnatural or abnormal kind.

    I have no problem with being called a pervert.

  2. #72
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post

    I can't seem to decide whether INFPs are virginesque or perverts deep down inside.


    Yeah. I really do want to understand more about INFP male sexuality. I've visited a number of boards where many of the INFP guys admit to being virgins. Granted, many of these INFP guys are young. But, yet, other INFPs seem to be holding out for the "right" relationship with the "right" person. This is NOT exactly the norm for most guys. That's why I said "virginesque". INFPs are idealists not only in their search for the perfect partner but also, I think, in their general outlook which is marked by childhood innocence.

    Please know that I used the word "pervert" loosely. I didn't mean to suggest that INFPs are perverted in some kind of judgmental way. I'm just starting to wonder if their is some preoccupation or obsession with sex for INFPs (maybe INFP males specifically). Again, I get this sense from reading posts from various forums. Of course, some of the posts may be pure bravado. I can see how this preoccupation could arise since INFPs are known to fantasize a lot (Enneagram Type 4s and 5s do too). So there could be a connection there.

    Still, I like to figure this one out. Maybe I'll create a new thread on the topic. INFPs Virgins or Perverts: You Decide!
    I've said this before in response to other subjects, but it seems to hold true here:

    I am the child on the bed, curled up in his blankets - frightened.
    I am also the monster under the bed, scratching at the boards and growling.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I've said this before in response to other subjects, but it seems to hold true here:

    I am the child on the bed, curled up in his blankets - frightened.
    I am also the monster under the bed, scratching at the boards and growling.
    Haha, true.

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I've said this before in response to other subjects, but it seems to hold true here:

    I am the child on the bed, curled up in his blankets - frightened.
    I am also the monster under the bed, scratching at the boards and growling.
    Yeah, I second this. Very well put.

  5. #75
    Member Fenekk's Avatar
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    Honestly, if an INFP stared at me like that, I'd either be trying to avoid it (intensity can be intimidating...) or staring back like "wuuuuuuut?" ...which would probably make him upset.

    INFP Virgins or Perverts? Both INFPs I know are virgins (and I'm not assuming; they have told me.) The INFP female I know is not perverted. The INFP male I know is a closet pervert, but not bad at all like some OTHER guys I know... heheh.
    NaNoWriMo 2010 [[Nahe: Iveor]]
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  6. #76
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Just here to post the appropriate work of feminist pop art.




    INFPs I know are deeply sensual people, although not always outwardly in the ways people expect. "Virgins or perverts" is too simplistic.
    the formless thing which gives things form!
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  7. #77
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    Just here to post the appropriate work of feminist pop art.




    INFPs I know are deeply sensual people, although not always outwardly in the ways people expect. "Virgins or perverts" is too simplistic.
    Hi Vasilisa - I like the way your avitar mirrors the photo you posted. Very interesting. Object vs. image.

    Of course, virgins or perverts is a simplistic way of characterizing male INFP sexuality. That was, kinda, the point. By presenting this dichotomy (or choice) I was hoping to create some tension or controversy. I don't think it's one or the other. Although, (I think I mentioned earlier) both words seem to capture an aspect of INFP, at least in the way their experience has been presented to me.

    I feel I should respond to the image you posted because it perhaps implies a feminist reponse (a la Luce Iriguay, a French postmodern theorist) to some of the comments I or others have made (?) If I understand the meaning of the image and its words (YOUR GAZE HITS THE SIDE OF MY FACE) correctly, the woman is deflecting the gaze by refusing to acknowledge it and thereby is not objectified or subjegated by it. That's a legitimate way of interpreting the gaze of a man towards a woman. Another way to look at the gaze is to see it in its romantic context as a means to connect a man and woman. This occurs when the gaze is welcomed and returned by a woman. The woman then experiences something very different than a sense of being objectified. It is possible that a woman is seen, made visible and acknowledged. That was my experience as I described earlier in the post.


    I personally feel ambivalent about being treated as an 'object' of male desire. I don't feel comfortable when men are LEERING or STARING at me in a bar or on the street. In that case, I DO feel 'objectified' in the sense of feeling like a piece of meat or a commodity.

    Fortunately , my sense of identity is not caught up in seeking the attention of men. I want to be taken seriously as a woman of worth and substance. For this reason, I don't dress provocatively for men, I haven't gotten breast implants or lip enlargements, and another of other things.

    However, I also recognize that gazing is part of the mating ritual within our culture. It cannot be denied that men are visual creatures. In a romantic context, it's often the way that men and women connect which has more to do with chemistry, hormones and ritualitic human behavior more than anything else.

  8. #78
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fenekk View Post
    Honestly, if an INFP stared at me like that, I'd either be trying to avoid it (intensity can be intimidating...) or staring back like "wuuuuuuut?" ...which would probably make him upset.
    Yeah. It was very intense for me. That's why it was very hard to maintain the gaze. But at the same time, it was welcome. I felt visible, at that moment, in a way I haven't in a long time. It felt like a complement to be acknowledged that way. I didn't feel objectified at all. But I think that's because the two of us have a pre-existing relationship of trust.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fenekk View Post
    INFP Virgins or Perverts? Both INFPs I know are virgins (and I'm not assuming; they have told me.)
    Yeah. Well the reason I bring up virgin and male sexuality is because it seems that there are a disproportionate amount of male INFPs (in their twenties) who are still virgins. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but I wonder why that's the case. What would be so wrong with having sex for these guys at a younger age? Are they holding out for the right one/the ideal one or are they just not that interested in sex? I've always thought (probably mistakenly) that young men have such a high sex drive that they're pretty much compelled to have sex (with someone).

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I've said this before in response to other subjects, but it seems to hold true here:

    I am the child on the bed, curled up in his blankets - frightened.
    I am also the monster under the bed, scratching at the boards and growling.
    Runvardh - That's an interesting way of looking at things... Honestly though (no offense), I'm not sure what it means... Though a couple of your fellow INFPs did as they posted above. The child sounds so sad and trapped. Is the monster of the child's own making? (You'll have to forgive me...I'm horrible at literary analysis - and while I realize this isn't something profound - I still don't get the connection to INFP male sexuality).

    Quote Originally Posted by Fenekk View Post
    The INFP female I know is not perverted. The INFP male I know is a closet pervert, but not bad at all like some OTHER guys I know... heheh.
    What do you mean by closet pervert? I just threw the term pervert out there (perhaps irresponsibly). When I suggest that INFPs may have a perverted sense of sexuality, I mean that their sexual tendencies, beliefs, practices and behaviors might be a bit different than the norm. INFP males might seem strange or kinky or obsessed in response to their more Puritanical or sexual status (for lack of a better word) - virgin or nonvirgin. These are ONLY some ideas I have, however, from reasoning various INFP threads. I think it would be great to hear from some INFP males to weigh in on the issue - INFP male sexuality, in general.

    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    As for being perverted. Perverted is described in the dictionary as; changed to or being of an unnatural or abnormal kind.

    I have no problem with being called a pervert.
    Angell_ M - Could you tell me what you mean by unnatural or abnormal (the PG13 version please)?
    Last edited by Onceajoan; 08-26-2010 at 07:42 PM. Reason: adding post response

  9. #79
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Well, for me it is a combination of "waiting for the right one" and social awkwardness. Even if I would be interested in having sex by "settling for less" by taking not necessarily the "right one" woman, I don't know if I would be able to get into a relationship to another woman / girl Social awkwardness... it is not actually so that there was never a girl interested in me, but first I wasn't and second even if I was I would probably mess it up anyway.

  10. #80
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    Just here to post the appropriate work of feminist pop art.




    INFPs I know are deeply sensual people, although not always outwardly in the ways people expect. "Virgins or perverts" is too simplistic.
    I dont get the reference.

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