- Practice. It's sort of a habit. The way to get the ball rolling on such a habit is to decide to take on that mentality in the first place.
- Sad to say, and I'm really hesitant to say this, but it actually helps to 'judge' people to a certain extent. We want to get deep into others' underlying motivations, sure.. but when you do, it's very difficult to separate yourself from them because you can excuse all sorts of behavior--"Oh, this person is just x, so they're gonna behave like y."
Sometimes, you just have to truncate that line of thought and look at certain behaviors as just.. inexcusable, from your perspective. That's not to say that the underlying motivations can't be recognized, but that they shouldn't be taken too far.
- Know that you don't know what's best for everyone. From your perspective--the only one that you can actually control--some course of action seems most reasonable. To others, it won't be. You might be wrong when it comes to what works for someone. This is another reason why it's not so good to get frustrated when someone acts in a way that we don't want them to act.
- Find people who you can actually trust mutually, the people who allow you to bounce your problems off of them, too. This sort of helps put your relationships with other people in perspective.
- A mindset of self-preservation, while dangerous if kept for the long term, can help stave off 'people-drama.' If you keep in mind that you must do what's best for yourself--at least for a little while--it'll be easier to make the decisions that preserve your own sanity.
At the very least, separating your happiness from others' happiness can be helpful. After all, at the end of the day, you really have no bearing on others' happiness.
Yeah, I'm not quite there yet, either. A part of me feels like I've gone to the other extreme and have not gotten as involved with others as I 'should.' We'll see what works in the end, though vv
I dunno. The lady and I have a friend who's in an on-again, off-again relationship. We sort of keep telling him that it's not healthy, for reasons x, y, and z. He keeps saying something along the lines of.. "You know, that does suck. I should just end it now and keep it ended." And then he doesn't do that. And then he becomes heartbroken every time they break up. And then he wants to talk about it. Repeat ad infinitum, forever, until the end of time.
After a while, we were both sick of the situation. We know and understand his motivations. But, well, for our sake, we've actually had to tell him that we don't want to get involved in that situation any longer.
We have to let him come to his own decisions. The relationship might work out for him. We don't think that it will, but there is absolutely nothing that we can do about it.
And that's okay.