When I was 22, I moved back home to teach and my boyfriend came with me. We had our little home and our cat and our grocery shopping trips and our tiffs over how to handle the dirty dishes. It was good, but it didn't last because he was unhappy living in this town far away from friends and mental stimulation... and well, I stopped being in love with him, maybe because his unhappiness rubbed off on me. Ultimately I felt guilty and sent him packing with his best interests in mind.
So now I've been dating this other guy (O) in a town about 70 miles away for about eight months and we're talking about moving in after the school year is over for me (at that point, we'll be dating over a year). And you know, I want to. I will be free from obligation to this school district, so I'm going to shop around my (totally bitchin') resume and get a public school job near him (and hey, that's near you, Ivy! Woot!). And we'll find a place that is neutral ground (I don't want to move in to HIS space; we're finally getting over our weird power dynamics). I think it'll be great when we do it - but it's really, really scary. I don't know if it's normal to be terrified or if I'm also layering on this memory of how my ex was unhappy because he loved me enough to follow me somewhere. The thought of totally changing my life for a man is really terrifying.
So, as usual with me, ambivalence rules. I WANT this, but it's just scary. Talk me off the ledge.