[MBTI General] How would you take this?

[FalseHeartDothKnow]

So my friend comes round and tells me that at a party the other night, she played Spin the Bottle with my S/O, and starts talking to me about his kissing etc...However, on the night of the party we decided not to go, choosing to see a movie and get something to eat instead...we stayed up til like 4am, so neither of us went, and well he's only met this friend once before that.

So...why go to all that trouble to lie? Should I be wary of her making up more stuff or not? Seems a little pointless but she must have some reason...

 

[Hopelandic]

...... 0_0

Sorry to hear. How are you thinking of handling the situation? i'm sure you want to hear, how others' might personally handle it, so here's how I would:

initial reaction: "wttttfffffffffffff".
phase 2: contemplation
phase 3: attempting to understand view point
phase 4: confrontation. I would probe the friend to see the limits to which they have defined the (imaginary) "situation" (for clarity, but if I was pissed, I'd do that for the luls, though I don't like humiliating people, so I'd keep it as direct and frank as possible). I would ask if they were joking. If not, I would point out the facts of what happened, and ask them why they made the comments and their intentions. I would then be very observant as to their truthfulness. Honestly, I would become very skeptical of this "friend" from that point onwards, and if their explanation was not satisfactory, and the relationship seemed ambiguous in terms of loyalty, I would cut contact with this friend for the sake of my relationship with my SO.

How I would take it is that I would really want to find answers (closure) from the horses mouth, rather than to mull over it for too long. I don't like being around, or attached to, people who are corrosive, or have bad intentions... so I'd want to deal with the friend as quickly as possible.

 

[Echoes]

So my friend comes round and tells me that at a party the other night, she played Spin the Bottle with my S/O, and starts talking to me about his kissing etc...However, on the night of the party we decided not to go, choosing to see a movie and get something to eat instead...we stayed up til like 4am, so neither of us went, and well he's only met this friend once before that.

So...why go to all that trouble to lie? Should I be wary of her making up more stuff or not? Seems a little pointless but she must have some reason...

She probably hoped we weren't in the same place that night so she could stir. Now she just looks like she lives in a little fantasy, regardless of why she said it. I bet she didn't tell her fiance this story.

 

[angell_m]

Perhaps I'm too old, or perhaps I am too negative, or perhaps I'm not social enough. But I would not play spin the bottle

 

[Eckhart]

Did you confront her with that already when she told you so? What did she say if so?

Or maybe she even confused him with someone else (maybe if drunk it can happen, I don't know, lol). You said she saw him only once before anyway.

 

[garbage]

I bet she didn't tell her fiance this story.

On top of trying to tell you that your SO cheated, she's got a fiance herself?

Is she unhappy in her relationship? Does she want you to feel unhappy with yours as well in order to validate her opinion of her own relationship?

Honestly, I would become very skeptical of this "friend" from that point onwards, and if their explanation was not satisfactory, and the relationship seemed ambiguous in terms of loyalty, I would cut contact with this friend for the sake of my relationship with my SO.

this answers it for me

If they weren't a close friend, I'd probably not even have the balls to--and/or wouldn't bother with--confront the person before I made my assessment.

If they were a close friend, I'd do some digging to maybe try to salvage the friendship, but I'd ultimately want to preserve my relationship with the SO first vv

 

[Tiltyred]

What the hell kind of friend is that??

 

[ReadingRainbows]

What the hell kind of friend is that??

And the world makes sense again. That chick sounds messed up. I'd drop her and talk to your SO about what went on.

 

[musicnerd93]

Doesn't sound like a very good friend to me. :/

 

[FalseHeartDothKnow]

Thanks for all your helpful replies

Did you confront her with that already when she told you so? What did she say if so?

Or maybe she even confused him with someone else (maybe if drunk it can happen, I don't know, lol). You said she saw him only once before anyway.

I said 'but we've never played that, not to be prudish but it isn't our thing, he was with me that night anyway'

She replied,

'No, YOU'VE never played that (insert loads of details about said game at the party)...oops now I'm acting like I'm drunk' LOL.

( even though she was mistaken, her tone sounded upbeat.)

*friend continues conversation in a completely sober as if she hadn't said anything offensive, I feel like saying something inappropriate so say nothing, and am minimally involved with her until she wants to go home, I show her out*

Her fiance is a really decent guy, and well, I dunno what the rules of their relationship are, but I'm guessing she might get him in on games like that cause he adores her and would do anything for her. Having said that, he wasn't there so I dunno.

 

[Qre:us]

What the hell kind of friend is that??

Yup.

And, secondly, you don't fuck with me and mine.

It's time to bring on the humiliation.

If I was in this situation, some part of me would actually bring up her "Spin the Bottle" story while she was present and we were in the company of S/O AND her fiancé.

And, watch her attempt to explain herself, to all the parties present.

And, once that fun was over, I'd send that "friend" packing.

 

[cascadeco]

^^ I am so confused about this whole thing, I don't even know what to say.

Needless to say, she makes no sense and I consider her foolish and wouldn't have a desire to deal with her at all.

 

[cafe]

I would take it to mean that my friend was either psychotic and at least on some level wished me ill or pathological liar and not too bright and wished me ill. Either way I think this would be someone that I would keep at arms length or avoid completely. With friends like that who needs enemies, ya know?

 

[Echoes]

Just thought, if she lives on fantasy and can't understand the words 'we were not there...' Try:

We went to the cinema, and unfortunately our Delorean was being repaired by Oompa Loompas, and we accidentally left our Timeturner with Galdalf on the planet Alderaan when it was destroyed, so we had no mode of time travel transportation...roughly translated as we can't be in two places at once.

 

[Betty Blue]

Yup.

And, secondly, you don't fuck with me and mine.

It's time to bring on the humiliation.

If I was in this situation, some part of me would actually bring up her "Spin the Bottle" story while she was present and we were in the company of S/O AND her fiancé.

And, watch her attempt to explain herself, to all the parties present.

And, once that fun was over, I'd send that "friend" packing.

This. But i'd double check the details of exactly which party it was just to make sure theres no mistake.
Have you talked to your SO about it?

 

[FalseHeartDothKnow]

[/QUOTE]Have you talked to your SO about it?[/QUOTE]

Yeah, the reaction was a mixture of shock, bewilderment and interest in my reaction, and then he unexpectedly joined the thread.

 

[Eckhart]

She insists on her story even though you told her he was with you all the night? Well, obviously she has something going on then :/

 

[stringstheory]

i once had a friend like this. to put it simply, she's crazy. she could possibly be delusional, but who knows. how long have you known this person?

 

[FalseHeartDothKnow]

Since late childhood, I always knew she could be immature, but not like this. I've been at Uni so I haven't really seen her much recently, but she's in her 20s so you know, there's a point where you can't use the socially immature thing anymore I guess.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I think I would probe for two specific answers. Whether she lies about other things and if she doesn't then go onto the why now. If she does lie about other things then you can let her go. Length of time given to explain is dependant as always on how long you know the person, but this would be my immediate reaction.