[MBTI General] I feel squashed

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Can you explain your question? What do you mean by 'anything else differently?'

 

[mochajava]

I think infj and enfj are the emotional geniuses of the psyche. I know 2 enfj's and a few infj's, and they are the people i comunicate best with, i guess its because we are on the same pitch, emotionally. I do find however that the 'e' part of 'nfj' helps them to express thoughts verbally, whereas the 'i' dimension may find it easier doing so non-verbally. Whatever the case, i love myself and accept the whole of me, no matter what!

Exactly! There should be a t-shirt that says "INFJs DO IT in WRITING" heh heh heh... poor joke...

 

[Fenekk]

Exactly! There should be a t-shirt that says "INFJs DO IT in WRITING" heh heh heh... poor joke...

INFJs do it... with... their pen!.... :O

 

[Expanding]

I would write on the T-shirt, " i am a genius, if you want to get anything out of me bring me a pen and paper."
the people who take the effort to fetch a pen n paper are the ones who i consider potential friends and will appreciate them and open up to them. The ones who are indifferent will be overlooked by me. Is this very haughty or is it self-protection?

 

[mochajava]

I would write on the T-shirt, " i am a genius, if you want to get anything out of me bring me a pen and paper."
the people who take the effort to fetch a pen n paper are the ones who i consider potential friends and will appreciate them and open up to them. The ones who are indifferent will be overlooked by me. Is this very haughty or is it self-protection?

It works for you - that's what I care about. I don't care if it's haughty or self-protective Doing what works for you is more important. Now if only I could take my own advice...

 

[Expanding]

Yeah absolutely! I think you're right, Mochajava. Its all about experimenting and learning to do what you need to for yourself. I know this in my head, but need to register it in my heart! My over-needing others approval has really caused me to do some deep introspection as to what it does to me. It leads me to unhealthy relationships. My new goal is "i am ok no matter what anyone thinks."

 

[mochajava]

That's a good goal, and good words to put around it too. I'm the same way; it's easier to know things in your head, very hard to register them in your heart.

I wonder if thinking types don't have that disconnect -- any want to weigh in?

 

[Expanding]

I would imagine that all types have some level of intelectual knowledge versus experiential, emotional understanding that they need to work through. Possibly thinking types even more so due to the analysing of ideas etc.ie: they spend more time in their heads than others. Although i am a feeler i see myself as someone with an intelectual heart. So in that sense i am a thinker - who spends time analysing my heart, instead of feeling it! I need to learn to bridge my heart and mind together to integrate and express creatively what ive gathered inside. Did any of that make any sense? Or am i way off the track?!!

 

[Sunshine8]

All good points about the long term management/prevention of this feeling. But I know what you mean about how to let out the steam once your emotions are already triggered - when you want to run away screaming but you can't? It is a bit too late to get out the paints at this stage.

If I am in a party or at work and I need some time out I go to the toilet, I paper the seat and sit down and I rest my head in my lap and sort of cuddle my legs. I take some nice breaths in that space and just blank everything else out. No one can disturb you in there, and once you are overwhelmed and squashed you need to center yourself back into yourself. It gives me back to myself instead of feeling like something being attacked by the outside world and its demands. It helps but things in perspective

 

[Expanding]

Thanks, Sunshine8, thats a good idea. I think im going to do the 'escape to toilet breathing' if need be. I used to think i was slightly autistic by needing to recharge and tune out the world, but ive come to realize that the more capacity a person is blessed with, the more one has to keep up with oneself, and maintain a healthy way of living. Otherwise the gap between what i want to be and who i am, becomes too wide and it's during those moments that i feel awful and start going into depression. But im hoping to catch myself in future, way before im anywhere near those dark, neurotic states of mind.

 

[mochajava]

Thanks, Sunshine8, thats a good idea. I think im going to do the 'escape to toilet breathing' if need be. I used to think i was slightly autistic by needing to recharge and tune out the world, but ive come to realize that the more capacity a person is blessed with, the more one has to keep up with oneself, and maintain a healthy way of living. Otherwise the gap between what i want to be and who i am, becomes too wide and it's during those moments that i feel awful and start going into depression. But im hoping to catch myself in future, way before im anywhere near those dark, neurotic states of mind.

I relate to this quite a bit, particularly that gulf between "who I am" vs. "who I wanted to be". It's almost like a theme with me... I thought I'd be 'further along' by this point in my life. And - please don't think me arrogant for this - I meet people in a similar place in my life who are not nearly as far along as me (at least in the ways I'm measuring). But they are so happy with themselves for such small, silly (to me) things. And that is a trigger - how can they be so okay with who they are?

 

[Expanding]

I identify with what triggers you, Mochajava. I think we are blessed with the wisdom of the psyche and are more aware of ourselves. This helps us grow but the flip side is that we see other peoples journeys and wish we could navigate things for them, or help them towards more depth and awareness. But i guess they are more focused on "doing" than on "being."