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  1. #1
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    Default How would you take this?

    So my friend comes round and tells me that at a party the other night, she played Spin the Bottle with my S/O, and starts talking to me about his kissing etc...However, on the night of the party we decided not to go, choosing to see a movie and get something to eat instead...we stayed up til like 4am, so neither of us went, and well he's only met this friend once before that.

    So...why go to all that trouble to lie? Should I be wary of her making up more stuff or not? Seems a little pointless but she must have some reason...

  2. #2
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    ...... 0_0

    Sorry to hear. How are you thinking of handling the situation? i'm sure you want to hear, how others' might personally handle it, so here's how I would:

    initial reaction: "wttttfffffffffffff".
    phase 2: contemplation
    phase 3: attempting to understand view point
    phase 4: confrontation. I would probe the friend to see the limits to which they have defined the (imaginary) "situation" (for clarity, but if I was pissed, I'd do that for the luls, though I don't like humiliating people, so I'd keep it as direct and frank as possible). I would ask if they were joking. If not, I would point out the facts of what happened, and ask them why they made the comments and their intentions. I would then be very observant as to their truthfulness. Honestly, I would become very skeptical of this "friend" from that point onwards, and if their explanation was not satisfactory, and the relationship seemed ambiguous in terms of loyalty, I would cut contact with this friend for the sake of my relationship with my SO.

    How I would take it is that I would really want to find answers (closure) from the horses mouth, rather than to mull over it for too long. I don't like being around, or attached to, people who are corrosive, or have bad intentions... so I'd want to deal with the friend as quickly as possible.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by FalseHeartDothKnow View Post
    So my friend comes round and tells me that at a party the other night, she played Spin the Bottle with my S/O, and starts talking to me about his kissing etc...However, on the night of the party we decided not to go, choosing to see a movie and get something to eat instead...we stayed up til like 4am, so neither of us went, and well he's only met this friend once before that.

    So...why go to all that trouble to lie? Should I be wary of her making up more stuff or not? Seems a little pointless but she must have some reason...
    She probably hoped we weren't in the same place that night so she could stir. Now she just looks like she lives in a little fantasy, regardless of why she said it. I bet she didn't tell her fiance this story.

  4. #4
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    Perhaps I'm too old, or perhaps I am too negative, or perhaps I'm not social enough. But I would not play spin the bottle o.O
    Last edited by angell_m; 08-09-2010 at 11:54 AM. Reason: blah

  5. #5
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Did you confront her with that already when she told you so? What did she say if so?

    Or maybe she even confused him with someone else (maybe if drunk it can happen, I don't know, lol). You said she saw him only once before anyway.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Echoes View Post
    I bet she didn't tell her fiance this story.
    On top of trying to tell you that your SO cheated, she's got a fiance herself?

    Is she unhappy in her relationship? Does she want you to feel unhappy with yours as well in order to validate her opinion of her own relationship?


    Quote Originally Posted by Hopelandic View Post
    Honestly, I would become very skeptical of this "friend" from that point onwards, and if their explanation was not satisfactory, and the relationship seemed ambiguous in terms of loyalty, I would cut contact with this friend for the sake of my relationship with my SO.
    this answers it for me

    If they weren't a close friend, I'd probably not even have the balls to--and/or wouldn't bother with--confront the person before I made my assessment.

    If they were a close friend, I'd do some digging to maybe try to salvage the friendship, but I'd ultimately want to preserve my relationship with the SO first vv

  7. #7
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    What the hell kind of friend is that??

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    What the hell kind of friend is that??
    And the world makes sense again. That chick sounds messed up. I'd drop her and talk to your SO about what went on.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  9. #9
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    Doesn't sound like a very good friend to me. :/

  10. #10
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    Thanks for all your helpful replies

    Quote Originally Posted by Eckhart View Post
    Did you confront her with that already when she told you so? What did she say if so?

    Or maybe she even confused him with someone else (maybe if drunk it can happen, I don't know, lol). You said she saw him only once before anyway.

    I said 'but we've never played that, not to be prudish but it isn't our thing, he was with me that night anyway'

    She replied,

    'No, YOU'VE never played that (insert loads of details about said game at the party)...oops now I'm acting like I'm drunk' LOL.

    ( even though she was mistaken, her tone sounded upbeat.)

    *friend continues conversation in a completely sober as if she hadn't said anything offensive, I feel like saying something inappropriate so say nothing, and am minimally involved with her until she wants to go home, I show her out*

    Her fiance is a really decent guy, and well, I dunno what the rules of their relationship are, but I'm guessing she might get him in on games like that cause he adores her and would do anything for her. Having said that, he wasn't there so I dunno.

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